The price one pays for pursuing any profession, or calling, is an intimate knowledge of its ugly side.
James Baldwin (1924-1987) American novelist, playwright, activist
“The Black Boy Looks at the White Boy,” Esquire (May 1961)
Republished in Nobody Knows My Name (1961)
Nothing is more desirable than to be released from an affliction, but nothing is more frightening than to be divested of a crutch.
James Baldwin (1924-1987) American novelist, playwright, activist
Nobody Knows My Name, Introduction (1961)
Most of us are about as eager to be changed as we were to be born, and go through our changes in a similar state of shock.
James Baldwin (1924-1987) American novelist, playwright, activist
“Every Good-Bye Ain’t Gone,” New York Times (19 Dec 1977)
(Source)
Reprinted in The Price of the Ticket (1985).
I love America more than any other country in the world and, exactly for this reason, I insist on the right to criticize her perpetually.
James Baldwin (1924-1987) American novelist, playwright, activist
Notes of a Native Son (1955)
Not everything that is faced can be changed, but nothing can be changed until it is faced.
James Baldwin (1924-1987) American novelist, playwright, activist
“As Much Truth as One Can Bear,” New York Times Book Review (14 Jan 1962)
(Source)
I imagine that the reason that people cling to their hate so stubbornly is because they are afraid that if they let go of the hate, they will have to deal with pain.
James Baldwin (1924-1987) American novelist, playwright, activist
“Me and My House,” Harper’s (1955)
Reprinted in Notes of a Native Son (1955)
Ever notice that people never say “It’s only a game” when they’re winning?
Ivern Ball (1926-1992) American writer, aphorist
(Attributed)
Knowing what you can not do is more important than knowing what you can do. In fact, that’s good taste.
Lucille Ball (1911-1989) American actress, comedian, producer
(Attributed)
quoted in Eleanor Harris, The Real Story of Lucille Ball, 1954
Love yourself first and everything else falls into line.
Lucille Ball (1911-1989) American actress, comedian, producer
(Attributed)
Power is not revealed by striking hard or often, but by striking true.
[La puissance ne consiste pas à frapper fort ou souvent, mais à frapper juste.]
Honoré de Balzac (1799-1850) French novelist, playwright
Physiology of Marriage, Part 1, Meditation 5 “Of the Predestined,” aphorism 43 (1829)
Alt trans.: "Power does not consist in striking with force or with frequency, but in striking true."
An unfulfilled vocation drains the color from a man’s entire existence.
Honoré de Balzac (1799-1850) French novelist, playwright
La Maison Nucingen, Vol. 3, “Scenes de la vie Parisienne” (1838)
It is as absurd to say that a man can’t love one woman all the time as it is to say that a violinist needs several violins to play the same piece of music.
Honoré de Balzac (1799-1850) French novelist, playwright
(Attributed)
Marriage must continually vanquish the monster that devours everything, the monster of habit.
Honoré de Balzac (1799-1850) French novelist, playwright
Physiology of Marriage (1829)
Alt. trans.: "Marriage must constantly fight against a monster which devours everything: routine."
To live in the presence of great truths and eternal laws, to be led by permanent ideals – that is what keeps a man patient when the world ignores him, and calm and unspoiled when the world praises him.
Honoré de Balzac (1799-1850) French novelist, playwright
(Attributed)
If you wait until you can do everything for everybody, instead of something for somebody, you’ll end up not doing anything for anybody.
Malcolm Bane (contemp.) American Baptist minister
(Attributed)
We forgive once we give up attachment to our wounds.
Russell Banks (b. 1940) American writer
(Attributed)
Television is the first truly democratic culture — the first culture available to everyone and entirely governed by what the people want. The most terrifying thing is what people do want.
Clive Barnes (1927-2008) Anglo-American journalist, critic, writer
New York Times (30-Dec-1969)
Every crowd has a silver lining.
P.T. Barnum (1810-1891) American showman [Phineas Taylor Barnum]
(Attributed)
More persons, on the whole, are humbugged by believing in nothing, than by believing too much.
P.T. Barnum (1810-1891) American showman [Phineas Taylor Barnum]
(Attributed)
God gave us our memories so that we might have roses in December.
James Barrie (1860-1937) Scottish novelist and dramatist
Rectorial address, St. Andrew
The life of every man is a diary in which he means to write one story and writes another, and his humblest hour is when he compares the volume as it is with what he vowed to make it.
James Barrie (1860-1937) Scottish novelist and dramatist
The Little Minister, I.1 (1891)
It’s not real work unless you would rather be doing something else.
James Barrie (1860-1937) Scottish novelist and dramatist
Rectorial address, St. Andrew
Sometimes given as, "Nothing is really work unless you would rather be doing something else."
Shall we make a new rule of life from tonight: always to try to be a little kinder than is necessary?
James Barrie (1860-1937) Scottish novelist and dramatist
The Little White Bird, ch. 4 (1902)
To die will be an awfully big adventure.
James Barrie (1860-1937) Scottish novelist and dramatist
Peter Pan, Act III, final sentence (1905)
The following passage was in the 1911 book (ch. 8 "The Mermaid's Lagoon"); the scene was added to the 1905 edition of the play:
Peter was alone on the lagoon.
