WIST Quotations

Lebowitz, Fran -- “Children: Pro or Con,” Metropolitan Life (1978)

Dave — Wed, 24 Apr 2024 20:30:56 +0000

Even when freshly washed and relieved of all obvious confections, children tend to be sticky.

Fran Lebowitz (b. 1950) American journalist, essayist
“Children: Pro or Con,” Metropolitan Life (1978)
(Source)

Lebowitz, Fran -- “Children: Pro or Con,” Metropolitan Life (1978)

Dave — Wed, 16 Mar 2016 13:31:52 +0000

Notoriously insensitive to subtle shifts in mood, children will persist in discussing the color of a recently sighted cement-mixer long after one’s interest in the topic has waned.

Fran Lebowitz (b. 1950) American journalist, essayist
“Children: Pro or Con,” Metropolitan Life (1978)
(Source)

Lebowitz, Fran -- “Children: Pro or Con,” Metropolitan Life (1978)

Dave — Wed, 15 May 2024 14:13:26 +0000

Children ask better questions than do adults. “May I have a cookie?” “Why is the sky blue?” and “What does a cow say?” are far more likely to elicit a cheerful response than “Where is your manuscript?” “Why haven’t you called?” and “Who’s your lawyer?”

Fran Lebowitz (b. 1950) American journalist, essayist
“Children: Pro or Con,” Metropolitan Life (1978)
(Source)

Lebowitz, Fran -- “Mars: Living in a Small Way,” Metropolitan Life (1974)

Dave — Wed, 02 Oct 2013 12:54:46 +0000

Life is something to do when you can’t get to sleep.

Fran Lebowitz (b. 1950) American journalist, essayist
“Mars: Living in a Small Way,” Metropolitan Life (1974)

Lebowitz, Fran -- “Things,” Social Studies (1981)

Dave — Thu, 29 Jun 2023 19:10:53 +0000

Now, nature, as I am only too well aware, has her enthusiasts, but on the whole, I am not to be counted among them. To put it rather bluntly, I am not the type who wants to go back to the land; I am the type who wants to go back to the hotel.

Fran Lebowitz (b. 1950) American journalist, essayist
“Things,” Social Studies (1981)
(Source)

Lebowitz, Fran -- “Tips for Teens,” Social Studies (1981)

Dave — Wed, 04 Dec 2013 13:49:48 +0000

Remember that as a teenager you are at the last stage in your life when you will be happy to hear that the phone is for you.

Fran Lebowitz (b. 1950) American journalist, essayist
“Tips for Teens,” Social Studies (1981)
(Source)

Lebowitz, Fran -- “Tips for Teens,” Social Studies (1981)

Dave — Wed, 11 Dec 2013 16:09:26 +0000

Think before you speak. Read before you think. This will give you something to think about that you didn’t make up yourself — a wise move at any age, but most especially at seventeen, when you are in the greatest danger of coming to annoying conclusions.

Fran Lebowitz (b. 1950) American journalist, essayist
“Tips for Teens,” Social Studies (1981)
(Source)

Lebowitz, Fran -- “Tips for Teens,” Social Studies (1981)

Dave — Thu, 01 Feb 2024 20:52:05 +0000

If you reside in a state where you attain your legal majority while still in your teens, pretend that you don’t. There isn’t an adult alive who would want to be contractually bound by a decision he came to at the age of nineteen.

Fran Lebowitz (b. 1950) American journalist, essayist
“Tips for Teens,” Social Studies (1981)
(Source)

Lebowitz, Fran -- (Attributed)

Dave — Sun, 01 Feb 2004 16:00:00 +0000

If your sexual fantasies were truly of interest to others, they would no longer be fantasies.

Fran Lebowitz (b. 1950) American journalist, essayist
(Attributed)

Lebowitz, Fran -- (Attributed)

Dave — Sun, 01 Feb 2004 16:00:00 +0000

Romantic love is mental illness. But it’s a pleasurable one. It’s a drug. It distorts reality, and that’s the point of it. It would be impossible to fall in love with someone that you really saw.

Fran Lebowitz (b. 1950) American journalist, essayist
(Attributed)

Lebowitz, Fran -- Metropolitan Life (1978)

Dave — Sun, 01 Feb 2004 16:00:00 +0000

When dealing with a concept such as “important”, one would be well advised to ask: “To whom?”

Fran Lebowitz (b. 1950) American journalist, essayist
Metropolitan Life (1978)

Lebowitz, Fran -- Metropolitan Life, “A World View” (1974)

Dave — Wed, 16 Oct 2013 12:28:16 +0000

Rome is a very loony city in every respect. One needs but spend an hour or two there to realize that Fellini makes documentaries.

