WIST Quotations

Fields, W. C. -- (Attributed)

Dave — Sun, 01 Feb 2004 16:00:00 +0000

Always carry a flagon of whiskey in case of snakebite; and furthermore, always carry a small snake.

W. C. Fields (1880-1946) American entertainer [b. William Claude Dukenfield]
(Attributed)

Fields, W. C. -- (Attributed)

Dave — Sun, 01 Feb 2004 16:00:00 +0000

Everybody should believe in something. I believe I’ll have another drink.

W. C. Fields (1880-1946) American entertainer [b. William Claude Dukenfield]
(Attributed)

Fields, W. C. -- (Attributed)

Dave — Sun, 01 Feb 2004 16:00:00 +0000

Madam, there’s no such thing as a tough child — if you parboil them first for seven hours, they always come out tender.

W. C. Fields (1880-1946) American entertainer [b. William Claude Dukenfield]
(Attributed)

Fields, W. C. -- (Attributed)

Dave — Tue, 12 Apr 2016 20:09:37 +0000

Happiness means quiet nerves.

W. C. Fields (1880-1946) American entertainer [b. William Claude Dukenfield]
(Attributed)

Quoted in Robert Lewis Taylor, W.C. Fields, His Follies and Fortunes (1949).

Fields, W. C. -- (Attributed)

Dave — Thu, 08 Jun 2023 17:24:41 +0000

When life hands you lemons, make whiskey sours.

W. C. Fields (1880-1946) American entertainer [b. William Claude Dukenfield]
(Attributed)

While attributed to Fields, possibly on a radio show, there is no documentation to indicate he ever actually said it.

More exploration of other references: The Big Apple: “When life gives you lemons, make a whiskey sour. For God’s sake, we’re adults now, people”.

Fields, W. C. -- Comment to Gene Fowler

Dave — Tue, 21 Sep 2021 16:13:44 +0000

Hell, I never vote for anybody. I always vote against.

W. C. Fields (1880-1946) American entertainer [b. William Claude Dukenfield]
Comment to Gene Fowler
(Source)

Quoted in Robert Lewis Taylor, W. C. Fields, ch. 25 (1949). See also Adams.

More discussion about the origins of this quotation: I Never Vote For Anybody. I Always Vote Against – Quote Investigator.