WIST

If you are not allowed to laugh in heaven, I don’t want to go there.

Martin Luther (1483-1546) German religious reformer
(Attributed)

I would rather be ruled by a wise Turk than a Christian donkey.

Martin Luther (1483-1546) German religious reformer
(Attributed)

Whoever drinks beer, he is quick to sleep; whoever sleeps long, does not sin; whoever does not sin, enters Heaven! Thus, let us drink beer! (There is no beer in heaven, so let us drink it here.)

Martin Luther (1483-1546) German religious reformer
(Attributed)

If I knew the world should go under tomorrow, I would still plant an apple tree today.”

[Und wenn ich wüsste, dass morgen die Welt unterginge, so pflanzte ich heute noch einen Apfelbaum.]

Martin Luther (1483-1546) German religious reformer
(Attributed)
Many alternative translations and paraphrases of this apocryphal statement can be found:

• "Even if I knew that the whole world was going to smash tomorrow, still, I would plant an apple tree today. [Auch wenn ich wüsste, dass morgen die Welt zugrunde geht, würde ich heute noch einen Apfelbaum pflanzen.]"
• "If I knew the world would end tomorrow, I would plant a tree this afternoon."
• "If I knew I was to die tomorrow, I would plant a tree today."

Cannon and fire-arms are cruel and damnable machines. I believe them to have been the direct suggestion of the devil. Against the flying ball, no valour avails; the soldier is dead ‘ere he sees the means of his destruction.

Martin Luther (1483-1546) German religious reformer
Table Talk, # 820 [tr. W. Hazlitt (1848)]

There is no more lovely, friendly and charming relationship, communion or company than a good marriage.

Martin Luther (1483-1546) German religious reformer
Table Talk, #292 (1566) [tr. Hazlitt (1857)]

Whenever the devil harasses you, seek the company of men or drink more, or joke and talk nonsense, or do some other merry thing. Sometimes we must drink more, sport, recreate ourselves, aye, and even sin a little to spite the devil, so that we leave him no place for troubling our consciences with trifles. We are conquered if we try too conscientiously not to sin at all. So when the devil says to you: “Do not drink,” answer him: “I will drink, and right freely, just because you tell me not to.” One must always do what Satan forbids.

Martin Luther (1483-1546) German religious reformer
Letter to Jerome Weller (Jul 1530)

Full text.

Alternate: "We are soon defeated if we try too hard not to sin. So when the devil says ‘Do not drink’ answer him: ‘I shall drink, and right freely, just because you tell me not to!’"

I cannot and will not recant anything, for to go against conscience neither right nor safe. Here Istand. I can do no other, so help me God. Amen.

Martin Luther (1483-1546) German religious reformer
Speech before the Diet of Worms (18 Apr 1521)