When you offered your wife to each passer-by free,
Not a soul ever wanted to try her.
You have learnt wisdom now: kept beneath lock and key
She has crowds of men waiting to buy her.

[Nullus in urbe fuit tota qui tangere vellet
Uxorem gratis, Caeciliane, tuam,
Dum licuit: sed nunc positis custodibus ingens
Turba fututorum est: ingeniosus homo es.]

Marcus Valerius Martial
Martial (AD c.39-c.103) Spanish Roman poet, satirist, epigrammatist [Marcus Valerius Martialis]
Epigrams [Epigrammata], Book 1, epigram 73 (1.73) (AD 85-86) [tr. Pott & Wright (1921)]
    (Source)

(Source (Latin)). Alternate translations:

Cayus, none reckned of they wife a poynt,
While each man might, without all let or cumber,
But since a watch o're her thou didst appoint,
Of Customers she hath no little number.
Well, let them laugh hereat that list, and scoffe it,
But thou do'st find what makes most for thy profit.
[tr. Harington (1618)]

Scarce one in all the city would embrace
Thy proffere'd wife, Caecilian, free to have;
But now she's guarded, and lock'd up, apace
Thy custom comes. Oh, thou'rt a witty knave!
[tr. Fletcher (c. 1650)]

Your wife's the plainest piece a man can see:
No soul would touch her, whilst you left her free:
But since to guard her you employ all arts,
The rakes besiege her. -- You're a man of parts!
[tr. Hay (1755), ep. 74]

These was no one in the whole city, Caecilianus, who desired to meddle with your wife, even gratis, while permission was given; but now, since you have set a watch upon her, the crowd of gallants is innumerable. You are a clever fellow!
[tr. Bohn's Classical (1859)]

There was no one in the whole town willing to touch your wife, Caecilianus, gratis, while he was allowed; but now you have set your guards, there is a huge crowd of gallants. You are an ingenious person!
[tr. Ker (1919)]

No one in town would touch your wife
so long as she was free, and willing to boot.
But you posted guards, and suddenly brought to life
a swarm of suitors ardent after forbidden fruit
in the garden.
Say, you're a wily warden.
[tr. Bovie (1970)]

When you complaisantly allowed Any man, free of charge, to lay Hands on your wife, not one would play. But now you've posted a house guard There's an enormous randy crowd. Caecilianus, you're a card.
[tr. Michie (1972)]

Nobody in all Rome would have wanted to lay a finger on your wife gratis so long as it was permitted, Maecilianus; but now you have posted guards, there is a huge crowd of fuckers. You're a smart fellow.
[tr. Shackleton Bailey (1993)]

To screw your wife, unguarded, no one cared.
But once you barred her door, a thousand dared.
[tr. Wills (2007)]

None in all Rome would've wished to touch your wife
for free -- if you permitted it -- not ever.
Now that you've posted guards, Caecilianus,
you've drawn a crowd of fuckers. You're so clever.
[tr. McLean (2014)]

No one in this city would
touch your wife, while free they could;
now she’s guarded, there’s a band
of fuckers for her -- clever man!
[tr. @sentantiq/Robinson (2016)]

Caecilianus,
There wasn’t a guy in this whole damn city
Who would have touched your old lady without a stud fee
When she was easily available.
But now, with all those chaperones you’ve hired,
There’s a pack of cocksmen waiting to bang her.
You sure are clever.
[tr. Salemi]


 
Added on 7-Jan-22 | Last updated 27-Nov-23
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