Fran Lebowitz (b. 1950) American journalist, essayist
Metropolitan Life, “A World View” (1974)

Lebowitz, Fran -- Metropolitan Life, “Manners” (1978)

Dave — Mon, 08 May 2017 21:34:01 +0000

All of God’s children are not beautiful. Most of God’s children are, in fact, barely presentable.

Fran Lebowitz (b. 1950) American journalist, essayist
Metropolitan Life, “Manners” (1978)
(Source)

Lebowitz, Fran -- Metropolitan Life, “Manners” (1978)

Dave — Mon, 15 May 2017 15:04:04 +0000

There is no such thing as inner peace. There is only nervousness or death.

Fran Lebowitz (b. 1950) American journalist, essayist
Metropolitan Life, “Manners” (1978)
(Source)

Lebowitz, Fran -- Social Studies (1981)

Dave — Wed, 06 Nov 2013 13:49:10 +0000

In the Soviet Union, capitalism triumphed over communism. In this country, capitalism triumphed over democracy.

Fran Lebowitz (b. 1950) American journalist, essayist
Social Studies (1981)

Lebowitz, Fran -- Social Studies, “Parental Guidance” (1981)

Dave — Wed, 23 Oct 2013 12:47:53 +0000

Ask your child what he wants for dinner only if he’s buying.

Fran Lebowitz (b. 1950) American journalist, essayist
Social Studies, “Parental Guidance” (1981)

Lebowitz, Fran -- Social Studies, “Parental Guidance” (1981)

Dave — Mon, 22 May 2017 16:08:43 +0000

Your responsibility as a parent is not as great as you might imagine. You need not supply the world with the next conqueror of disease or a major movie star. If your child simply grows up to be someone who does not use the word “collectible” as a noun, you can consider yourself an unqualified success.

Fran Lebowitz (b. 1950) American journalist, essayist
Social Studies, “Parental Guidance” (1981)

Lebowitz, Fran -- Social Studies, “Parental Guidance” (1981)

Dave — Thu, 29 Feb 2024 16:54:23 +0000

Your responsibility as a parent is not as great as you might imagine. You need not supply the world with the next conqueror of disease or major motion-picture star. If your child simply grows up to be someone who does not use the word “collectible” as a noun, you can consider yourself an unqualified success.

Fran Lebowitz (b. 1950) American journalist, essayist
Social Studies, “Parental Guidance” (1981)
(Source)

Lebowitz, Fran -- Social Studies, “Parental Guidance” (1981)

Dave — Thu, 28 Mar 2024 18:51:59 +0000

Do not, on a rainy day, ask your child what he feels like doing, because I assure you that what he feels like doing, you won’t feel like watching.

Fran Lebowitz (b. 1950) American journalist, essayist
Social Studies, “Parental Guidance” (1981)
(Source)

Lebowitz, Fran -- Social Studies, “Parental Guidance” (1981)

Dave — Mon, 09 Sep 2024 17:50:33 +0000

Do not allow your children to mix drinks. It is unseemly and they use too much vermouth.

Fran Lebowitz (b. 1950) American journalist, essayist
Social Studies, “Parental Guidance” (1981)
(Source)

Lebowitz, Fran -- Interview (2021-02-17), BBC Newsnight

Dave — Tue, 20 Jan 2026 19:23:04 +0000

Being offended is a natural consequence of leaving the house.

Fran Lebowitz (b. 1950) American journalist, essayist
Interview (2021-02-17), BBC Newsnight

(Source (Video), at the 1:23 mark)

Lebowitz, Fran -- Interview by Susannah McNeely, Ruminator Magazine (2005-08/09)

Dave — Thu, 14 Dec 2023 16:05:06 +0000

Should novels generally be 600 pages? No, they should not. Half of writing, maybe 3/4 of writing, is editing. This seems to be a thing that has not gotten through to them. It’s my impression that you could get rid of half of most of these books. These people are not good enough to be this long, but they’re apparently also not good enough to be shorter.

Fran Lebowitz (b. 1950) American journalist, essayist
Interview by Susannah McNeely, Ruminator Magazine (2005-08/09)

Lebowitz, Fran -- Interview with James Atlas, “What They Look Like to the Rest of Us,” New York Times Magazine (19 Nov 1995)

Dave — Thu, 22 Aug 2013 14:45:48 +0000

Money also buys privacy, silence. The less money you have, the noisier it is; the thinner your walls, the closer your neighbors. I’m obsessed with noise — I can’t write when it’s noisy, I can’t sleep when it’s noisy. The first thing you notice when you step into the house or apartment of a rich person is how quiet it is.

