If you consult enough experts, you can confirm any opinion.
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“Hiram’s Law,” in Arthur Bloch, comp., Murphy’s Law: Book Three, “Expertsmanship” (1962)
If you consult enough experts, you can confirm any opinion.
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“Hiram’s Law,” in Arthur Bloch, comp., Murphy’s Law: Book Three, “Expertsmanship” (1962)
It is easier to behave your way into a new way of thinking than to think your way into a new way of behaving.
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“Kegley’s Principle of Change”
In J. Peers (ed.) 1,001 Logical Laws (1979)
We’re beggars and blighters and ne’er-do-well cads,
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Drink up, me hearties, yo-ho!
Aye! But we’re loved by our mommies and dads,
Drink up, me hearties, yo-ho!
Yo-ho, yo-ho, a pirate’s life for me!
“Pirates of the Caribbean”
My friends, each of you is a single cell in the great body of the State. And today, that great body has purged itself of parasites. We have triumphed over the unprincipled dissemination of facts. The thugs and wreckers have been cast out. And the poisonous weeds of disinformation have been consigned to the dustbin of history. Let each and every cell rejoice! For today we celebrate the first, glorious anniversary of the Information Purification Directive! We have created, for the first time in all history, a garden of pure ideology, where each worker may bloom secure from the pests of contradictory and confusing truths. Our Unification of Thought is a more powerful weapon than any fleet or army on Earth! We are one people. With one will. One resolve. One cause. Our enemies shall talk themselves to death. And we will bury them with their own confusion! We shall prevail!
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1984 (Apple “Big Brother” commercial, by copy writer Steve Hayden (1983)
I think animal testing is a terrible idea; they get all nervous and give the wrong answers.
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A Bit of Frye and Laurie
Greensleeves was all my joy,
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Greensleeves was my delight,
Greensleeves was my heart of gold,
And who but Lady Greensleeves?
A Handful of Pleasant Delites, “A New Courtly Sonnet of the Lady Greensleeves, to the new tune of ‘Greensleeves’” (1584)
Consequences, schmonsequences! So long as I’m rich!
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Ali Baba Bunny, Chuck Jones (Daffy Duck) (1957)
If it’s stupid but works, it isn’t stupid.
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Amphibious Warfare Review (Spring 1989)
WESLEY: I’m a rogue demon hunter now.
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CORDELIA: What’s a rogue demon?
Angel
The story is told of Picasso that a stranger in a railway carriage accosted him with the challenge, “Why don’t you paint things as they really are.” Picasso demurred, saying that he did not quite understand what the gentleman meant, and the stranger then produced from his wallet a photograph of his wife. “I mean,” he said, “like that. That’s how she is.” Picasso coughed hesitantly and said, “She is rather small, isn’t she. And somewhat flat?”
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Angels Fear, by Gregory and Mary Catherine Bateson
Early to rise, early to bed,
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Makes a man healthy but socially dead.
Animaniacs, The Warner Bros.
BARBARELLA: A good many dramatic situations begin with screaming.
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Barbarella (1968)
Man is made by his belief. As he believes, so he is.
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Bhagavad Gita (500? BC)
If the radiance of a thousand suns
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Were to burst at once into the sky
That would be like the splendor of the Mighty One –
I am become Death,
The shatterer of Worlds.
Bhagavad Gita ch. 11, sec. 12, 32 (500? BC)
Above cited as translation recalled by J. Robert Openheimer during first A-bomb test (16 May 1945) (Current Biography Yearbook, 1964) Swami Nikhilananda (1944) translated as: "If the radiance of a thousand suns were to burst forth at once in the sky, that would be like the splendour of the Mighty One. I am mighty, world-destroying Time …"
For certain is death for the born,
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And certain is birth for the dead;
Therefore over the inevitable
Thou shouldst not grieve.
Bhagavad Gita, Chapter 2, Sec. 27 (500? BC)
ZOE BALL (host): So tell us what this is exactly …
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GUEST: It’s a matchstick model of Cardiff Arms Park.
ZOE BALL: Wow! That’s amazing. What’s it made out of?
GUEST: Er … matchsticks.
Big Breakfast morning show (UK)
Never before have I encountered such corrupt and foul-minded perversity! Have you ever considered a career in the Church?
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Black Adder II
We have left undone those things which we ought to have done, and we have done those things we ought not to have done.
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Book of Common Prayer, “Morning Prayer (General Confession)” (1662)
Prayer is responding to God, by thought and by deeds, with or without words.
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Book of Common Prayer, (Episcopal) Catechism – “What is prayer?” (1979)
Deliver us from the presumption of coming to this Table for solace only, and not for strength; for pardon only, and not for renewal.
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Book of Common Prayer, p. 327, Eucharistic Prayer C (1979)
ANYA: To commemorate a past event, you kill and eat an animal. It’s a ritual sacrifice. With pie.
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Buffy the Vampire Slayer, “Pangs” (19 Oct 1999)
On Thanksgiving. Episode by Jane Espenson. Text/clip.
WILLOW: So, how did it go?
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XANDER: On a scale from one to ten? It sucked.
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
GILES: It’s me, it’s me!
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CORDELIA: How do we know it’s really you and not Zombie Giles?
