WIST

Live so that you can at least get the benefit of the doubt.

Kin Hubbard (1868-1930) American caricaturist and humorist [Frank McKinney Hubbard]
(Attributed)

Honesty pays, but it don’t seem to pay enough to suit some people.

Kin Hubbard (1868-1930) American caricaturist and humorist [Frank McKinney Hubbard]
(Attributed)
Quoted in Time (2 Jul 1973) Also given as "It pays t'be honest, but it don't pay enough t'suit some fellers."

Don’t knock the weather; nine-tenths of the people couldn’t start a conversation if it didn’t change once in a while.

Kin Hubbard (1868-1930) American caricaturist and humorist [Frank McKinney Hubbard]
(Attributed)
Variant: "'Don't knock the weather. If it didn't change once in a while, nine out of ten people couldn't start a conversation."

Some folks can look so busy doin’ nothin’ that they seem indispensable.

Kin Hubbard (1868-1930) American caricaturist and humorist [Frank McKinney Hubbard]
(Attributed)

Some fellows get credit for being conservative when they are only stupid.

Kin Hubbard (1868-1930) American caricaturist and humorist [Frank McKinney Hubbard]
(Attributed)

Being an optimist after you’ve got everything you want doesn’t count.

Kin Hubbard (1868-1930) American caricaturist and humorist [Frank McKinney Hubbard]
(Attributed)

Ever’ once in a while we meet a feller that’s too proud t’ beg, an’ too honest t’ steal, an’ too lazy t’ work.

Kin Hubbard (1868-1930) American caricaturist and humorist [Frank McKinney Hubbard]
Abe Martin’s Almanack
Full text.

If there’s anything mean in a feller, a little authority will bring it out.

Kin Hubbard (1868-1930) American caricaturist and humorist [Frank McKinney Hubbard]
Abe Martin’s Back Country Sayings (1917)

Ther’s few things in this life that equal th’ sensation o’ bein’ paid up.

Kin Hubbard (1868-1930) American caricaturist and humorist [Frank McKinney Hubbard]
Abe Martin’s Back Country Sayings (1917)

If others could only see us as we think we are.

Kin Hubbard (1868-1930) American caricaturist and humorist [Frank McKinney Hubbard]
Abe Martin’s Back Country Sayings (1917)

We all run in debt for things we wouldna’ think o’ payin’ perfectly good money for.

Kin Hubbard (1868-1930) American caricaturist and humorist [Frank McKinney Hubbard]
Abe Martin’s Primer (1914)

We’d all like t’vote fer th’best man, but he’s never a candidate.

Kin Hubbard (1868-1930) American caricaturist and humorist [Frank McKinney Hubbard]
Abe Martin’s Primer (1914)

Th’ feller that agrees with ever’thing you say is either a fool er he is gettin’ ready t’skin you.

Kin Hubbard (1868-1930) American caricaturist and humorist [Frank McKinney Hubbard]
Abe Martin’s Sayings and Wisecracks, ch. 1 [ed. D. Hawes (1984)]

Th’ only absolutely safe way t’ double your money is t’ fold it once an’ put it in your hip pocket.

Kin Hubbard (1868-1930) American caricaturist and humorist [Frank McKinney Hubbard]
Abe Martin: Hoss Sense and Nonsense (1926)

Few things make us feel finer than havin’ our judgment vindicated.

Kin Hubbard (1868-1930) American caricaturist and humorist [Frank McKinney Hubbard]
Abe Martin: Hoss Sense and Nonsense (1926)

Boys’ll be boys, an’ so’ll a lot o’ middle-aged men.

Kin Hubbard (1868-1930) American caricaturist and humorist [Frank McKinney Hubbard]
Abe Martin: Hoss Sense and Nonsense (1926)

Nobuddy ever listened t’ reason on a’ empty stomach.

[Nobody ever listened to reason on an empty stomach.]

Kin Hubbard (1868-1930) American caricaturist and humorist [Frank McKinney Hubbard]
Abe Martin: Hoss Sense and Nonsense (1926)

A bad fittin’ suit never wears out.

Kin Hubbard (1868-1930) American caricaturist and humorist [Frank McKinney Hubbard]
Abe Martin’s Almanac for 1909 (1908)
Full text.

When a feller says, “It hain’t th’ money, but th’ principle o’ th’ thing,” it’s th’ money.

[When a fellow says, "It ain't the money, but the principle of the thing," it's the money.]

Kin Hubbard (1868-1930) American caricaturist and humorist [Frank McKinney Hubbard]
Hoss Sense and Nonsense (1926)

Th’ only way t’ entertain some folks is t’ listen t’ em.

Kin Hubbard (1868-1930) American caricaturist and humorist [Frank McKinney Hubbard]
Hoss Sense and Nonsense (1926)

Flattery won’t hurt you if you don’t swallow it.

Kin Hubbard (1868-1930) American caricaturist and humorist [Frank McKinney Hubbard]
Short Furrows (1913)