Always carry a flagon of whiskey in case of snakebite; and furthermore, always carry a small snake.
W. C. Fields (1880-1946) American entertainer [b. William Claude Dukenfield]
(Attributed)
Quotations by:
Fields, W. C.
Everybody should believe in something. I believe I’ll have another drink.
W. C. Fields (1880-1946) American entertainer [b. William Claude Dukenfield]
(Attributed)
Madam, there’s no such thing as a tough child — if you parboil them first for seven hours, they always come out tender.
W. C. Fields (1880-1946) American entertainer [b. William Claude Dukenfield]
(Attributed)
Happiness means quiet nerves.
W. C. Fields (1880-1946) American entertainer [b. William Claude Dukenfield]
(Attributed)
Quoted in Robert Lewis Taylor, W.C. Fields, His Follies and Fortunes (1949).
When life hands you lemons, make whiskey sours.
W. C. Fields (1880-1946) American entertainer [b. William Claude Dukenfield]
(Attributed)
While attributed to Fields, possibly on a radio show, there is no documentation to indicate he ever actually said it.
More exploration of other references: The Big Apple: “When life gives you lemons, make a whiskey sour. For God’s sake, we’re adults now, people”.
Hell, I never vote for anybody. I always vote against.
W. C. Fields (1880-1946) American entertainer [b. William Claude Dukenfield]
Comment to Gene Fowler
(Source)
Quoted in Robert Lewis Taylor, W. C. Fields, ch. 25 (1949). See also Adams.
More discussion about the origins of this quotation: I Never Vote For Anybody. I Always Vote Against – Quote Investigator.