WIST

There’s nothing new under the sun, but there are lots of old things we don’t know.

Ambrose Bierce (1842-1914?) American writer and journalist
(Attributed)

Speak when you are angry and you will make the best speech you will ever regret.

Ambrose Bierce (1842-1914?) American writer and journalist
(Attributed)

The most intolerant advocate is he who is trying to convince himself.

Ambrose Bierce (1842-1914?) American writer and journalist
The Collected Works of Ambrose Bierce, Vol. 8, “Epigrams” (1911)

Full text.

Experience is a revelation in the light of which we renounce our errors of youth for those of age.

Ambrose Bierce (1842-1914?) American writer and journalist
The Collected Works of Ambrose Bierce, Vol. 8, “Epigrams” (1911)

Full text.

If public opinion were determined by a throw of the dice, it would in the long run be half the time right.

Ambrose Bierce (1842-1914?) American writer and journalist
The Collected Works of Ambrose Bierce, Vol. 8, “Epigrams” (1911)

Full text.

Grief and discomfiture are coals that cool: 
Why keep them glowing with thy sighs, poor fool?

Ambrose Bierce (1842-1914?) American writer and journalist
The Collected Works of Ambrose Bierce, Vol. 8, “Epigrams” (1911)

Full text.

“There’s no free will,” says the philosopher;
   “To hang is most unjust.”
“There is no free will,” assents the officer;
   “We hang because we must.”

Ambrose Bierce (1842-1914?) American writer and journalist
The Collected Works of Ambrose Bierce, Vol. 8, “Epigrams” (1911)

Full text.

A slight is less easily forgiven than an injury, because it implies something of contempt, indifference, an overlooking of our importance; whereas an injury presupposes some degree of consideration. “The black-guards!” said a traveler whom Sicilian brigands had released without ransom; “did they think me a person of no consequence?”

Ambrose Bierce (1842-1914?) American writer and journalist
The Collected Works of Ambrose Bierce, Vol. 8, “Epigrams” (1911)

Full text.

All are lunatics, but he who can analyze his delusion is called a philosopher.

Ambrose Bierce (1842-1914?) American writer and journalist
The Collected Works of Ambrose Bierce, Vol. 8, “Epigrams” (1911)

Full text.

In childhood we expect, in youth demand, in manhood hope, and in age beseech.

Ambrose Bierce (1842-1914?) American writer and journalist
The Collected Works of Ambrose Bierce, Vol. 8, “Epigrams” (1911)

Full text.

To parents only, death brings an inconsolable sorrow. When the young die and the old live, nature’s machinery is working with the friction that we name grief.

Ambrose Bierce (1842-1914?) American writer and journalist
The Collected Works of Ambrose Bierce, Vol. 8, “Epigrams” (1911)

Full text.

ABSURDITY, n. A statement or belief manifestly inconsistent with one’s own opinion.

Ambrose Bierce (1842-1914?) American writer and journalist
The Cynic’s Word Book, “Absurdity” (1906)

ADMIRATION, n. Our polite recognition of another’s resemblance to ourselves.

Ambrose Bierce (1842-1914?) American writer and journalist
The Cynic’s Word Book, “Admiration” (1906)

BIGOT, n. One who is obstinately and zealously attached to an opinion that you don’t entertain.

Ambrose Bierce (1842-1914?) American writer and journalist
The Cynic’s Word Book, “Bigot” (1906)

BORE, n. A person who talks when you wish him to listen.

Ambrose Bierce (1842-1914?) American writer and journalist
The Cynic’s Word Book, “Bore” (1906)

BRAIN, n. an apparatus with which we think we think.

Ambrose Bierce (1842-1914?) American writer and journalist
The Cynic’s Word Book, “Brain” (1906)

CHRISTIAN, n.  One who follows the teachings of Christ in so far as they are not inconsistent with a life of sin.

Ambrose Bierce (1842-1914?) American writer and journalist
The Cynic’s Word Book, “Christian” (1906)

CONSERVATIVE, n. A statesman who is enamored of existing evils, as distinguished from the Liberal, who wishes to replace them others.

Ambrose Bierce (1842-1914?) American writer and journalist
The Cynic’s Word Book, “Conservative” (1906)

CORPORATION, n. An ingenious device for obtaining individual profit without individual responsibility.

Ambrose Bierce (1842-1914?) American writer and journalist
The Cynic’s Word Book, “Corporation” (1911)

CYNIC, n. A blackguard whose faulty vision sees things the way they are, and not as they ought to be.

Ambrose Bierce (1842-1914?) American writer and journalist
The Cynic’s Word Book, “Cynic” (1906)

DEBAUCHEE, n. One who has so earnestly pursued pleasure that he has had the misfortune to overtake it.

Ambrose Bierce (1842-1914?) American writer and journalist
The Cynic’s Word Book, “Debauchee” (1906)

DESTINY, n. A tyrant’s authority for crime, and a fool’s excuse for failure.

Ambrose Bierce (1842-1914?) American writer and journalist
The Cynic’s Word Book, “Destiny” (1906)

DIARY, n. A daily record of that part of one’s life, which he can relate to himself without blushing.

Ambrose Bierce (1842-1914?) American writer and journalist
The Cynic’s Word Book, “Diary” (1911)

DIPLOMACY, n. The patriotic art of lying for one’s country.

Ambrose Bierce (1842-1914?) American writer and journalist
The Cynic’s Word Book, “Diplomacy” (1906)

DISCUSSION, n. A method of confirming others in their errors.

Ambrose Bierce (1842-1914?) American writer and journalist
The Cynic’s Word Book, “Discussion” (1906)

DISTANCE, n. The only thing that the rich are willing for the poor to call theirs, and keep.

Ambrose Bierce (1842-1914?) American writer and journalist
The Cynic’s Word Book, “Distance” (1906)

EDUCATION, n. That which discloses to the wise and disguises from the foolish their lack of understanding.

Ambrose Bierce (1842-1914?) American writer and journalist
The Cynic’s Word Book, “Education” (1906)

EGOTIST, n. A person of low taste, more interested in himself than in me.

Ambrose Bierce (1842-1914?) American writer and journalist
The Cynic’s Word Book, “Egotist” (1906)

FAMOUS, adj. Conspicuously miserable.

Ambrose Bierce (1842-1914?) American writer and journalist
The Cynic’s Word Book, “Famous” (1906)

HISTORY, n. An account mostly false, of events mostly unimportant, which are brought about by rulers mostly knaves, and soldiers mostly fools.

Ambrose Bierce (1842-1914?) American writer and journalist
The Cynic’s Word Book, “History” (1906)