WIST Quotations

Parker, Dorothy -- ‘A Pig’s-Eye View of Literature: Oscar Wilde,” Life (2 Jun 1927)

Dave — Mon, 22 Jun 2020 16:11:14 +0000

If with the literate I am
Impelled to try an epigram,
I never seek to take the credit;
We all assume that Oscar said it.

Dorothy Parker (1893-1967) American writer, poet, wit
‘A Pig’s-Eye View of Literature: Oscar Wilde,” Life (2 Jun 1927)
(Source)

Reprinted in Sunset Gun (1928).

Parker, Dorothy -- “Advice to the Little Peyton Girl,” Modern Story (Oct 1935)

Dave — Wed, 24 Jun 2009 16:43:10 +0000

Love is like quicksilver in the hand, Sylvie. Leave the fingers open and it stays in the palm; clutch it, and it darts away.

Dorothy Parker (1893-1967) American writer, poet, wit
“Advice to the Little Peyton Girl,” Modern Story (Oct 1935)

Full text.

Parker, Dorothy -- “Book Reviews,” Esquire (1 Nov 1959)

Dave — Mon, 15 Jun 2020 21:49:02 +0000

If you have any young friends who aspire to become writers, the second greatest favor you can do them is to present them with copies of The Elements of Style. The first greatest, of course, is to shoot them now, while they’re happy.

Dorothy Parker (1893-1967) American writer, poet, wit
“Book Reviews,” Esquire (1 Nov 1959)
(Source)

Review of William Strunk Jr and E. B. White, The Elements of Style, revised edition.

Parker, Dorothy -- “But Not Forgotten”

Dave — Tue, 20 Mar 2012 12:42:11 +0000

I think, no matter where you be,
You’ll hold me in your memory
And keep my image, there without me,
By telling later loves about me.

Dorothy Parker (1893-1967) American writer, poet, wit
“But Not Forgotten”

Parker, Dorothy -- “Comment,” New York World (16 Aug 1925)

Dave — Sun, 01 Feb 2004 16:00:00 +0000

Oh, life is a glorious cycle of song,
A medley of extemporanea;
And love is a thing that can never go wrong;
And I am Marie of Roumania.

Dorothy Parker (1893-1967) American writer, poet, wit
“Comment,” New York World (16 Aug 1925)
(Source)

Reprinted in Enough Rope (1926)

Parker, Dorothy -- “Faute de Mieux,” Enough Rope (1926)

Dave — Mon, 11 May 2020 14:41:48 +0000

Travel, trouble, music, art,
A kiss, a frock, a rhyme —
I never said they feed my heart,
But still they pass my time.

Dorothy Parker (1893-1967) American writer, poet, wit
“Faute de Mieux,” Enough Rope (1926)

Faute de mieux means "for lack of something better or more desirable."

Parker, Dorothy -- “Indian Summer,” Enough Rope (1926)

Dave — Mon, 14 Feb 2011 14:39:23 +0000

Now I know the things I know,
And do the things I do;
and if you do not like me so,
To hell, my love, with you!

Dorothy Parker (1893-1967) American writer, poet, wit
“Indian Summer,” Enough Rope (1926)

Parker, Dorothy -- “Indian Summer,” Enough Rope (1926)

Dave — Mon, 04 May 2020 15:11:15 +0000

In youth, it was a way I had
To do my best to please,
And change, with every passing lad,
To suit his theories.

But now I know the things I know,
And do the things I do;
And if you do not like me so,
To hell, my love, with you!

Dorothy Parker (1893-1967) American writer, poet, wit
“Indian Summer,” Enough Rope (1926)
(Source)

Parker, Dorothy -- “Interior,” st. 3, Sunset Gun (1928)

Dave — Thu, 12 Sep 2024 14:02:26 +0000

Her mind lives tidily, apart
From cold and noise and pain,
And bolts the door against her heart,
Out wailing in the rain.

Dorothy Parker (1893-1967) American writer, poet, wit
“Interior,” st. 3, Sunset Gun (1928)
(Source)

Parker, Dorothy -- “Inventory,” Life (11 Nov 1926)

Dave — Mon, 23 Mar 2020 18:17:55 +0000

Four be the things I am wiser to know:
Idleness, sorrow, a friend, and a foe.

