I am quite sure that (bar one) I have no race prejudice, and I think I have no color prejudices, nor caste prejudices. Indeed, I know it. I can stand any society. All I care to know is that a man is a human being — that is enough for me; he can’t be any worse.
Mark Twain (1835-1910) American writer [pseud. of Samuel Clemens]
“Concerning the Jews,” Harper’s (Sep 1899)
It was against my principles, but I find that principles have no real force except when one is well-fed.
Mark Twain (1835-1910) American writer [pseud. of Samuel Clemens]
“Extracts from Adam’s Diary” (1904)
Each of you, for himself, by himself and on his own responsibility, must speak. And it is a solemn and weighty responsibility, and not lightly to be flung aside at the bullying of pulpit, press, government, or the empty catch-phrases of politicians. Each must for himself alone decide what is right and what is wrong, and which course is patriotic and which isn’t. You cannot shirk this and be a man. To decide it against your convictions is to be an unqualified and inexcusable traitor, both to yourself and to your country, let men label you as they may. If you alone of all the nation shall decide one way, and that way be the right way according to your convictions of the right, you have done your duty by yourself and by your country — hold up your head! You have nothing to be ashamed of.
Mark Twain (1835-1910) American writer [pseud. of Samuel Clemens]
“Papers of the Adams Family”
But banish care, it’s no time for it now — on with the dance, let joy be unconfined is my motto, whether there’s any dance to dance or any joy to unconfine ….
Mark Twain (1835-1910) American writer [pseud. of Samuel Clemens]
“The American Claimant,” ch. 2 (1892)
Your race, in its poverty, has unquestionably one really effective weapon — laughter. Power, Money, Persuasion, Supplication, Persecution — these can lift at a colossal humbug, — push it a little — crowd it a little — weaken it a little, century by century: but only Laughter can blow it to rags and atoms at a blast. Against the assault of Laughter nothing can stand.
Mark Twain (1835-1910) American writer [pseud. of Samuel Clemens]
“The Chronicle of Young Satan” (c.1897–1900, unfinished)
Usually paraphrased as: "The human race has one really effective weapon, and that is laughter."
The modern patriotism, the true patriotism, the only rational patriotism is loyalty to the nation all the time, loyalty to the government when it deserves it.
Mark Twain (1835-1910) American writer [pseud. of Samuel Clemens]
“The Czar’s Soliloquy,” North American Review (Mar 1905)
Laws are sand, customs are rock. Laws can be evaded and punishment escaped, but an openly transgressed custom brings sure punishment.
Mark Twain (1835-1910) American writer [pseud. of Samuel Clemens]
“The Gorky Incident” (1906)
When you have prayed for victory you have prayed for many unmentioned results which follow victory — must follow it, cannot help but follow it. Upon the listening spirit of God the Father fell also the unspoken part of the prayer. He commandeth me to put it into words. Listen!
“O Lord our Father, our young patriots, idols of our hearts, go forth to battle — be Thou near them! With them — in spirit — we also go forth from the sweet peace of our beloved firesides to smite the foe. O Lord our God, help us to tear their soldiers to bloody shreds with our shells; help us to cover their smiling fields with the pale forms of their patriot dead; help us to drown the thunder of the guns with the shrieks of their wounded, writhing in pain; help us to lay waste their humble homes with a hurricane of fire; help us to wring the hearts of their unoffending widows with unavailing grief; help us to turn them out roofless with their little children to wander unfriended the wastes of their desolated land in rags and hunger and thirst, sports of the sun flames of summer and the icy winds of winter, broken in spirit, worn with travail, imploring Thee for the refuge of the grave and denied it — for our sakes who adore Thee, Lord, blast their hopes, blight their lives, protract their bitter pilgrimage, make heavy their steps, water their way with their tears, stain the white snow with the blood of their wounded feet! We ask it, in the spirit of love, of Him Who is the Source of Love, and Who is the ever-faithful refuge and friend of all that are sore beset and seek His aid with humble and contrite hearts. Amen.”
