GILES: I have a friend who’s coming to town, and I’d like us to be alone.
ANYA: Oh, you mean an orgasm friend?
GILES: Yes, that’s exactly the most appalling thing you could have said.(Other Authors and Sources)
Buffy the Vampire Slayer, “Hush”
Preserve civilization — write on walls.
(Other Authors and Sources)
Graffiti in the British Museum men’s room
XANDER: And was there a lesson in all this, huh? What did we learn about beer?
BUFFY: Foamy!
XANDER: Good. Just as long as that’s clear.(Other Authors and Sources)
Buffy the Vampire Slayer, “Beer Bad”
SMART GUY 1: The thing that the modern-day pundits fail to realize is that all the socioeconomic and psychological problems inherent in modern society can be solved by the judicious application of way too much beer.
BUFFY: My mother always said beer is evil.
SMART GUY 1: Evil, good — these are moral absolutes that predate the fermentation of malt and fine hops.(Other Authors and Sources)
Buffy the Vampire Slayer, “Beer Bad”
[On the nutritiousness of McDonalds food:] Coca-Cola is providing water, and I think that is part of a balanced diet.
(Other Authors and Sources)
David Green, Sr. Marketing VP for McDonalds, testimony
WILLOW: Doesn’t it make you wonder what else is there, right under our feet?
BUFFY: Mostly, I’ve just found sewers full of demons.(Other Authors and Sources)
Buffy the Vampire Slayer, “Pangs”
We’re beggars and blighters and ne’er-do-well cads,
Drink up, me hearties, yo-ho!
Aye! But we’re loved by our mommies and dads,
Drink up, me hearties, yo-ho!
Yo-ho, yo-ho, a pirate’s life for me!(Other Authors and Sources)
“Pirates of the Caribbean”
The man who strikes first admits that his ideas have given out.
(Other Authors and Sources)
Chinese proverb
The Creation of the Universe was made possible by a grant from Texas Instruments.
(Other Authors and Sources)
The Creation of the Universe, television show sponsorship credits (PBS)
A stupid man stays awake all night pondering his problems; he’s all worn out when morning comes, and whatever was, still is.
(Other Authors and Sources)
Viking proverb
Just as water reflects the face,
so one human heart reflects another.The Bible (The Old Testament) (14th - 2nd C BC) Judeo-Christian sacred scripture [Tanakh, Hebrew Bible], incl. the Apocrypha (Deuterocanonicals)
Proverbs 27:19 [NRSV (2021 ed.)]
(Source)
Alternate translations:
As in water face answereth to face, so the heart of man to man.
[KJV (1611)]
As no two faces are ever alike, unlike, too, are the hearts of men.
[JB (1966)]
A mirror reflects a man’s face, but what he is really like is shown by the kind of friends he chooses.
[TLB (1971)]
It is your own face that you see reflected in the water and it is your own self that you see in your heart.
[GNT (1976)]
As water reflects face back to face, so one human heart reflects another.
[NJB (1985)]
As water reflects the face,
so one’s life reflects the heart.
[NIV (2011 ed.)]
As water reflects the face,
so others reflect your heart back to you.
[NIV (2011 ed.), alternate]
As water reflects the face,
so the heart reflects one person to another.
[CEB (2011)]
As face answers to face in water,
So does one’s heart to another’s.
[RJPS (2023 ed.)]
THE PSI CORPS IS YOUR FRIEND. TRUST THE CORPS.
Sig Lines
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“I can only conclude that I’m paying off karma at a vastly accelerated rate.”
Sig Lines
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In Brighton she was Brenda,
She was Patsy up in Perth,
In Cambridge she was Candida
The sweetest girl on earth.
In Stafford she was Stella,
The pick of all the bunch,
But down on his expenses,
She was Petrol, Oil and Lunch.(Other Authors and Sources)
~
The autumn leaves are falling like rain.
Though my neighbors are all barbarians,
And you, you are a thousand miles away,
There are always two cups at my table.(Other Authors and Sources)
T’ang Dynasty (7th – 10th C. AD) poem
The road leading to a goal does not separate you from your destination; it is essentially a part of it.
(Other Authors and Sources)
Romany proverb
“Don’t think of it as being outnumbered, think of it as unlimited target selection!”
Sig Lines
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Never ascribe something to another cause that can be fully explained by stupidity and mediocrity.
(Other Authors and Sources)
Aerospace proverb
“I always wanted to write a little program that would pop up a window saying, ‘I’m going to amputate a limb at random from you now,’ to see how many people would instinctively click ‘OK’.”