Four be the things I’d been better without:
Love, curiosity, freckles, and doubt.

Three be the things I shall never attain:
Envy, content, and sufficient champagne.

Three be the things I shall have till I die:
Laughter and hope and a sock in the eye.

Dorothy Parker (1893-1967) American writer, poet, wit
“Inventory,” Life (11 Nov 1926)
(Source)

Reprinted in Enough Rope (1926).

Parker, Dorothy -- “Observation,” New York World (16 Aug 1925)

Dave — Mon, 13 Apr 2020 16:03:40 +0000

If I didn’t care for fun and such,
I’d probably amount to much.
But I shall stay the way I am,
Because I do not give a damn.

Dorothy Parker (1893-1967) American writer, poet, wit
“Observation,” New York World (16 Aug 1925)

Parker, Dorothy -- “Penelope” (1936)

Dave — Mon, 01 Jun 2020 14:58:20 +0000

In the pathway of the sun,
    In the footsteps of the breeze,
Where the world and sky are one,
    He shall ride the silver seas,
        He shall cut the glittering wave.

I shall sit at home, and rock;
Rise, to heed a neighbor’s knock;
Brew my tea, and snip my thread;
Bleach the linen for my bed.
They will call him brave.

Dorothy Parker (1893-1967) American writer, poet, wit
“Penelope” (1936)
(Source)

Parker, Dorothy -- “Philosophy,” Enough Rope (1926)

Dave — Mon, 18 May 2020 15:43:48 +0000

If I should labor through daylight and dark,
Consecrate, valorous, serious, true,
Then on the world I may blazon my mark;
And what if I don’t, and what if I do?

Dorothy Parker (1893-1967) American writer, poet, wit
“Philosophy,” Enough Rope (1926)
(Source)

Parker, Dorothy -- “Résumé,” New York World (16 Aug 1925)

Dave — Tue, 04 Sep 2007 02:28:44 +0000

Razors pain you;
Rivers are damp;
Acids stain you;
And drugs cause cramp.
Guns aren’t lawful;
Nooses give;
Gas smells awful;
You might as well live.

Dorothy Parker (1893-1967) American writer, poet, wit
“Résumé,” New York World (16 Aug 1925)
(Source)

Reprinted in Enough Rope (1926). Parker attempted suicide several times, by a variety of methods.

Parker, Dorothy -- “Testament,” Not So Deep as a Well (1936)

Dave — Mon, 30 Mar 2020 17:18:22 +0000

Oh, let it be a night of lyric rain
And singing breezes, when my bell is tolled.
I have so loved the rain that I would hold
Last in my ears its friendly, dim refrain.

Dorothy Parker (1893-1967) American writer, poet, wit
“Testament,” Not So Deep as a Well (1936)
(Source)

Parker, Dorothy -- “The Flaw in Paganism,” Death and Taxes (1931)

Dave — Mon, 20 Apr 2020 22:04:51 +0000

Drink and dance and laugh and lie,
Love, the reeling midnight through,
For tomorrow we shall die!
(But, alas, we never do.)

Dorothy Parker (1893-1967) American writer, poet, wit
“The Flaw in Paganism,” Death and Taxes (1931)
(Source)

Parker, Dorothy -- “The Little Hours,” Here Lies (1939)

Dave — Wed, 27 Apr 2011 13:42:58 +0000

I might repeat to myself slowly and soothingly, a list of quotations beautiful from minds profound — if I can remember any of the damn things.

Dorothy Parker (1893-1967) American writer, poet, wit
“The Little Hours,” Here Lies (1939)

Parker, Dorothy -- “Thoughts for a Sunshiny Morning,” New Yorker (3 Apr 1927)

Dave — Mon, 29 Jun 2020 20:54:54 +0000

It costs me never a stab nor squirm
To tread by chance upon a worm.
“Aha, my little dear,” I say,
“Your clan will pay me back some day.”