Mark Twain (1835-1910) American writer [pseud. of Samuel Clemens]
“The War Prayer” (1904–1905)
Each nation knowing it has the only true religion and the only sane system of government, each despising all the others, each an ass and not suspecting it.
Mark Twain (1835-1910) American writer [pseud. of Samuel Clemens]
“What Is Man?” (1906)
Full text.
I have seen several entirely sincere people who thought they were (permanent) Seekers after Truth. They sought diligently, persistently, carefully, cautiously, profoundly, with perfect honesty and nicely adjusted judgment — until they believed that without doubt or question they had found the Truth.
That was the end of the search. The man spent the rest of his life hunting up shingles wherewith to protect his Truth from the weather. If he was seeking after political Truth he found it in one or another of the hundred political gospels which govern men in the earth; if he was seeking after the Only True Religion he found it in one or another of the three thousand that are on the market. In any case, when he found the Truth he sought no further; but from that day forth, with his soldering-iron in one hand and his bludgeon in the other he tinkered its leaks and reasoned with objectors.
Mark Twain (1835-1910) American writer [pseud. of Samuel Clemens]
“What is Man?” (1906)
Humor is the great thing, the saving thing. The minute it crops up, all our irritations and resentments slip away and a sunny spirit takes their place.
Mark Twain (1835-1910) American writer [pseud. of Samuel Clemens]
“What Paul Bourget Thinks of Us?” (1899)
full text
The trouble ain’t that there is too many fools, but that the lightning ain’t distributed right.
Mark Twain (1835-1910) American writer [pseud. of Samuel Clemens]
(Attribited)
You can’t reason someone out of something they weren’t reasoned into.
Mark Twain (1835-1910) American writer [pseud. of Samuel Clemens]
(Attributed)
The conviction of the rich that the poor are happier is no more foolish than the conviction of the poor that the rich are.
Mark Twain (1835-1910) American writer [pseud. of Samuel Clemens]
(Attributed)
Clothes make the man. Naked people have little or no influence on society.
Mark Twain (1835-1910) American writer [pseud. of Samuel Clemens]
(Attributed)
First found in Merle Johnson, More Maxims of Mark (1927), and generally considered authentic. More info here.
I thoroughly disapprove of duels. If a man should challenge me, I would take him kindly and forgivingly by the hand and lead him to a quiet place and kill him.
Mark Twain (1835-1910) American writer [pseud. of Samuel Clemens]
(Attributed)
I could never learn to like her, except on a raft at sea with no other provisions in sight.
Mark Twain (1835-1910) American writer [pseud. of Samuel Clemens]
(Attributed)
Sometimes I wonder whether the world is being run by smart people who are putting us on or by imbeciles who really mean it.
Mark Twain (1835-1910) American writer [pseud. of Samuel Clemens]
(Attributed)
There ain’t no surer way to find out whether you like people or hate them than to travel with them.
Mark Twain (1835-1910) American writer [pseud. of Samuel Clemens]
(Attributed)
When one remembers that we are all mad, the mysteries disappear and life stands explained.
Mark Twain (1835-1910) American writer [pseud. of Samuel Clemens]
(Attributed)
Worrying about something is like paying interest on a debt you don’t even know if you owe.
Mark Twain (1835-1910) American writer [pseud. of Samuel Clemens]
(Attributed)
He liked to like people, therefore people liked him.
Mark Twain (1835-1910) American writer [pseud. of Samuel Clemens]
(Attributed)
From his cradle to his grave a man never does a single thing which has any FIRST AND FOREMOST object but one — to secure peace of mind, spiritual comfort, for HIMSELF.
Mark Twain (1835-1910) American writer [pseud. of Samuel Clemens]
(Attributed)
It is my heart-warm and world-embracing Christmas hope and aspiration that all of us, the high, the low, the rich, the poor, the admired, the despised, the loved, the hated, the civilized, the savage, may eventually be gathered together in a heaven of everlasting rest and peace and bliss, except the inventor of the telephone.