Sig Lines
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Q: How many user support people does it take to change a light bulb?
A: We have an exact copy of the light bulb here and it seems to be working fine. Can you tell me what kind of system you have?Sig Lines
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“Physics and Law Enforcement — if it weren’t for those two, I’d be unstoppable.”
Sig Lines
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“Mine is not to wonder why, Mine is but to look and say ‘Here We Go Again…'”
Sig Lines
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It’s as if all of Scottish cuisine is based on a dare.
(Other Authors and Sources)
Saturday Night Live
“Practically everyone on sci.physics has a theory that is far superior to special relativity, general relativity, quantum mechanics and the standard model. Around here, it’s only a small clique of arrogant young members of the physics establishment who fail to recognize these revolutionary theories. I’d explain why, but I have to go finish designing my faster-than-light vacuum energy perpetual motion telekinetic aether-powered time machine.”
Sig Lines
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“I couldn’t think of anything else to do with it, so I put it on the Web.”
Sig Lines
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“ERROR 155 – You can’t do that.”
(Other Authors and Sources)
Data General S200 FORTRAN error code list
“Always code as if the guy who ends up maintaining your code will be a violent psychopath who knows where you live.”
Sig Lines
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No matter how great your triumphs or how tragic your defeats — approximately 1.5 billion Chinese couldn’t care less.
(Other Authors and Sources)
Lazlo’s Chinese Relativity Axiom
Q: How many surrealists does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: Two. One to hold the giraffe and the other to fill the bathtub with brightly colored machine tools.Sig Lines
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Q: Why did the tachyon cross the road?
A: Because it was on the other side.Sig Lines
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“Lottery: a tax on people who are bad at math.”
Sig Lines
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“Don’t use a big word where a diminutive one will suffice.”
Sig Lines
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“Old programmers never die, they just GOSUB without RETURN.”
Sig Lines
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“Error: Keyboard not attached. Press F1 to continue.”
Sig Lines
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“Smash forehead on keyboard to continue.”
Sig Lines
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“Southern DOS: Y’all reckon? (Yep/Nope)”
Sig Lines
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“Why doesn’t DOS ever say ‘EXCELLENT command or filename!'”
Sig Lines
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“BUFFERS=20 FILES=15 2nd down, 4th quarter, 5 yards to go!”
Sig Lines
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“BREAKFAST.COM Halted. Cereal Port Not Responding”
Sig Lines
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“Cannot find REALITY.SYS. Universe halted.”
Sig Lines
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“Pinky, are you pondering what I’m pondering?”
“I think so, Brain, but culottes have a tendency to ride up so.”Sig Lines
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“Pinky, are you pondering what I’m pondering?”
“I think so Brain, but if they called them Sad Meals kids wouldn’t buy them.”Sig Lines
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“Pinky, are you pondering what I’m pondering?”
“Well, I think so, Brain, but if we didn’t have ears, we’d look like weasels.”Sig Lines
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“Pinky, are you pondering what I’m pondering?”
“Uh … yeah, Brain, but where are we going to find rubber pants our size?”Sig Lines
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“Pinky, are you pondering what I’m pondering?”
“Uh, I think so Brain, but I can’t memorize a whole opera in Yiddish.”Sig Lines
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“Pinky, are you pondering what I’m pondering?”
“Uh, I think so, Brain, but balancing a family and a career … oooh, it’s all too much for me.”Sig Lines
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“Pinky, are you pondering what I’m pondering?”
“Uh, I think so, Brain, but where will we find a duck and a hose at this hour?”Sig Lines
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“The usability of a computer language is inversely proportional to the number of theoretical axes the language designer tries to grind.”
Sig Lines
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“I haven’t lost my mind; I’m sure it’s backed up on tape somewhere!”
Sig Lines
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“When aiming for the common denominator, be prepared for the occasional division by zero.”
Sig Lines
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MULDER: If my Miss Manners serves me right, that protrusion from his left cornea is a salad fork.
(Other Authors and Sources)
X-Files
“Every program has at least one bug and can be shortened by at least one instruction — from which, by induction, it is evident that every program can be reduced to one instruction that does not work.”
Sig Lines
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“Wouldn’t it be neat if a group of auto body specialists, car dealers, and trauma surgeons got together and lobbied Congress for a day where red means go and green means stop?”
Sig Lines
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“All generalizations are false. That last sentence is not a paradox of self reference, and neither is this one.”
Sig Lines
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“Who is General Failure and why is he reading my hard drive?”
Sig Lines
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