WIST

Trouble will come soon enough, and when he does come, receive him as pleasantly as possible. Like the tax collector, he is a disagreeable chap to have in one’s house, but the more amiably you greet him the sooner he will go away.

Artemus Ward (1834-1867) American humorist, editor, lecturer [pseud. of Charles Farrar Browne]
(Attributed)

“Thrice is he armed that hath his quarrel just” –
And four times he who gets his fist in fust.

Artemus Ward (1834-1867) American humorist, editor, lecturer [pseud. of Charles Farrar Browne]
Shakespeare Up-to-Date
Also attributed to Josh Billings in Josh Billings: His Sayings (1865).