Mark Twain (1835-1910) American writer [pseud. of Samuel Clemens]
(Attributed)
Get the facts first. You can distort them later.
Mark Twain (1835-1910) American writer [pseud. of Samuel Clemens]
(Attributed)
Virtue has never been as respectable as money.
Mark Twain (1835-1910) American writer [pseud. of Samuel Clemens]
(Attributed)
We recognize that there are no trivial occurrences in life if we get the right focus on them.
Mark Twain (1835-1910) American writer [pseud. of Samuel Clemens]
(Attributed)
I didn’t attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it.
Mark Twain (1835-1910) American writer [pseud. of Samuel Clemens]
(Attributed)
It is curious that physical courage should be so common in the world, and moral courage so rare.
Mark Twain (1835-1910) American writer [pseud. of Samuel Clemens]
(Attributed)
In Mark Twain in Eruption: Hitherto Unpublished Pages About Men and Events, ed. Bernard DeVoto (1940)
It ain’t those parts of the Bible that I can’t understand that bother me, it is the parts that I do understand.
Mark Twain (1835-1910) American writer [pseud. of Samuel Clemens]
(Attributed)
Censorship is telling a man he can’t eat steak because a baby can’t chew it.
Mark Twain (1835-1910) American writer [pseud. of Samuel Clemens]
(Attributed)
Unsourced in Twain's writings.
Substitute “damn” every time you’re inclined to write “very”; your editor will delete it and the writing will be just as it should be.
Mark Twain (1835-1910) American writer [pseud. of Samuel Clemens]
(Attributed)
The man who does not read good books has no advantage over the man who can’t read them.
Mark Twain (1835-1910) American writer [pseud. of Samuel Clemens]
(Spurious)
The secret of getting ahead is getting started. The secret of getting started is breaking your complex overwhelming tasks into small manageable tasks, and then starting on the first one.
Mark Twain (1835-1910) American writer [pseud. of Samuel Clemens]
(Spurious)
When I was a boy of 14, my father was so ignorant I could hardly stand to have the old man around. But when I got to be 21, I was astonished at how much the old man had learned in seven years.
Mark Twain (1835-1910) American writer [pseud. of Samuel Clemens]
(Spurious)
Not found in Twain's writing. He was 11 when his father died.
Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn’t do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover.
Mark Twain (1835-1910) American writer [pseud. of Samuel Clemens]
(Spurious)
A common "inspirational" quote, frequently attributed to Twain, but not found in writings. Earliest found is in H. Jackson Brown, P.S. I Love You (1990), attributed to Brown's mother. More info here.
A person who won’t read has no advantage over one who can’t read.
Mark Twain (1835-1910) American writer [pseud. of Samuel Clemens]
(Spurious)
First attributed to Twain in 1945, but not found in his works. Earliest appearances of the quote date back to 1910, but are unattributed. Abigail Van Buren (Dear Abby) is often given attribution, but she didn't say it until 1966. See for more information.
Variants:
- "Who can see the barely perceptible line between the man who can not read at all and the man who does not read at all? The literate who can, but does not, read, and the illiterate who neither does nor can? [Original form.]
- "The person who does not read has no advantage over the person who cannot read." [Dear Abby, 19 Oct 1966]
- "The man who doesn’t read good books has no advantage over the man who can’t read them."
The church is always trying to get other people to reform; it might not be a bad idea to reform itself a little, by way of example.
Mark Twain (1835-1910) American writer [pseud. of Samuel Clemens]
A Tramp Abroad (1880)
Life does not consist mainly — or even largely — of facts and happenings. It consists mainly of the storm of thoughts that is forever blowing through one’s head.
