WIST

A dog will stay stupid. That’s why we love them so much. The entire time we know them, they’re idiots. Think of your dog. Every time you come home, he thinks it’s amazing. He has no idea how you accomplish this every day. You walk in the door, the joy of this experience overwhelms him. He looks at you, “He’s back, it’s that guy, that same guy.” He can’t believe it. Everything is amazing to your dog. “Another can of food? I don’t believe it.”

Jerry Seinfeld (b. 1955) American comedian

There’s very little advice in men’s magazines, because men don’t think there’s a lot they don’t know. Women do. Women want to learn. Men think, “I know what I’m doing, just show me somebody naked.”

Jerry Seinfeld (b. 1955) American comedian
(Attributed)

Sometimes the road less traveled is less traveled for a reason.

Jerry Seinfeld (b. 1955) American comedian
(Attributed)

Where lipstick is concerned, the important thing is not color, but to accept God’s final word on where your lips end.

Jerry Seinfeld (b. 1955) American comedian
(Attributed)

Looking at cleavage is like looking at the sun. You don’t stare at it. It’s too risky. You get a sense of it and then you look away.

Jerry Seinfeld (b. 1955) American comedian
(Attributed)

Men want the same thing from their underwear that they want from women: a little bit of support, and a little bit of freedom.

Jerry Seinfeld (b. 1955) American comedian
(Attributed)