Dorothy Parker (1893-1967) American writer, poet, wit
“Thoughts for a Sunshiny Morning,” New Yorker (3 Apr 1927)
(Source)

Reprinted in Sunset Gun (1927).

Parker, Dorothy -- (Attributed)

Dave — Sun, 01 Feb 2004 16:00:00 +0000

This is not a novel to be tossed aside lightly. It should be thrown with great force.

Dorothy Parker (1893-1967) American writer, poet, wit
(Attributed)

First attributed in this form in Robert E. Drennan, ed., The Algonquin Wits (1968). No actual source material has been found by Parker using this quip, and it appears to have been first attributed to her by Bennett Cerf in his "Try and Stop Me" syndicated column (1962-10-10).

The Quote Investigator site attributes the quote to a faked, humorous review blurb in the book To You I Tell It! by Bill Miller (1929). Further examination of the quotation's origins: Quote Origin: Not a Book To Be Lightly Thrown Aside. Should Be Thrown with Great Force – Quote Investigator®.

Parker, Dorothy -- (Attributed)

Dave — Mon, 07 Dec 2009 12:52:17 +0000

This is on me.

Dorothy Parker (1893-1967) American writer, poet, wit
(Attributed)

Proposed epitaph for herself. In Robert E. Drennan, ed., "Dorothy Parker," The Algonquin Wits (1968)

Parker, Dorothy -- (Attributed)

Dave — Mon, 08 Jun 2020 19:21:20 +0000

Tell him I was too fucking busy — or vice versa.

Dorothy Parker (1893-1967) American writer, poet, wit
(Attributed)

In Hard Times, Vol. 6 (1967), the anecdote is that a messenger pounded on her door for several minutes, having been sent by a New Yorker editor for some promised writing. She finally opened a second-floor window, called down to find out what was the matter, and provided this retort.

In Oscar Levant, The Unimportance of Being Oscar (1968), it's phrased "Too fucking busy, and vice versa."

Parker, Dorothy -- (Spurious)

Dave — Fri, 21 Jun 2013 14:37:44 +0000

I like to have a martini,
Two at the very most.
After three I’m under the table,
After four I’m under my host.

Dorothy Parker (1893-1967) American writer, poet, wit
(Spurious)

Variants:

"I'd love to have a martini, / Two at the very most. / With three I'm under the table, / With four I'm under my host."
"I like to have a Martini / But only two at the most, / After three I'm under the table, / After four I'm under my host."

Frequently attributed to Parker (the main quatrain quoted is in The Collected Dorothy Parker), but originally an anonymous gag in found in the University of Virginia Harlequin (1959): "I wish I could drink like a lady. / 'Two or three,' at the most. / But two, and I'm under the table -- / And three, I'm under the host."

The confusion apparently comes from Bennett Cerf, Try and Stop Me (1944), where he related an anecdote in which Parker commented about a cocktail party, more straightforwardly, "Enjoyed it? One more drink and I'd have been under the host!" See here for more discussion.

Parker, Dorothy -- (Spurious)

Dave — Mon, 16 Mar 2020 17:14:29 +0000

I hate writing. I love having written.

Dorothy Parker (1893-1967) American writer, poet, wit
(Spurious)

Not found in any of Parker's works, and not attributed to her until several years after her death. The earliest rendition of a thought like this ("Don't like to write, but like having written") comes from novelist Frank Norris in a posthumous letter published in "The Bellman's Book Plate: The Writing Grind," The Bellman (4 Dec 1915).

More discussion here: Don’t Like to Write, But Like Having Written – Quote Investigator.

See also Pratchett.

Parker, Dorothy -- New Yorker (4 Feb 1928)

Dave — Tue, 25 Oct 2016 02:51:58 +0000

Take me or leave me; or, as in the usual order of things, both.

Dorothy Parker (1893-1967) American writer, poet, wit
New Yorker (4 Feb 1928)

Parker, Dorothy -- The Ladies of the Corridor (1954) [with Arnaud d’Usseau]

Dave — Tue, 26 May 2020 16:29:11 +0000

Of course I talk to myself. I like a good speaker, and I appreciate an intelligent audience.