Mark Twain (1835-1910) American writer [pseud. of Samuel Clemens]
Autobiography, Part 1, sec. 28 “New York, January 10, 1906″ (2003)
Full text.
When I, a thoughtful and unblessed Presbyterian, examine the Koran, I know that beyond any question every Mohammedan is insane; not in all things, but in religious matters. When a thoughtful and unblessed Mohammedan examines the Westminster Catechism, he knows that beyond any question I am spiritually insane. I cannot prove to him that he is insane, because you never can prove anything to a lunatic — for that is a part of his insanity and the evidence of it. He cannot prove to me that I am insane, for my mind has the same defect that afflicts his. All Democrats are insane, but not one of them knows it; none but the Republicans and Mugwumps know it. All the Republicans are insane, but only the Democrats and Mugwumps can perceive it. The rule is perfect: in all matters of opinion our adversaries are insane.
Mark Twain (1835-1910) American writer [pseud. of Samuel Clemens]
Christian Science, ch. 5 (1907)
(Source)
Often misattributed to Oscar Wilde.
Don’t part with your illusions. When they are gone you may still exist, but you have ceased to live.
Mark Twain (1835-1910) American writer [pseud. of Samuel Clemens]
Following the Equator (1897)
We despise all reverences and all objects of reverence which are outside the pale of our list of sacred things. And yet, with strange inconsistency, we are shocked when other people despise and defile the things which are holy to us.
Mark Twain (1835-1910) American writer [pseud. of Samuel Clemens]
Following the Equator (1897)
There are many humorous things in the world, among them the white man’s notion that he is less savage than the other savages.
Mark Twain (1835-1910) American writer [pseud. of Samuel Clemens]
Following the Equator (1897)
There are several good protections against temptations, but the surest is cowardice.
Mark Twain (1835-1910) American writer [pseud. of Samuel Clemens]
Following the Equator (1897)
We should be careful to get out of an experience only the wisdom that is in it — and stop there; lest we be like the cat that sits down on a hot stove-lid. She will never sit down on a hot stove-lid again — and that is well; but also she will never sit down on a cold one anymore.
Mark Twain (1835-1910) American writer [pseud. of Samuel Clemens]
Following the Equator, ch. 11 (1897)
Truth is stranger than fiction, but it is because fiction is obliged to stick to possibilities, truth isn’t.
Mark Twain (1835-1910) American writer [pseud. of Samuel Clemens]
Following the Equator, ch. 15 (1897)
Sometimes given, "Why shouldn't truth be stranger than fiction? Fiction, after all, has to make sense."
Man will do many things to get himself loved; he will do all things to get himself envied.
Mark Twain (1835-1910) American writer [pseud. of Samuel Clemens]
Following the Equator, ch. 21, epigraph (1897)
In the first place, God made idiots. That was for practice. Then he made school boards.
Mark Twain (1835-1910) American writer [pseud. of Samuel Clemens]
Following the Equator, ch. 25 (1898)
Let us be thankful for fools. But for them the rest of us could not succeed.
Mark Twain (1835-1910) American writer [pseud. of Samuel Clemens]
Following the Equator, ch. 28 (1897)
A man with a new idea is a Crank until the idea succeeds.
Mark Twain (1835-1910) American writer [pseud. of Samuel Clemens]
Following the Equator, ch. 32, epigraph (1897)
By trying we can easily learn to endure adversity. Another man’s, I mean.
Mark Twain (1835-1910) American writer [pseud. of Samuel Clemens]
Following the Equator, ch. 39, epigraph (1897)
Few of us can stand prosperity. Another man’s, I mean.
Mark Twain (1835-1910) American writer [pseud. of Samuel Clemens]
Following the Equator, ch. 40, epigraph (1897)
Grief can take care of itself, but to get the full value of a joy you must have somebody to divide it with.
Mark Twain (1835-1910) American writer [pseud. of Samuel Clemens]
Following the Equator, ch. 48 (Epigraph) (1897)
Wrinkles should merely indicate where the smiles have been.
