WIST

In relativity theory, space and time are the same thing. Einstein discovered this when he kept showing up three miles late for his meetings.

Steven Wright (b. 1955) Canadian-American humorist
(Attributed)

Last night I played a blank tape at full blast. The mime next door went nuts.

Steven Wright (b. 1955) Canadian-American humorist
(Attributed)

Tell a man that there are 400 billion stars and he’ll believe you. Tell him a bench has wet paint and he has to touch it.

Steven Wright (b. 1955) Canadian-American humorist
(Attributed)

Factorials were somebody’s attempt to make math look exciting.

Steven Wright (b. 1955) Canadian-American humorist
(Attributed)

Last night I stayed up late playing poker with Tarot cards. I got a full house and four people died.

Steven Wright (b. 1955) Canadian-American humorist
(Attributed)