Dorothy Parker (1893-1967) American writer, poet, wit
The Ladies of the Corridor (1954) [with Arnaud d’Usseau]

Parker, Dorothy -- Caption, Vogue (1916)

Dave — Fri, 27 May 2016 19:46:31 +0000

Brevity is the soul of lingerie.

Dorothy Parker (1893-1967) American writer, poet, wit
Caption, Vogue (1916)

Quoted and attributed in Alexander Woollcott, While Rome Burns (1934). Modeled after Shakespeare. The full caption, from a page of women's underwear: "From these foundations of the autumn wardrobe, one may learn that brevity is the soul of lingerie, as the Petticoat said to the Chemise."

Parker, Dorothy -- In Robert E. Drennan, ed., “Dorothy Parker,” The Algonquin Wits (1968)

Dave — Thu, 08 Oct 2009 19:17:48 +0000

You can’t teach an old dogma new tricks.

Dorothy Parker (1893-1967) American writer, poet, wit
In Robert E. Drennan, ed., “Dorothy Parker,” The Algonquin Wits (1968)

Parker, Dorothy -- Interview (1956, Summer), “The Art of Fiction, No. 13,” by Marion Capron, The Paris Review, Issue 13

Dave — Wed, 23 Oct 2024 20:54:15 +0000

As for me, I’d like to have money. And I’d like to be a good writer. These two can come together, and I hope they will, but if that’s too adorable, I’d rather have the money. I hate almost all rich people, but I think I’d be darling at it.

Dorothy Parker (1893-1967) American writer, poet, wit
Interview (1956, Summer), “The Art of Fiction, No. 13,” by Marion Capron, The Paris Review, Issue 13
(Source)

Collected in Writers at Work: The Paris Review Interviews, First Series (1958).

Parker, Dorothy -- Interview (1956, Summer), “The Art of Fiction, No. 13,” by Marion Capron, The Paris Review, Issue 13

Dave — Sun, 01 Feb 2004 16:00:00 +0000

Wit has truth in it; wisecracking is simply calisthenics with words.

Dorothy Parker (1893-1967) American writer, poet, wit
Interview (1956, Summer), “The Art of Fiction, No. 13,” by Marion Capron, The Paris Review, Issue 13

Collected in Writers at Work: The Paris Review Interviews, First Series (1958).

Parker, Dorothy -- Interview (1956, Summer), “The Art of Fiction, No. 13,” by Marion Capron, The Paris Review, Issue 13

Dave — Thu, 10 Feb 2011 14:39:15 +0000

It’s not the tragedies that kill us. It’s the messes.

Dorothy Parker (1893-1967) American writer, poet, wit
Interview (1956, Summer), “The Art of Fiction, No. 13,” by Marion Capron, The Paris Review, Issue 13
(Source)

Collected in Writers at Work: The Paris Review Interviews, First Series (1958).

Parker, Dorothy -- Speech (1947-11-02), Civil Rights Congress reception, Park Central Hotel, New York City

Dave — Wed, 29 Jan 2025 23:26:15 +0000

For heaven’s sake, children, Fascism isn’t coming — it’s here. It’s dreadful. Stop it.

Dorothy Parker (1893-1967) American writer, poet, wit
Speech (1947-11-02), Civil Rights Congress reception, Park Central Hotel, New York City
(Source)

At a fund-raiser on behalf of 19 writers, directors, and actors who refused to cooperate with the House Un-American Activities Committee (HUAC). Reported as an AP story, "Eisler in Attendance At Reception for 19 in Hollywood Inquiry," Evening Star, Washington, DC (1947-11-03).

The paper is given as the primary source for the above quote in various books about Parker or the HUAC Era. The full passage from the paper reads:

Dorothy Parker, the writer, said that when she viewed a committee session last week it was "incredibly hideous, as though the Gestapo were there, and fascism was there."
"Fascism isn't coming here -- it is here," she declared. Miss Parker said the Hollywood investigation was "shocking, dreadful, terrifying."

The line is also sometimes given as, "For heaven’s sake, children, Fascism isn’t coming -- it’s already here."