WIST Quotations

Nash, Ogden -- “A Drink with Something In It,” The Primrose Path (1935)

Dave — Fri, 17 Nov 2017 18:46:04 +0000

There is something about a Martini,
A tingle remarkably pleasant;
A yellow, a mellow Martini;
I wish I had one at present.
There is something about a Martini,
Ere the dining and dancing begin,
And to tell you the truth,
It is not the vermouth —
I think that perhaps it’s the gin.

Ogden Nash (1902-1971) American poet
“A Drink with Something In It,” The Primrose Path (1935)
(Source)

Nash, Ogden -- “A Word to Husbands,” Marriage Lines: Notes of a Student Husband (1964)

Dave — Fri, 14 Feb 2014 14:05:46 +0000

To keep your marriage brimming,
With love in the loving cup,
Whenever you’re wrong, admit it;
Whenever you’re right, shut up.

Ogden Nash (1902-1971) American poet
“A Word to Husbands,” Marriage Lines: Notes of a Student Husband (1964)
(Source)

Nash, Ogden -- “Baby, What Makes the Sky Blue?” ll. 1-2, New Yorker (1940-01-20)

Dave — Fri, 26 Oct 2007 10:10:02 +0000

Oh, what a tangled web do parents weave
When they think that their children are naive.

Ogden Nash (1902-1971) American poet
“Baby, What Makes the Sky Blue?” ll. 1-2, New Yorker (1940-01-20)
(Source)

Collected in his The Face Is Familiar (1941).

Nash, Ogden -- “Bankers Are Just Like Anybody Else, Except Richer,” New Yorker (7 Dec 1935)

Dave — Fri, 25 Sep 2020 15:55:26 +0000

Most bankers dwell in marble halls,

Which they get to dwell in because they encourage deposits and discourage withdrawals,

And particularly because they all observe one rule which woe betides the banker who fails to heed it,

Which is you must never lend any money to anybody unless they don’t need it.

Ogden Nash (1902-1971) American poet
“Bankers Are Just Like Anybody Else, Except Richer,” New Yorker (7 Dec 1935)
(Source)

Nash, Ogden -- “Birthday on the Beach,” You Can’t Get There from Here (1957)

Dave — Thu, 27 Oct 2011 14:45:56 +0000

At another year
I would not boggle,
Except when I jog
I joggle.

Ogden Nash (1902-1971) American poet
“Birthday on the Beach,” You Can’t Get There from Here (1957)

Nash, Ogden -- “Children’s Party,” Many Long Years Ago (1945)

Dave — Fri, 16 Oct 2020 14:49:33 +0000

Oh, progeny playing by itself
Is a lonely little elf,
But progeny in roistering batches
Would drive St. Francis from here to Natchez.

Ogden Nash (1902-1971) American poet
“Children’s Party,” Many Long Years Ago (1945)
(Source)

Nash, Ogden -- “Children’s Party,” ll. 1-2, Many Long Years Ago (1945)

Dave — Tue, 28 May 2024 15:47:31 +0000

May I join you in the doghouse, Rover?
I wish to retire till the party’s over.

Ogden Nash (1902-1971) American poet
“Children’s Party,” ll. 1-2, Many Long Years Ago (1945)
(Source)

Nash, Ogden -- “Crossing the Border”

Dave — Thu, 23 May 2013 14:51:56 +0000

Senescence begins
And middle age ends
The day your descendents
Outnumber your friends.

Ogden Nash (1902-1971) American poet
“Crossing the Border”

Nash, Ogden -- “Everybody Tells Me Everything,” The Face Is Familiar (1940)

Dave — Fri, 24 Jul 2020 14:48:13 +0000

I find it very difficult to enthuse

Over the current news.

Just when you think that at least the outlook is so black that it can grow no blacker, it worsens,

And that is why I do not like the news, because there has never been an era when so many things were going so right for so many of the wrong persons.

Ogden Nash (1902-1971) American poet
“Everybody Tells Me Everything,” The Face Is Familiar (1940)
(Source)

Nash, Ogden -- “First Child … Second Child,” Versus (1949)

Dave — Fri, 23 Oct 2020 14:29:59 +0000

FIRST …
Let the rockets flash and the cannon thunder,
This child is a marvel, a matchless wonder.
A staggering child, a child astounding,
Dazzling, diaperless, dumbfounding,
Stupendous, miraculous, unsurpassed,
A child to stagger and flabbergast,
Bright as a button, sharp as a thorn,
And the only perfect one ever born.