Fran Lebowitz (b. 1950) American journalist, essayist
Interview with James Atlas, “What They Look Like to the Rest of Us,” New York Times Magazine (19 Nov 1995)
(Source)

Lebowitz, Fran -- Interview with James Atlas, “What They Look Like to the Rest of Us,” New York Times Magazine (19 Nov 1995)

Dave — Wed, 25 Sep 2013 13:46:29 +0000

Another difference between rich people and poor people is that rich people can have what they want, whereas we usually can’t. When I was a kid growing up in New Jersey, we’d come into New York and go to F.A.O. Schwarz. I must have been 14 years old before I realized that F.A.O. Schwarz wasn’t a museum. I was once in a museum with a rich man who after about 20 minutes said he wanted to leave because it was too irritating to see things that he couldn’t buy. To us the world is a museum; to them it’s a store.

Fran Lebowitz (b. 1950) American journalist, essayist
Interview with James Atlas, “What They Look Like to the Rest of Us,” New York Times Magazine (19 Nov 1995)
(Source)

Lebowitz, Fran -- Interview with James Atlas, “What They Look Like to the Rest of Us,” New York Times Magazine (19 Nov 1995)

Dave — Wed, 09 Oct 2013 12:17:09 +0000

They don’t talk about money — at least not more than anyone else. What they really talk about is work. The thing about rich people who’ve made it themselves is that they work more than anyone else I know. They work almost all the time. And they talk about their work, because that’s what they do all the time. The average person doesn’t want to work on weekends; the average person doesn’t want to work after work. People who make a lot of money work at 2 o’clock in the morning.

Fran Lebowitz (b. 1950) American journalist, essayist
Interview with James Atlas, “What They Look Like to the Rest of Us,” New York Times Magazine (19 Nov 1995)
(Source)

On what the rich talk about.

Lebowitz, Fran -- Interview with James Atlas, “What They Look Like to the Rest of Us,” New York Times Magazine (19 Nov 1995)

Dave — Wed, 30 Oct 2013 13:48:11 +0000

The rich are abstractly interesting to me because they are the only examples of unfettered human nature. In other words, rich people can do more of what they want than anyone else. A rich person behaves well because he’s a well-behaved person. Everyone else behaves well — at least to some people — because they have to: they have a boss. Being poor is like being a child. Being rich is like being an adult: you get to do whatever you want. Everyone is nice when they have to be; rich people are nice when they feel like it.

Fran Lebowitz (b. 1950) American journalist, essayist
Interview with James Atlas, “What They Look Like to the Rest of Us,” New York Times Magazine (19 Nov 1995)
(Source)

Lebowitz, Fran -- Interview with James Atlas, “What They Look Like to the Rest of Us,” New York Times Magazine (19 Nov 1995)

Dave — Wed, 13 Nov 2013 13:48:11 +0000

There are certain men you could put in the middle of the jungle, and they would come out with a million dollars. It’s an aptitude. It’s a kind of combination of character and personality. If I think of a few guys who made a lot of money, if they lost all their money they would make it again. They are moneymakers. They are abstract thinkers. They’re not held back by being interested in real life. I came out of a movie once with a man who’s made a lot of money, and I said, “You know what’s wrong with that movie?” And he said: “Sure, I know what’s wrong with that movie. That movie cost $22 million. For $22 million I could buy an office building in Chicago.” I think that sums it up.

Fran Lebowitz (b. 1950) American journalist, essayist
Interview with James Atlas, “What They Look Like to the Rest of Us,” New York Times Magazine (19 Nov 1995)
(Source)

Lebowitz, Fran -- Interview with Susannah McNeely, Ruminator (Aug/Sep 2005)

Dave — Wed, 20 Nov 2013 17:10:38 +0000

People have become so rigid; their opinions seem to them like themselves. When that happens (and it has happened) people can’t change their minds. If you are identified by your opinions — if that is the very basis of yourself — how can you change your mind?

Fran Lebowitz (b. 1950) American journalist, essayist
Interview with Susannah McNeely, Ruminator (Aug/Sep 2005)

Lebowitz, Fran -- Panel Discussion (1993-05-24), “Fame in the 20th Century,” Clive James (moderator), Joseph Papp Public Theater, New York City

Dave — Tue, 05 Aug 2014 13:09:21 +0000

The best fame is a writer’s fame. It’s enough to get a table at a good restaurant, but not enough that you get interrupted when you eat.

Fran Lebowitz (b. 1950) American journalist, essayist
Panel Discussion (1993-05-24), “Fame in the 20th Century,” Clive James (moderator), Joseph Papp Public Theater, New York City
(Source)

Reported in William Grimes, "The New Fame, or, How a Nobody Can Be Somebody," New York Times (1993-05-26).