I have a simple philosophy. Fill what’s empty, empty what’s full, and scratch where it itches.
Alice Roosevelt Longworth (1884-1980) American writer and socialite
(Attributed)
Quoted in Peter Passell & Leonard Ross, The Best (1974). When asked her opinion of the sexual revolution. Also attributed to Wallis Simpson.
Quotations by:
Longworth, Alice Roosevelt
Having a baby is like trying to push a grand piano through a transom.
Alice Roosevelt Longworth (1884-1980) American writer and socialite
(Attributed)
(Source)
On the birth of her daughter. Though widely attributed to Longworth, she in turn (as she did with many of her attributed witticisms) attributed it to someone else.
Quoted in Michael Teague, ed., Mrs. L.: Conversations With Alice Roosevelt Longworth, Introduction (1981).