They did not seem in the least to suspect that our judgments judge us, and that nothing reveals us, exposes our weaknesses more ingenuously than the attitude ofpronouncing upon our fellows.
Paul Valéry (1871-1945) French poet, critic, author, polymath
Monsieur Teste (1919)
Comedy is simply a funny way of being serious.
Peter Ustinov (1921-2004) English actor, author, director
(Attributed)
While I could not find a specific source for this ubiquitous attribution, it does show up in two collections of Ustinov quotations during his lifetime: The Wit of Peter Ustinov, ed. Dick Edwards (1969), and The Quotable Ustinov, no editor given (1995).
I am rather unfriendly toward the Marxists, as I am towards those who persecute them, simply because they regard the unit by which one judges human behavior as the mass, and I really believe the individual is much more important than the mass. In fact, the mass is really composed of individuals that have momentarily lost their voice, which is a sad state of affairs.
Peter Ustinov (1921-2004) English actor, author, director
Interview for Criterion Edition release of Spartacus
In America, through pressure of conformity, there is freedom of choice, but nothing to choose from.
Peter Ustinov (1921-2004) English actor, author, director
(Attributed)
Perfectionism is the enemy of creation, as extreme self-solicitude is the enemy of well-being.
John Updike (1932-2009) American writer
Odd Jobs (1991)
To say that war is madness is like saying that sex is madness: true enough, from the standpoint of a stateless eunuch, but merely a provocative epigram for those who must make their arrangements in the world as given.
John Updike (1932-2009) American writer
Self-Consciousness: Memoirs, ch. 4 (1989)
Life is like an overlong drama through which we sit being nagged by the vague memories of having read the reviews.
John Updike (1932-2009) American writer
The Coup (1978)
Life is doubt, and faith without doubt is nothing but death.
Miguel de Unamuno (1864-1936) Spanish philosopher and writer [Miguel de Unamuno y Jugo]
“Poesias” (1907)
Alt trans. "Faith which has not doubt is dead faith." Alt trans. "Faith which does not doubt is dead faith." (Cited as La Agonía del Cristianismo [The Agony of Christianity])
Those who believe that they believe in God, but without passion in their hearts, without anguish in mind, without uncertainty, without doubt, without an element of despair even in their consolation, believe only in the God idea, not in God Himself.
[Los que sin pasión de ánimo, sin congoja, sin incertidumbre, sin duda, sin la desesperación en el consuelo, creen creer en Dios, no creen sino en la idea de Dios, más no en Dios mismo.]
Miguel de Unamuno (1864-1936) Spanish philosopher and writer [Miguel de Unamuno y Jugo]
The Tragic Sense of Life [Del sentimiento trágico de la vida], ch. 9 “Faith, Hope, and Charity” (1912) [tr. Flitch (1921)]
(Source)
Alt. trans. [tr. Kerrigan (1972)]: "Whoever believes he believes in God, but believes without passion, without anguish, without uncertainty, without doubt, without despair-in-consolation, believes only in the God-Idea, not in God Himself."
Original Spanish.
In Unamuno's earlier, unpublished work Treatise on the Love of God [Tratado del amor de Dios], ch. 3 "What is Faith?" (1905-08) [tr. Orringer], he used this same phrase and surrounding text: "Those without passion in their soul, without anguish, without uncertainty, without doubt, without despair in consolation, think they believe in God; they believe only in the idea of God, but not in God Himself."
The most tragic problem of philosophy is to reconcile intellectual necessities with the necessities of the heart and the will.
Miguel de Unamuno (1864-1936) Spanish philosopher and writer [Miguel de Unamuno y Jugo]
(Attributed)
If a person never contradicts himself, it must be that he says nothing.
Miguel de Unamuno (1864-1936) Spanish philosopher and writer [Miguel de Unamuno y Jugo]
(Attributed)
At times to be silent is to lie.
Miguel de Unamuno (1864-1936) Spanish philosopher and writer [Miguel de Unamuno y Jugo]
(Attributed)
Everybody’s got a plan — until he gets hit.
Joe Louis (1914-1981) American boxer [Joseph Louis Barrow]
(Attributed)
Often attributed to Mike Tyson.
Magic is seldom spectacular because it seldom needs to be.
Donald Tyson (b. 1954) Canadian writer and mystic
(Attributed)
Opportunity’s favorite disguise is trouble.
Frank Tyger (1929-2011) American artist, editorial cartoonist, aphorist
(Attributed)
GERARD: Newman, what are you doing?
NEWMAN: I’m thinking.
GERARD: Well, think me up a cup of coffee and a chocolate doughnut with some of those little sprinkles on top, while you’re thinking.David N. Twohy (b. 1956) American screenwriter, director
The Fugitive (1993)
(with Jeb Stuart)
I don’t care who does the electing as long as I get to do the nominating.
