WIST

In any collection of data, the figure most obviously correct, beyond all need of checking, is the mistake.

Other Authors and Sources
“Finagle’s Third Law”
In Arthur Bloch, Murphy's Law: And Other Reasons Why Things Go gnorW, "Murphology" (1979)

If you consult enough experts, you can confirm any opinion.

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“Hiram’s Law”
In Arthur Bloch, comp., Murphy's Law: Book Three, "Expertsmanship" (1962)

It is easier to behave your way into a new way of thinking than to think your way into a new way of behaving.

Other Authors and Sources
“Kegley’s Principle of Change”
In J. Peers (ed.) 1,001 Logical Laws (1979)

If anything can go wrong, it will.

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“Murphy’s Law” (1949)

Direct variants:

• "Anything that can go wrong, will go wrong." 
• "Everything that can possibly go wrong will go wrong."

The history behind Murphy's Law -- and its very similar antecedents -- is long and disputed, unsurprising given its simple sentiments. It is most often attributed (via the name) to Capt. Edward Murphy, a development engineer working on rapid deceleration g-force tests, and first named as such by Dr. John Stapp, a US Air Force colonel and Flight Surgeon overseeing the project. See Wikipedia for a summary, and AIR for more information.

We’re beggars and blighters and ne’er-do-well cads,
Drink up, me hearties, yo-ho!
Aye! But we’re loved by our mommies and dads,
Drink up, me hearties, yo-ho!
Yo-ho, yo-ho, a pirate’s life for me!

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“Pirates of the Caribbean”

Sometimes it is too late to win. But it’s never too late to lose.

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“Warson’s Truth” (Tom Warson)

My friends, each of you is a single cell in the great body of the State. And today, that great body has purged itself of parasites. We have triumphed over the unprincipled dissemination of facts. The thugs and wreckers have been cast out. And the poisonous weeds of disinformation have been consigned to the dustbin of history. Let each and every cell rejoice! For today we celebrate the first, glorious anniversary of the Information Purification Directive! We have created, for the first time in all history, a garden of pure ideology, where each worker may bloom secure from the pests of contradictory and confusing truths. Our Unification of Thought is a more powerful weapon than any fleet or army on Earth! We are one people. With one will. One resolve. One cause. Our enemies shall talk themselves to death. And we will bury them with their own confusion! We shall prevail!

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1984 (Apple “Big Brother” commercial, by copy writer Steve Hayden (1983)

I think animal testing is a terrible idea; they get all nervous and give the wrong answers.

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A Bit of Frye and Laurie

Greensleeves was all my joy,
Greensleeves was my delight,
Greensleeves was my heart of gold,
And who but Lady Greensleeves?

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A Handful of Pleasant Delites, “A New Courtly Sonnet of the Lady Greensleeves, to the new tune of ‘Greensleeves’” (1584)

Consequences, schmonsequences! So long as I’m rich!

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Ali Baba Bunny, Chuck Jones (Daffy Duck) (1957)

If it’s stupid but works, it isn’t stupid.

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Amphibious Warfare Review (Spring 1989)

WESLEY: I’m a rogue demon hunter now.
CORDELIA: What’s a rogue demon?

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Angel

The story is told of Picasso that a stranger in a railway carriage accosted him with the challenge, “Why don’t you paint things as they really are.” Picasso demurred, saying that he did not quite understand what the gentleman meant, and the stranger then produced from his wallet a photograph of his wife. “I mean,” he said, “like that. That’s how she is.” Picasso coughed hesitantly and said, “She is rather small, isn’t she. And somewhat flat?”

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Angels Fear, by Gregory and Mary Catherine Bateson

Early to rise, early to bed,
Makes a man healthy but socially dead.

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Animaniacs, The Warner Bros.

BARBARELLA: A good many dramatic situations begin with screaming.

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Barbarella (1968)

Man is made by his belief. As he believes, so he is.

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Bhagavad Gita (500? BC)

If the radiance of a thousand suns
Were to burst at once into the sky
That would be like the splendor of the Mighty One –
I am become Death,
The shatterer of Worlds.

Other Authors and Sources
Bhagavad Gita ch. 11, sec. 12, 32 (500? BC)
Above cited as translation recalled by J. Robert Openheimer during first A-bomb test (16 May 1945) (Current Biography Yearbook, 1964) Swami Nikhilananda (1944) translated as: "If the radiance of a thousand suns were to burst forth at once in the sky, that would be like the splendour of the Mighty One. I am mighty, world-destroying Time …"

For certain is death for the born,
And certain is birth for the dead;
Therefore over the inevitable
Thou shouldst not grieve.

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Bhagavad Gita, Chapter 2, Sec. 27 (500? BC)

ZOE BALL (host): So tell us what this is exactly …
GUEST: It’s a matchstick model of Cardiff Arms Park.
ZOE BALL: Wow! That’s amazing. What’s it made out of?
GUEST: Er … matchsticks.

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Big Breakfast morning show (UK)

Never before have I encountered such corrupt and foul-minded perversity! Have you ever considered a career in the Church?

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Black Adder II

We have left undone those things which we ought to have done, and we have done those things we ought not to have done.

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Book of Common Prayer, “Morning Prayer (General Confession)” (1662)

Prayer is responding to God, by thought and by deeds, with or without words.

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Book of Common Prayer, (Episcopal) Catechism – “What is prayer?” (1979)

Deliver us from the presumption of coming to this Table for solace only, and not for strength; for pardon only, and not for renewal.

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Book of Common Prayer, p. 327, Eucharistic Prayer C (1979)

ANYA: To commemorate a past event, you kill and eat an animal. It’s a ritual sacrifice. With pie.

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Buffy the Vampire Slayer, “Pangs” (19 Oct 1999)
On Thanksgiving. Episode by Jane Espenson. Text/clip.

WILLOW: So, how did it go?
XANDER: On a scale from one to ten? It sucked.

Other Authors and Sources
Buffy the Vampire Slayer

GILES: It’s me, it’s me!
CORDELIA: How do we know it’s really you and not Zombie Giles?
GILES: Oh, Cordelia, do stop being tiresome.
CORDELIA: That’s him.

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Buffy the Vampire Slayer

BUFFY: Yeah, but I thought I saw something … I don’t know, I was really out of it, but —
CORDELIA: But you do know that you saw Death.
WILLOW: Did it have an hourglass?
BUFFY: Ooh —
XANDER: If he asks you to play chess, don’t even do it. The guy’s like a whiz.

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Buffy the Vampire Slayer

MAYOR: I have two words that are going to make all your troubles go away. “Miniature.” “Golf.”

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Buffy the Vampire Slayer

CORDELIA: So does looking at guns make you wanna have sex?
XANDER: I’m 17. Looking at linoleum makes me wanna have sex.

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Buffy the Vampire Slayer

BUFFY: Vampires are creeps.
GILES: Yes. That’s why one slays them.

Other Authors and Sources
Buffy the Vampire Slayer