Mark Twain (1835-1910) American writer [pseud. of Samuel Clemens]
Following the Equator, ch. 52, epigraph (1897)
Do something every day that you don’t want to do; this is the golden rule for acquiring the habit of doing your duty without pain.
Mark Twain (1835-1910) American writer [pseud. of Samuel Clemens]
Following the Equator, ch. 58 (1897)
Everyone is a moon and has a dark side which he never shows to anybody.
Mark Twain (1835-1910) American writer [pseud. of Samuel Clemens]
Following the Equator, ch. 66 (1897)
full text
To be good is noble; but to show others how to be good is nobler and no trouble.
Mark Twain (1835-1910) American writer [pseud. of Samuel Clemens]
Following the Equator, Preface (1897)
No sinner is ever saved after the first twenty minutes of a sermon.
Mark Twain (1835-1910) American writer [pseud. of Samuel Clemens]
Hannibal Courier-Post (6 Mar 1835)
Man is the religious animal. He is the only religious animal. He is the only animal that has the True Religion — several of them. He is the only animal that loves his neighbor as himself and cuts his throat, if his theology isn’t straight. He has made a graveyard of the globe in trying his honest best to smooth his brother’s path to happiness and heaven.
Mark Twain (1835-1910) American writer [pseud. of Samuel Clemens]
Letters from Earth (1939)
I was gratified to be able to answer promptly, and I did. I said I didn’t know.
Mark Twain (1835-1910) American writer [pseud. of Samuel Clemens]
Life on the Mississippi, ch. 6 (1883)
Everybody’s private motto: It’s better to be popular than right.
Mark Twain (1835-1910) American writer [pseud. of Samuel Clemens]
Mark Twain’s Notebook (1902)
Comment on an unlined sheet his papers.
There are many scapegoats for our blunders, but the most popular one is Providence.
Mark Twain (1835-1910) American writer [pseud. of Samuel Clemens]
Mark Twain’s Notebook (4 Jul 1898) [ed. A. Paine (1935)]
Good breeding consists in concealing how much we think of ourselves and how little we think of the other person.
Mark Twain (1835-1910) American writer [pseud. of Samuel Clemens]
Mark Twain’s Notebook [ed. A. Paine (1935)]
Each race determines for itself what indecencies are. Nature knows no indecencies; Man invents them.
Mark Twain (1835-1910) American writer [pseud. of Samuel Clemens]
Mark Twain’s Notebook [ed. A. Paine (1935)]
Love seems the swiftest, but it is the slowest of all growths. No man or woman really knows what perfect love is until they have been married a quarter of a century.
Mark Twain (1835-1910) American writer [pseud. of Samuel Clemens]
Mark Twain’s Notebook [ed. A. Paine (1935)]
The first thing I want to teach is disloyalty. … This will beget independence — which is loyalty to one’s best self and principles, and this is often disloyalty to the general idols and fetishes.
Mark Twain (1835-1910) American writer [pseud. of Samuel Clemens]
Mark Twain’s Notebook [ed. A. Paine (1935)]
The human race consists of the damned and the ought-to-be-damned.
Mark Twain (1835-1910) American writer [pseud. of Samuel Clemens]
Mark Twain’s Notebook [ed. A. Paine] (1935)]
Fame is a vapor; popularity, an accident; the only earthly certainty is oblivion.
Mark Twain (1835-1910) American writer [pseud. of Samuel Clemens]
Mark Twain’s Notebook, 1869 [ed. A. Paine (1935)]
Religion consists in a set of things which the average man thinks he believes and wishes he was certain of.
Mark Twain (1835-1910) American writer [pseud. of Samuel Clemens]
Mark Twain’s Notebook, 1879 [ed. A. Paine (1935)]
The radical of one century is the conservative of the next. The radical invents the views. When he has worn them out, the conservative adopts them.