William M. Tweed (1823-1878) American politician ("Boss" Tweed)
(Attributed)
As long as I count the votes, what are you going to do about it?
William M. Tweed (1823-1878) American politician ("Boss" Tweed)
Statement (1871)
Virtue has never been as respectable as money.
Mark Twain (1835-1910) American writer [pseud. of Samuel Clemens]
The Innocents Abroad, ch. 23 (1869)
(Source)
One of the most striking differences between a cat and a lie is that a cat has only nine lives.
Mark Twain (1835-1910) American writer [pseud. of Samuel Clemens]
The Tragedy of Pudd’n’head Wilson, ch. 7, epigraph (1894)
Get the facts first. You can distort them later.
Mark Twain (1835-1910) American writer [pseud. of Samuel Clemens]
(Attributed)
Everyone is a moon and has a dark side which he never shows to anybody.
Mark Twain (1835-1910) American writer [pseud. of Samuel Clemens]
Following the Equator, ch. 66, epigraph (1897)
(Source)
It is my heart-warm and world-embracing Christmas hope and aspiration that all of us — the high, the low, the rich, the poor, the admired, the despised, the loved, the hated, the civilized, the savage — may eventually be gathered together in a heaven of everlasting rest and peace and bliss — except the inventor of the telephone.
Mark Twain (1835-1910) American writer [pseud. of Samuel Clemens]
Letter to the Editor of the New York World (23 Dec 1890)
(Source)
From his cradle to his grave a man never does a single thing which has any FIRST AND FOREMOST object but one — to secure peace of mind, spiritual comfort, for HIMSELF.
He liked to like people, therefore people liked him.
Mark Twain (1835-1910) American writer [pseud. of Samuel Clemens]
The Personal Recollections of Joan of Arc, ch. 16 (1896)
(Source)
Do something every day that you don’t want to do; this is the golden rule for acquiring the habit of doing your duty without pain.
Mark Twain (1835-1910) American writer [pseud. of Samuel Clemens]
Following the Equator, ch. 58, epigraph (1897)
See here for more discussion about this (and related) quotations.
Let us be thankful for fools. But for them the rest of us could not succeed.
Mark Twain (1835-1910) American writer [pseud. of Samuel Clemens]
Following the Equator, ch. 28 (1897)
Worrying about something is like paying interest on a debt you don’t even know if you owe.
Mark Twain (1835-1910) American writer [pseud. of Samuel Clemens]
(Attributed)
Each race determines for itself what indecencies are. Nature knows no indecencies; Man invents them.
Mark Twain (1835-1910) American writer [pseud. of Samuel Clemens]
Mark Twain’s Notebook [ed. Paine (1935)]
Travel is fatal to prejudice, bigotry, and narrow-mindedness, and many of our people need it sorely on these accounts. Broad, wholesome, charitable views of men and things can not be acquired by vegetating in one little corner of the earth all one’s lifetime.
Mark Twain (1835-1910) American writer [pseud. of Samuel Clemens]
The Innocents Abroad, “Conclusion” (1869)
(Source)
Few things are harder to put up with than the annoyance of a good example.
Mark Twain (1835-1910) American writer [pseud. of Samuel Clemens]
The Tragedy of Pudd’n’head Wilson, ch. 19, epigraph (1894)
I have found out that there ain’t no surer way to find out whether you like people or hate them than to travel with them.
Mark Twain (1835-1910) American writer [pseud. of Samuel Clemens]
Tom Sawyer Abroad, ch. 11 “The Sand-Storm” (1905)
(Source)
Courage is resistance to fear, mastery of fear — not absence of fear. Except a creature be part coward it is not a compliment to say it is brave; it is merely a loose application of the word.
Mark Twain (1835-1910) American writer [pseud. of Samuel Clemens]
The Tragedy of Pudd’n’head Wilson, ch. 12, epigraph (1894)
Good breeding consists in concealing how much we think of ourselves and how little we think of the other person.
Mark Twain (1835-1910) American writer [pseud. of Samuel Clemens]
Mark Twain’s Notebook [ed. Paine (1935)]
Loyalty to petrified opinions never yet broke a chain or freed a human soul in this world — and never will.
Mark Twain (1835-1910) American writer [pseud. of Samuel Clemens]
Paper delivered in Hartford (1884)
First part (to "soul") engraved on Twain's bust in the National Hall of Fame, New York University.
Sometimes I wonder whether the world is being run by smart people who are putting us on or by imbeciles who really mean it.
Mark Twain (1835-1910) American writer [pseud. of Samuel Clemens]
(Attributed)
I was gratified to be able to answer promptly, and I did. I said I didn’t know.