SECOND
Arrived this evening at half-past nine.
Everybody is doing fine.
Is it a boy, or quite the reverse?
You can call in the morning and ask the nurse.

Ogden Nash (1902-1971) American poet
“First Child … Second Child,” Versus (1949)
(Source)

Nash, Ogden -- “Good-bye, Old Year, You Oaf, or Why Don’t They Pay the Bonus?” (1935)

Dave — Fri, 10 Jul 2020 17:44:49 +0000

Man is a victim of dope
In the incurable form of hope.

Ogden Nash (1902-1971) American poet
“Good-bye, Old Year, You Oaf, or Why Don’t They Pay the Bonus?” (1935)
(Source)

Nash, Ogden -- “Good-bye, Old Year, You Oaf, or Why Don’t They Pay the Bonus?” (1935)

Dave — Fri, 17 Jul 2020 15:33:25 +0000

Every New Year is the direct descendant, isn’t it, of a long line of proven criminals?

Ogden Nash (1902-1971) American poet
“Good-bye, Old Year, You Oaf, or Why Don’t They Pay the Bonus?” (1935)
(Source)

Nash, Ogden -- “I Have It On Good Authority,” New York American (3 Sep 1935)

Dave — Fri, 02 Oct 2020 18:42:48 +0000

Another good thing about gossip is that it is within everybody’s reach,

And it is much more interesting than any other form of speech,

Because suppose you eschew gossip and just say

Mr. Smith is in love with his wife.

Why that disposes the Smiths as a topic of conversation for the rest of their life,

But suppose you say with a smile, that poor little Mrs. Smith thinks her husband is in love with her, he must be very clever,

Why then you can enjoyably talk about the Smiths forever.

Ogden Nash (1902-1971) American poet
“I Have It On Good Authority,” New York American (3 Sep 1935)
(Source)

Nash, Ogden -- “Inter-Office Memorandum,” I’m a Stranger Here Myself (1938)

Dave — Tue, 27 Dec 2022 21:41:09 +0000

There is only one way to achieve happiness on this terrestrial ball,
And that is to have either a clear conscience, or none at all.

Ogden Nash (1902-1971) American poet
“Inter-Office Memorandum,” I’m a Stranger Here Myself (1938)
(Source)

Nash, Ogden -- “Invocation,” New Yorker (Jan 1930)

Dave — Fri, 18 Sep 2020 18:28:28 +0000

Senator Smoot is an institute
Not to be bribed with pelf;
He guards our homes from erotic tomes
By reading them all himself.

Ogden Nash (1902-1971) American poet
“Invocation,” New Yorker (Jan 1930)
(Source)

Nash's poem was about US Senator Reed Smoot (R-Utah) (1862-1941), who had announced an effort in his tariff bill to ban the importation of pornography, leading to headlines of "Smoot Smites Smut." The bill went on to become the Smoot-Hawley Tariff, passed in June 1930.

Nash, Ogden -- “My Dream” (1954), You Can’t Get There from Here (1957)

Dave — Fri, 07 Aug 2020 20:56:22 +0000

Here is a dream.
It is my dream,
My own dream,
I dreamt it.
I dreamt that my hair was kempt,
Then I dreamt that my true love unkempt it.

Ogden Nash (1902-1971) American poet
“My Dream” (1954), You Can’t Get There from Here (1957)
(Source)

Nash, Ogden -- “Portrait of the Artist as a Prematurely Old Man”

Dave — Sat, 15 Aug 2020 01:01:25 +0000

It is common knowledge to every schoolboy and even every Bachelor of Arts,

That all sin is divided into two parts.

One kind of sin is called a sin of commission, and that is very important

And it is what you are doing when you are doing something you ortant.

And the other kind of sin is just the opposite and is called a sin of omission and is equally bad in the eyes of all right-thinking people, from Billy Sunday to Buddha,

And it consists of not having done something you shudda.

Ogden Nash (1902-1971) American poet
“Portrait of the Artist as a Prematurely Old Man”
(Source)

Nash, Ogden -- “Portrait of the Artist as a Prematurely Old Man” (1959)

Dave — Fri, 28 Aug 2020 17:30:16 +0000

The moral is that it is probably better not to sin at all, but if
some kind of sin you must be pursuing,

Well, remember to do it by doing rather than by not doing.

Ogden Nash (1902-1971) American poet
“Portrait of the Artist as a Prematurely Old Man” (1959)
(Source)

Nash, Ogden -- “Reflections on Ingenuity,” Many Long Years Ago (1945)

Dave — Fri, 10 Apr 2009 14:37:22 +0000

Here is a good rule of thumb:
Too clever is dumb.

