WIST

Some mornings, it’s just not worth chewing through the leather straps.

Emo Philips (contemp.) American comedian [b. Phil Soltanec]
(Attributed)

Capital punishment turns the state into a murderer. But imprisonment turns the state into a gay dungeon-master.

Emo Philips (contemp.) American comedian [b. Phil Soltanec]
(Attributed)
at the Montreal Comedy Festival

I read somewhere that 77 per cent of all the mentally ill live in poverty. Actually, I’m more intrigued by the 23 per cent who are apparently doing quite well for themselves.

Emo Philips (contemp.) American comedian [b. Phil Soltanec]
(Attributed)
at the Montreal Comedy Festival

I used to think that the brain was the most wonderful organ in my body. Then I realized who was telling me this.

Emo Philips (contemp.) American comedian [b. Phil Soltanec]
(Attributed)

And always remember the last words of my Grandfather, who said, “A truck …!”

Emo Philips (contemp.) American comedian [b. Phil Soltanec]
(Attributed)

I used to think that the brain was the most wonderful organ in my body. Then I realized who was telling me this.

Emo Philips (contemp.) American comedian [b. Phil Soltanec]
(Attributed)