GILES: Oh, Cordelia, do stop being tiresome.
CORDELIA: That’s him.
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
BUFFY: Yeah, but I thought I saw something … I don’t know, I was really out of it, but —
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CORDELIA: But you do know that you saw Death.
WILLOW: Did it have an hourglass?
BUFFY: Ooh —
XANDER: If he asks you to play chess, don’t even do it. The guy’s like a whiz.
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
MAYOR: I have two words that are going to make all your troubles go away. “Miniature.” “Golf.”
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Buffy the Vampire Slayer
CORDELIA: So does looking at guns make you wanna have sex?
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XANDER: I’m 17. Looking at linoleum makes me wanna have sex.
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
BUFFY: Vampires are creeps.
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GILES: Yes. That’s why one slays them.
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
XANDER: I laugh in the face of danger. Then I hide until it goes away.
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Buffy the Vampire Slayer
BUFFY: So, Giles, got anything that can make this day any worse?
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GILES: How about the end of the world?
BUFFY: Knew I could count on you.
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
FAITH: When I’m fighting, it’s like the whole world goes away. I only know one thing: that I’m gonna win, and they’re gonna lose. I like that feeling.
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BUFFY: Well sure, beats that “dead” feeling you get when they win and you lose.
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
BUFFY: Do you remember that demon that almost got out the night I died?
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WILLOW: Every nightmare I have that doesn’t revolve around academic failure or public nudity is about that thing. In fact, once I dreamt that it attacked me while I was late for a test and naked.
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
SPIKE: Where have you been pet?
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DRUSILLA: I went for a walk. I met an old man. I didn’t like him, he got stuck in my teeth.
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
WILLOW: Ass-kicking always makes a good Plan B.
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Buffy the Vampire Slayer
XANDER: You’re considered somewhat cool.
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OZ: I am?
XANDER: Is it because you always tend to express yourself in short, non-committal sentences?
OZ: Could be.
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
BUFFY: I’m gonna give you all a nice, fun, normal evening if I have to kill every person on the face of the Earth to do it.
Other Authors and Sources
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
STUDENT: Have you accepted Jesus Christ as your personal savior?
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BUFFY: You know I meant to, and then I just got really busy…
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
MAYOR: There’s more than one way to skin a cat. And I happen to know that’s factually true.
Other Authors and Sources
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
MAYOR: Be careful not put someone’s eye out with that thing … until I tell you to.
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Buffy the Vampire Slayer
GILES: I suppose there is a sort of Machiavellian ingenuity to your transgression.
Other Authors and Sources
XANDER: I resent that! Or possibly, thank you.
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
XANDER: You up for a little reconnaissance?
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BUFFY: You mean where we all sculpt and paint and stuff?
XANDER: No, that was the Renaissance.
BUFFY: Oh. I’ve had a really long week.
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
ANYA: Look, I know you find me attractive; I’ve seen you looking at my breasts.
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XANDER: Nothing personal, but when a guy does that, it just means his eyes are open.
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
WILLOW: Well, we try not to get killed. That’s part of our whole mission statement: ‘Don’t get killed.’
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Buffy the Vampire Slayer, “Anne”
SMART GUY 1: The thing that the modern-day pundits fail to realize is that all the socioeconomic and psychological problems inherent in modern society can be solved by the judicious application of way too much beer.
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BUFFY: My mother always said beer is evil.
SMART GUY 1: Evil, good — these are moral absolutes that predate the fermentation of malt and fine hops.
Buffy the Vampire Slayer, “Beer Bad”
XANDER: And was there a lesson in all this, huh? What did we learn about beer?
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BUFFY: Foamy!
XANDER: Good. Just as long as that’s clear.
Buffy the Vampire Slayer, “Beer Bad”
XANDER: Who’s the little fear demon? Come on, who’s the little fear demon?
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GILES: Don’t taunt the fear demon.
XANDER: Why, can he hurt me?
GILES: No. It’s just … tacky.
Buffy the Vampire Slayer, “Fear, Itself”
MAYOR: My god, what a feeling. The power of these creatures. It suffuses my being. I can feel the changes begin. My organs are shifting, merging, making ready for the Ascension. Plus these babies are high in fiber, and what’s the fun of becoming an immortal demon if you’re not regular, am I right?
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Buffy the Vampire Slayer, “Graduation, Part 1″
GILES: I have a friend who’s coming to town, and I’d like us to be alone.
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ANYA: Oh, you mean an orgasm friend?
GILES: Yes, that’s exactly the most appalling thing you could have said.
Buffy the Vampire Slayer, “Hush”
SPIKE: She wouldn’t even kill me. She just left. She didn’t even care enough to cut off my head, or set me on fire. I mean, is that too much to ask? You know? Some little sign that she cared?
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Buffy the Vampire Slayer, “Lover’s Walk”
MAYOR: I swear, I would sell my soul for a decent short game. Of course, it’s a little late for that. I don’t suppose I could offer your soul, huh? Really help me on the green.
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Buffy the Vampire Slayer, “Lover’s Walk”
WILLOW: Doesn’t it make you wonder what else is there, right under our feet?
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BUFFY: Mostly, I’ve just found sewers full of demons.
Buffy the Vampire Slayer, “Pangs”
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