Ogden Nash (1902-1971) American poet
“Reflections on Ingenuity,” Many Long Years Ago (1945)
(Source)

Nash, Ogden -- “Requiem” (1938)

Dave — Wed, 12 Apr 2017 13:56:28 +0000

There was a young belle of old Natchez
Whose garments were always in patchez.
When comment arose
On the state of her clothes,
She drawled, When Ah itchez, Ah scratchez.

Ogden Nash (1902-1971) American poet
“Requiem” (1938)

Nash, Ogden -- “Seeing Eye to Eye is Believing,” Good Intentions (1942)

Dave — Fri, 29 May 2020 22:17:31 +0000

And I have no desire to get ugly,

But I cannot help mentioning that the door of a bigoted mind opens outwards so that the only result of the pressure of facts upon it is to close it more snugly.

Ogden Nash (1902-1971) American poet
“Seeing Eye to Eye is Believing,” Good Intentions (1942)
(Source)

Nash, Ogden -- “Seeing Eye to Eye is Believing,” Good Intentions (1942)

Dave — Fri, 19 Jun 2020 18:51:22 +0000

When people reject a truth or an untruth it is not because it is a truth or an untruth that they reject it,

No, if it isn’t in accord with their beliefs in the first place they simply say, “Nothing doing,” and refuse to inspect it.

Likewise when they embrace a truth or an untruth it is not for either its truth or its mendacity,

But simply because they have believed it all along and therefore regard the embrace as a tribute to their own fair-mindedness and sagacity.

Ogden Nash (1902-1971) American poet
“Seeing Eye to Eye is Believing,” Good Intentions (1942)
(Source)

Nash, Ogden -- “Seeing Eye to Eye is Believing,” Good Intentions (1942)

Dave — Fri, 26 Jun 2020 16:46:23 +0000

Everybody has something about which they are proud to be broad-minded but they also have other things about which you would be wasting your breath if you tried to convince them that they were a bigot.

Ogden Nash (1902-1971) American poet
“Seeing Eye to Eye is Believing,” Good Intentions (1942)
(Source)

Nash, Ogden -- “Seeing Eye to Eye is Believing,” Good Intentions (1942)

Dave — Fri, 03 Jul 2020 22:13:34 +0000

Naturally I am not pointing a finger at me,

But I must admit that I find Mr. Ickes or any other speaker far more convincing when I agree with him than when I disagree.

Ogden Nash (1902-1971) American poet
“Seeing Eye to Eye is Believing,” Good Intentions (1942)
(Source)

Nash, Ogden -- “Soliloquy in Circles,” New Yorker (27 Mar 1948)

Dave — Fri, 30 Oct 2020 15:38:34 +0000

Being a father
Is quite a bother,
But I like it, rather.

Ogden Nash (1902-1971) American poet
“Soliloquy in Circles,” New Yorker (27 Mar 1948)
(Source)

Reprinted in Versus (1949).

Nash, Ogden -- “Tarkington, Thou Should’st Be Living in This Hour,” Versus (1939)

Dave — Sat, 25 Jan 2025 00:25:11 +0000

O Adolescence, O Adolescence
I wince before thine incandescence.
Thy constitution, young and hearty
Is too much for this aged party.

Ogden Nash (1902-1971) American poet
“Tarkington, Thou Should’st Be Living in This Hour,” Versus (1939)
(Source)

Nash, Ogden -- “The Grackle”

Dave — Mon, 02 Mar 2015 13:32:44 +0000

The grackle’s voice is less than mellow,
His heart is black, his eye is yellow,
He bullies more attractive birds
With hoodlum deeds and vulgar words,
And should a human interfere,
Attacks that human in the rear.
I cannot help but deem the grackle
An ornithological debacle.

Ogden Nash (1902-1971) American poet
“The Grackle”

Nash, Ogden -- “The Hippopotamus”

Dave — Fri, 11 Sep 2020 18:31:40 +0000

Behold the hippopotamus!
We laugh at how he looks to us,
And yet in moments dank and grim,
I wonder how we look to him.

Ogden Nash (1902-1971) American poet
“The Hippopotamus”
(Source)

Nash, Ogden -- “The Parent,” Happy Days (1933)

Dave — Sun, 01 Feb 2004 16:00:00 +0000

Children aren’t happy with nothing to ignore,
And that’s what parents were created for.