Mark Twain (1835-1910) American writer [pseud. of Samuel Clemens]
Life on the Mississippi, ch. 6 (1883)
A strange and vanity-devoured, detestable woman! I do not believe I could ever learn to like her except on a raft at sea with no other provisions in sight.
Mark Twain (1835-1910) American writer [pseud. of Samuel Clemens]
The Autobiography of Mark Twain, Vol. 3, 3 July 1908 (2010)
(Source)
Laws are sand, customs are rock. Laws can be evaded and punishment escaped, but an openly transgressed custom brings sure punishment.
Mark Twain (1835-1910) American writer [pseud. of Samuel Clemens]
“The Gorky Incident” (1906)
The holy passion of friendship is so sweet and steady and loyal and enduring in nature that it will last through a whole lifetime, if not asked to lend money.
Mark Twain (1835-1910) American writer [pseud. of Samuel Clemens]
The Tragedy of Pudd’nhead Wilson, ch. 8, epigraph (1894)
(Source)
I thoroughly disapprove of duels. I consider them unwise, and I know they are dangerous. Also, sinful. If a man should challenge me now, I would got to that man and take him kindly and forgivingly by the hand and lead him to a quiet, retired spot, and kill him.
Mark Twain (1835-1910) American writer [pseud. of Samuel Clemens]
The Autobiography of Mark Twain, Vol. 1, 1864 (2010)
(Source)
Seen paraphrased: "I thoroughly disapprove of duels. If a man should challenge me, I would take him kindly and forgivingly by the hand and lead him to a quiet place and kill him."
The radical of one century is the conservative of the next. The radical invents the views. When he has worn them out, the conservative adopts them.
Mark Twain (1835-1910) American writer [pseud. of Samuel Clemens]
Mark Twain’s Notebook, 1898 [ed. Paine (1935)]
Let us so live that when we come to die even the undertaker will be sorry.
Mark Twain (1835-1910) American writer [pseud. of Samuel Clemens]
The Tragedy of Pudd’n’head Wilson, ch. 6 (1894)
Sometimes given: "Let us endeavor so to live that ..."
The majority is always in the wrong. Whenever you find that you are on the side of the majority, it’s time to reform — (or pause and reflect).
Mark Twain (1835-1910) American writer [pseud. of Samuel Clemens]
Mark Twain’s Notebook (13 Oct 1904) [ed. Paine (1935)]
It may be called the Master Passion, the hunger for self approval.
Mark Twain (1835-1910) American writer [pseud. of Samuel Clemens]
What Is Man?, ch. 6 (1906)
The secret of getting ahead is getting started. The secret of getting started is breaking your complex overwhelming tasks into small manageable tasks, and then starting on the first one.
Mark Twain (1835-1910) American writer [pseud. of Samuel Clemens]
(Spurious)
It was against my principles, but I find that principles have no real force except when one is well-fed.
Mark Twain (1835-1910) American writer [pseud. of Samuel Clemens]
“Extracts from Adam’s Diary” (1904)
There are several good protections against temptations, but the surest is cowardice.
Mark Twain (1835-1910) American writer [pseud. of Samuel Clemens]
Following the Equator (1897)
Clothes make the man. Naked people have little or no influence on society.
Mark Twain (1835-1910) American writer [pseud. of Samuel Clemens]
(Attributed)
First found in Merle Johnson, More Maxims of Mark (1927), and generally considered authentic. More info here.
The conviction of the rich that the poor are happier is no more foolish than the conviction of the poor that the rich are.
Mark Twain (1835-1910) American writer [pseud. of Samuel Clemens]
(Attributed)
You can’t reason someone out of something they weren’t reasoned into.
Mark Twain (1835-1910) American writer [pseud. of Samuel Clemens]
(Attributed)
There are many humorous things in the world, among them the white man’s notion that he is less savage than the other savages.
Mark Twain (1835-1910) American writer [pseud. of Samuel Clemens]
Following the Equator (1897)
Each nation knowing it has the only true religion and the only sane system of government, each despising all the others, each an ass and not suspecting it.
But, on the other hand, Uncle Abner said that the person that had took a bull by the tail once had learnt sixty or seventy times as much as a person that hadn’t, and said a person that started in to carry a cat home by the tail was gitting knowledge that was always going to be useful to him, and warn’t ever going to grow dim or doubtful.
Mark Twain (1835-1910) American writer [pseud. of Samuel Clemens]
Tom Sawyer Abroad (1894)
Full text.
Variants sometimes seen:
- The man who sets out to carry a cat by its tail learns something that will always be useful and which never will grow dim or doubtful.
- A man who carries a cat by the tail learns something he can learn in no other way.