WIST

I have a theory that all traffic lights are secretly synchronized — you just have to drive fast enough. Testing this theory has lead me to develop a second theory: Most police officers are NOT men of science.

Paul Wiley (contemp.)
(Attributed)

I wish I were telepathic. Not just to read people’s minds, which would be cool, but to cut down on my cellular phone bill.

Paul Wiley (contemp.)
(Attributed)