Mark Twain (1835-1910) American writer [pseud. of Samuel Clemens]
Mark Twain’s Notebook, 1898 [ed. A. Paine (1935)]
Familiarity breeds contempt — and children.
Mark Twain (1835-1910) American writer [pseud. of Samuel Clemens]
Mark Twain’s Notebook, 2 Feb 1894 [ed. A. Paine (1935)]
There is no sadder sight than a young pessimist, except an old optimist.
Mark Twain (1835-1910) American writer [pseud. of Samuel Clemens]
Mark Twain’s Notebook, 22 Dec 1903 [ed. A. Paine (1935)]
Man was made at the end of the week’s work, when God was tired.
Mark Twain (1835-1910) American writer [pseud. of Samuel Clemens]
Mark Twain’s Notebook, 23 May 1903 [ed. Paine (1935)]
Education consists mainly in what we have unlearned.
Mark Twain (1835-1910) American writer [pseud. of Samuel Clemens]
Mark Twain’s Notebook, 4 Jul 1898 [ed. A. Paine (1935)]
The best way to cheer yourself up is to try to cheer somebody else up.
Mark Twain (1835-1910) American writer [pseud. of Samuel Clemens]
Mark Twain’s Notebook [ed. A. Paine (1935)]
Whenever you find yourself on the side of the majority, it is time to pause and reflect.
Mark Twain (1835-1910) American writer [pseud. of Samuel Clemens]
Mark Twain’s Notebook [ed. A. Paine (1935)]
Also given as "... time to reform."
The right word may be effective, but no word was ever as effective as a rightly timed pause.
Mark Twain (1835-1910) American writer [pseud. of Samuel Clemens]
Mark Twain’s Speeches, Introduction [ed W.D. Howells (1923 ed.)]
Always acknowledge a fault. This will throw those in authority off their guard and give you an opportunity to commit more.
Mark Twain (1835-1910) American writer [pseud. of Samuel Clemens]
More Maxims of Mark [ed. M. Johnson (1925)]
Each must for himself alone decide what is right and what is wrong, and which course is patriotic and which isn’t. You cannot shirk this and be a man. To decide against your convictions is to be an unqualified and inexcusable traitor, both to yourself and to your country, let men label you as they may. If you alone of all the nation shall decide one way, and that way be the right way according to your convictions of the right, you have done your duty by yourself and by your country — hold up your head! You have nothing to be ashamed of.
Mark Twain (1835-1910) American writer [pseud. of Samuel Clemens]
Papers of the Adams Family, Part 6 “Two Fragments from a Suppressed Book Called ‘Glances at History’ or ‘Outlines of History’” (1939)
Against our traditions we are now entering upon an unjust and trivial war, a war against a helpless people, and for a base object — robbery. At first our citizens spoke out against this thing, by an impulse natural to their training. Today they have turned, and their voice is the other way. What caused the change? Merely a politician’s trick — a high-sounding phrase, a blood-stirring phrase which turned their uncritical heads: Our Country, right or wrong! An empty phrase, a silly phrase. It was shouted by every newspaper, it was thundered from the pulpit, the Superintendent of Public Instruction placarded it in every schoolhouse in the land, the War Department inscribed it upon the flag. And every man who failed to shout it or who was silent, was proclaimed a traitor — none but those others were patriots. To be a patriot, one had to say, and keep on saying, “Our Country, right or wrong,” and urge on the little war. Have you not perceived that that phrase is an insult to the nation?
Mark Twain (1835-1910) American writer [pseud. of Samuel Clemens]
Papers of the Adams Family, Part 6 “Two Fragments from a Suppressed Book Called ‘Glances at History’ or ‘Outlines of History’” (1939)
For in a republic, who is “the Country”? Is it the Government which is for the moment in the saddle? Why, the Government is merely a servant — merely a temporary servant; it cannot be its prerogative to determine what is right and what is wrong, and decide who is a patriot and who isn’t. Its function is to obey orders, not originate them. Who, then, is “the country?” Is it the newspaper? Is it the pulpit? Is it the school-superintendent? Why, these are mere parts of the country, not the whole of it; they have not command, they have only their little share in the command. They are but one in the thousand; it is in the thousand that command is lodged; they must determine what is right and what is wrong; they must decide who is a patriot and who isn’t.
