WIST

It iz an actewal fackt that most ov us work harder, tew seem happy, than we should have to, to be happy.

Josh Billings (1818-1885) American humorist [pseud. of Henry Wheeler Shaw]
“Josh Settles Up with His Correspondents Summarily,” Josh Billing’s Encyclopedia (1874)

As in a game ov cards, so in the game ov life, we must play what is dealt tew us, and the glory consists, not so mutch in winning, as in playing a poor hand well.

Josh Billings (1818-1885) American humorist [pseud. of Henry Wheeler Shaw]
“Ods and Ens,” Josh Billing’s Encyclopedia (1874)
Full text.

Faith was given to man to lengthen out his reason.

Josh Billings (1818-1885) American humorist [pseud. of Henry Wheeler Shaw]
(Attributed)

Politeness has won more victories than logic ever has.

Josh Billings (1818-1885) American humorist [pseud. of Henry Wheeler Shaw]
(Attributed)

Flattery is like cologne water, to be smelt of, not swallowed.

Josh Billings (1818-1885) American humorist [pseud. of Henry Wheeler Shaw]
(Attributed)

I have lived in this world just long enough to look carefully the second time into things that I am most certain of the first time.

Josh Billings (1818-1885) American humorist [pseud. of Henry Wheeler Shaw]
(Attributed)

As scarce as truth is, the supply has always been in excess of the demand.

Josh Billings (1818-1885) American humorist [pseud. of Henry Wheeler Shaw]
(Attributed)

Consider the postage stamp: Its usefulness consists in the ability to stick to one thing till it gets there.

Josh Billings (1818-1885) American humorist [pseud. of Henry Wheeler Shaw]
(Attributed)

The best cure for rheumatism is to thank the Lord it ain’t the gout.

Josh Billings (1818-1885) American humorist [pseud. of Henry Wheeler Shaw]
(Attributed)

Every man has his follies — and often they are the most interesting thing he had got.

Josh Billings (1818-1885) American humorist [pseud. of Henry Wheeler Shaw]
(Attributed)

What the moral army needs just now is more rank and file and fewer brigadier generals.

Josh Billings (1818-1885) American humorist [pseud. of Henry Wheeler Shaw]
(Attributed)

Education is a good thing generally, but most folks educate their prejudices.

Josh Billings (1818-1885) American humorist [pseud. of Henry Wheeler Shaw]
Everybody’s Friend, or Josh Billing’s Encyclopedia and Proverbial Philosophy of Wit and Humor

The man who never makes enny blunders seldum makes enny good hits.

Josh Billings (1818-1885) American humorist [pseud. of Henry Wheeler Shaw]
Josh Billing’s Encyclopedia, “Kindling Wood” (1874)

Conversashun should be enlivened with wit, not compozed ov it.

Josh Billings (1818-1885) American humorist [pseud. of Henry Wheeler Shaw]
Josh Billing’s Encyclopedia, “Sollum Thoughts” (1874)

To be thoroughly good-natured, and yet avoid being imposed upon, shows great strength ov character.

Josh Billings (1818-1885) American humorist [pseud. of Henry Wheeler Shaw]
Josh Billings Encyclopedia, “Hot Korn” (1874)

The trouble with people is not that they don’t know but that they know so much that ain’t so.

Josh Billings (1818-1885) American humorist [pseud. of Henry Wheeler Shaw]
Josh Billings’ Encyclopedia of Wit and Wisdom (1874)

Nature never makes any blunders; when she makes a fool she means it.

Josh Billings (1818-1885) American humorist [pseud. of Henry Wheeler Shaw]
Josh Billings: His Sayings (1865)