Ogden Nash (1902-1971) American poet
“The Parent,” Happy Days (1933)
(Source)

Nash, Ogden -- “The Politician,” st. 2, I’m a Stranger Here Myself (1938)

Dave — Mon, 10 Jun 2024 14:26:01 +0000

Whether elected or appointed
He considers himself the Lord’s anointed,
And indeed the ointment lingers on him
So thick you can’t get your fingers on him.

Ogden Nash (1902-1971) American poet
“The Politician,” st. 2, I’m a Stranger Here Myself (1938)
(Source)

Nash, Ogden -- “The Purist”

Dave — Thu, 25 Aug 2016 04:59:35 +0000

I give you now Professor Twist,
A conscientious scientist.
Trustees exclaimed, “He never bungles!”
And sent him off to distant jungles.
Camped on a tropic riverside,
One day he missed his loving bride.
She had, the guide informed him later,
Been eaten by an alligator.
Professor Twist could not but smile.
“You mean,” he said, “a crocodile.”

Ogden Nash (1902-1971) American poet
“The Purist”

Nash, Ogden -- “The Terrible People,” New Yorker (11 Feb 1933)

Dave — Fri, 09 Oct 2020 18:20:30 +0000

Perhaps indeed the possession of wealth is constantly distressing,

But I should be quite willing to assume every curse of wealth if I could at the same time assume every blessing.

The only incurable troubles of the rich are the troubles that money can’t cure,

Which is a kind of trouble that is even more troublesome if you are poor.

Certainly there are lots of things in life that money won’t buy, but it’s very funny —

Have you ever tried to buy them without money?

Ogden Nash (1902-1971) American poet
“The Terrible People,” New Yorker (11 Feb 1933)
(Source)

Reprinted in Many Long Years Ago (1945).

Nash, Ogden -- “What I Know About Life,” New Yorker (15 Jan 1949)

Dave — Fri, 06 Nov 2020 19:48:58 +0000

Life has a tendency to obfuscate and bewilder,

Such as fating us to spend the first part of our lives being embarrassed by our parents and the last part being embarrassed by our childer.

Ogden Nash (1902-1971) American poet
“What I Know About Life,” New Yorker (15 Jan 1949)
(Source)

Reprinted in Versus (1949)

Nash, Ogden -- (Attributed)

Dave — Mon, 17 Dec 2007 10:42:41 +0000

I would live all my life in nonchalance and insouciance
Were it not for making a living, which is rather a nouciance.

Ogden Nash (1902-1971) American poet
(Attributed)

Quoted in Reader’s Digest (Jun 1967)

Nash, Ogden -- Hard Lines, “Reflections on Ice-Breaking” (1931)

Dave — Tue, 18 Nov 2008 09:31:54 +0000

Candy
Is dandy
But liquor
Is quicker.

Ogden Nash (1902-1971) American poet
Hard Lines, “Reflections on Ice-Breaking” (1931)

Nash, Ogden -- Commencement address at his daughter Linell’s boarding school

Dave — Fri, 04 Sep 2020 16:35:19 +0000

Among other things I think humor is a shield, a weapon, a survival kit. Not only has this brief span of ours been threatened by such perils not of our making such as fire and flood, Tyrannosaurus Rex, the black death, and hurricanes named after chorus girls, but we have been most ingenious in devising means for destroying each other, a habit we haven’t yet learned how to kick.

So here we are several billion of us, crowded into our global concentration camp for the duration. How are we to survive? Solemnity is not the answer, any more than witless and irresponsible frivolity is. I think our best chance lies in humor, which in this case means a wry acceptance of our predicament. We don’t have to like it but we can at least recognize its ridiculous aspects, one of which is ourselves.

Ogden Nash (1902-1971) American poet
Commencement address at his daughter Linell’s boarding school
(Source)

Quoted in Douglas M. Parker, Dana Giaoia, Ogden Nash: The Life and Work of America's Laureate of Light (2005).

Nash, Ogden -- In The Selected Verse of Ogden Nash (1945)

Dave — Fri, 01 Jul 2016 17:53:25 +0000

He without benefit of scruples
His fun and money soon quadruples.

Ogden Nash (1902-1971) American poet
In The Selected Verse of Ogden Nash (1945)

Nash, Ogden -- Poem (1930-12-27), “More About People,” The New Yorker

Dave — Mon, 21 Apr 2025 18:43:19 +0000

If you don’t want to work, you have to work to earn enough money so that you won’t have to work.

Ogden Nash (1902-1971) American poet
Poem (1930-12-27), “More About People,” The New Yorker
(Source)

Collected in Many Long Years Ago (1945).