Mark Twain (1835-1910) American writer [pseud. of Samuel Clemens]
Papers of the Adams Family, Part 6 “Two Fragments from a Suppressed Book Called ‘Glances at History’ or ‘Outlines of History’” (1939)
The holy passion of friendship is so sweet and steady and loyal and enduring in nature that it will last through a whole lifetime, if not asked to lend money.
Mark Twain (1835-1910) American writer [pseud. of Samuel Clemens]
Pudd’nhead Wilson’s Calendar (1894)
Courage is resistance to fear, mastery fo fear — not absence of fear. Except a creature be part coward it is not a compliment to say it is brave; it is merely a loose application of the word.
Mark Twain (1835-1910) American writer [pseud. of Samuel Clemens]
Pudd’nhead Wilson, ch. 12 (1894)
That is just the way with some people. They get down on a thing when they don’t know nothing about it.
Mark Twain (1835-1910) American writer [pseud. of Samuel Clemens]
The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn, ch. 1 (1884)
Hain’t we got all the fools in town on our side? And ain’t that a big enough majority in any town?
Mark Twain (1835-1910) American writer [pseud. of Samuel Clemens]
The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn, ch. 26 (1884)
He had discovered a great law of human action, without knowing it — namely, that in order to make a man or a boy covet a thing, it is only necessary to make the thing difficult to attain. If he had been a great and wise philosopher, like the writer of this book, he would now have comprehended that Work consists of whatever a body is obliged to do, and that Play consists of whatever a body is not obliged to do. And this would help him to understand why constructing artificial flowers or performing on a tread-mill is work, while rolling ten-pins or climbing Mont Blanc is only amusement.
Mark Twain (1835-1910) American writer [pseud. of Samuel Clemens]
The Adventures of Tom Sawyer, ch. 2 (1876)
Often, the less there is to justify a traditional custom, the harder it is to get rid of it.
Mark Twain (1835-1910) American writer [pseud. of Samuel Clemens]
The Adventures of Tom Sawyer, ch. 5 (1876)
Travel is fatal to prejudice, bigotry, and narrow-mindedness, and many of our people need it sorely on these accounts.
Mark Twain (1835-1910) American writer [pseud. of Samuel Clemens]
The Innocents Abroad, Conclusion (1869)
Your [human] race, in its poverty, has unquestionably one really effective weapon — laughter. Power, money, persuasion, supplication, persecution — these can lift at a colossal humbug, push it a little, weaken it a little, century by century; but only laughter can blow it to rags and atoms at a blast. Against the assault of laughter nothing can stand. You are always fussing and fighting with your other weapons. Do you ever use that one? No; you leave it lying rusting. As a race, do you ever use it at all? No; you lack sense and the courage.
Mark Twain (1835-1910) American writer [pseud. of Samuel Clemens]
The Mysterious Stranger [Satan] (1916)
Few things are harder to put up with than a good example.
Mark Twain (1835-1910) American writer [pseud. of Samuel Clemens]
The Tragedy of Pudd’n'head Wilson (1894)
One of the most striking differences between a cat and a lie is that a cat has only nine lives.
Mark Twain (1835-1910) American writer [pseud. of Samuel Clemens]
The Tragedy of Pudd’n'head Wilson (1894)
Courage is resistance to fear, mastery of fear — not absence of fear. Except a creature be part coward it is not a compliment to say it is brave.
Mark Twain (1835-1910) American writer [pseud. of Samuel Clemens]
The Tragedy of Pudd’n'head Wilson, ch. 12, epigraph (1894)
Few things are harder to put up with than the annoyance of a good example.
Mark Twain (1835-1910) American writer [pseud. of Samuel Clemens]
The Tragedy of Pudd’n'head Wilson, ch. 19, epigraph (1894)
Let us so live that when we come to die even the undertaker will be sorry.
Mark Twain (1835-1910) American writer [pseud. of Samuel Clemens]
The Tragedy of Pudd’n'head Wilson, ch. 6 (1894)
Sometimes given: "Let us endeavor so to live that ..."
It is not best that we should all think alike; it is differences of opinion that make horse races.
Mark Twain (1835-1910) American writer [pseud. of Samuel Clemens]
The Tragedy of Pudd’nhead Wilson, ch. 19, epigraph (1894)
But, on the other hand, Uncle Abner said that the person that had took a bull by the tail once had learnt sixty or seventy times as much as a person that hadn’t, and said a person that started in to carry a cat home by the tail was gitting knowledge that was always going to be useful to him, and warn’t ever going to grow dim or doubtful.
Mark Twain (1835-1910) American writer [pseud. of Samuel Clemens]
Tom Sawyer Abroad (1894)
Full text.
Variants sometimes seen:
- The man who sets out to carry a cat by its tail learns something that will always be useful and which never will grow dim or doubtful.
- A man who carries a cat by the tail learns something he can learn in no other way.
A man cannot be comfortable without his own approval.
Mark Twain (1835-1910) American writer [pseud. of Samuel Clemens]
What Is Man? (1906)
Each nation, knowing it has the only true religion and the only sane system of government, each despising all the others, each an ass and not suspecting it.
Mark Twain (1835-1910) American writer [pseud. of Samuel Clemens]
What Is Man? ch. 6 (1906)
It may be called the Master Passion, the hunger for self approval.
Mark Twain (1835-1910) American writer [pseud. of Samuel Clemens]
What Is Man?, ch. 6 (1906)
It is curious — curious that physical courage should be so common in the world and moral courage so rare.
Mark Twain (1835-1910) American writer [pseud. of Samuel Clemens]
Autobiographical dictation (15 Jan 1907)
Full text.
Death, the only immortal who treats us all alike, whose pity and whose peace and whose refuge are for all — the soiled and the pure, the rich and the poor, the loved and the unloved.
Mark Twain (1835-1910) American writer [pseud. of Samuel Clemens]
Last written statement
Recorded by A. Paine, Mark Twain: A Biography, Vol III, Part 2, ch. 293 (1912); Paine was Twain's literary executor. Full text.
A baby is an inestimable blessing and bother.
Mark Twain (1835-1910) American writer [pseud. of Samuel Clemens]
Letter to Annie Webster (1 Sep 1876)
How often we recall, with regret, that Napoleon once shot at a magazine editor and missed him and killed a publisher. But we remember, with charity, that his intentions were good.
Mark Twain (1835-1910) American writer [pseud. of Samuel Clemens]
Letter to Henry Alden (11 Nov 1906)
A man’s private thought can never be a lie; what he thinks, is to him the truth, always.
Mark Twain (1835-1910) American writer [pseud. of Samuel Clemens]
Letter to Louis Pendleton (4 Aug 1888)
The dog is a gentleman; I hope to go to his heaven, not man’s.
Mark Twain (1835-1910) American writer [pseud. of Samuel Clemens]
Letter to W.D. Howells (2 Apr 1899)
They do say that when a man starts down hill everybody is ready to help him with a kick, and I suppose it is so.
Mark Twain (1835-1910) American writer [pseud. of Samuel Clemens]
Letter, San Francisco Alta California (15 Mar 1867)
Loyalty to petrified opinions never yet broke a chain or freed a human soul in this world — and never will.
Mark Twain (1835-1910) American writer [pseud. of Samuel Clemens]
Paper delivered in Hartford (1884)
First part (to "soul") engraved on Twain's bust in the National Hall of Fame, New York University.
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