The rock was very small now; soon it would be submerged. Pale rays of light tiptoed across the waters; and by and by there was to be heard a sound at once the most musical and the most melancholy in the world: the mermaids calling to the moon.
Peter was not quite like other boys; but he was afraid at last. A tremor ran through him, like a shudder passing over the sea; but on the sea one shudder follows another till there are hundreds of them, and Peter felt just the one. Next moment he was standing erect on the rock again, with that smile on his face and a drum beating within him. It was saying, "To die will be an awfully big adventure."Sometimes quoted as "To die would be an awfully great adventure," "To die will be a great adventure," and "To die would be a great adventure."
Life is a long lesson in humility.
James Barrie (1860-1937) Scottish novelist and dramatist
The Little Minister (1891)
The Internet [is] a giant international network of intelligent, informed computer enthusiasts, by which I mean, “people without lives.” We don’t care. We have each other
Dave Barry (b. 1947) American humorist
Miami Herald, “Only a Real Stud Hombre CyberMuffin Can Handle ‘Windows'” (1994)
The refusal to choose is a form of choice; disbelief is a form of belief.
Frank X. Barron (1922-2002) American psychologist, philosopher, researcher
(Attributed)
Facts aren’t the truth. They only indicate where the truth may lie.
Clarence Barron (1855-1928) American editor and publisher
(Attributed)
quoted in Mary Bancroft, Autobiography
I cannot overemphasize the importance of good grammar. What a crock. I could easily overemphasize the importance of good grammar. For example, I could say: “Bad grammar is the leading cause of slow, painful death in North America,” or “Without good grammar, the United States would have lost World War II.”
Dave Barry (b. 1947) American humorist
“An Utterly Absurd Look at Grammar”
Gradually, without noticing it, you turn into a Republican and judge everything on the basis of whether or not it will increase your taxes.
Dave Barry (b. 1947) American humorist
(Attributed)
Nothing is ever really buried in a meeting. An idea may look dead, but it will always reappear at another meeting later on. If you have ever seen the movie Night of the Living Dead, you have a rough idea how modern corporations and organizations operate, with projects and proposals that everybody thought were killed constantly rising from their graves to stagger back into meetings and eat the brains of the living.
Dave Barry (b. 1947) American humorist
Claw Your Way to the Top (1986)
The function of RAM is to give us guys a way of deciding whose computer has the biggest, studliest, most tumescent MEMORY. This is important, because with today’s complex software, the more memory a computer has, the faster it can produce error messages. So the bottom line is, if you’re a guy, you cannot have enough RAM.
Dave Barry (b. 1947) American humorist
Dave Barry in Cyberspace (1996)
What I look forward to is continued immaturity followed by death.
Dave Barry (b. 1947) American humorist
(Attributed)
Without question, the greatest invention in the history of mankind is beer. Oh, I grant you that the wheel was also a fine invention, but the wheel does not go nearly as well with pizza.
Dave Barry (b. 1947) American humorist
Dave Barry’s Bad Habits (1993)
Karate is a form of martial arts in which people who have had years and years of training can, using only their hands and feet, make some of the worst movies in the history of the world.
Dave Barry (b. 1947) American humorist
(Attributed)
If you were standing in the middle of a bridge spanning a wilderness gorge, at the bottom of which was a spectacular white-water river, what would you do?
FEMALE RESPONSE: Admire the view.
MALE RESPONSE: Spit.Dave Barry (b. 1947) American humorist
Miami Herald (12 May 1996)
A Harris survey was released showing that 70 percent of men do not view birth control as their responsibility. This resulted in the usual round of male-bashing by the usual critics, who as usual failed to note the many areas in which men take on MORE than their fair share of responsibility; such as spider-killing, channel-changing, referee-critiquing, scratching, and traffic gestures.
Dave Barry (b. 1947) American humorist
Miami Herald, “A Year That Felt Like a Century” (13 Jan. 1996)
In 1995, at the Citadel — the South Carolina military academy where courageous specimens of Southern manhood receive the rigorous training and character development they need to be able to fight any enemy, meet any challenge, and face any danger — many courageous manhood specimens became extremely upset when, for a little while, they had to go to school with — Yikes! — a girl! Oh no! Cooties!
Dave Barry (b. 1947) American humorist
Miami Herald, “A Year That Felt Like a Century” (13 Jan. 1996)
I argue very well. Ask any of my remaining friends. I can win an argument on any topic, against any opponent. People know this, and steer clear of me at parties. Often, as a sign of their great respect, they don’t even invite me.
Dave Barry (b. 1947) American humorist
Miami Herald
We don’t know where the digital revolution is taking us, only that when we get there we will not have enough RAM.
Dave Barry (b. 1947) American humorist
(Attributed)
Thus the metric system did not really catch on in the States, unless you count the increasing popularity of the nine-millimeter bullet.
Dave Barry (b. 1947) American humorist
(Attributed)
Meetings are an addictive, highly self-indulgent activity that corporations and other large organizations habitually engage in only because they cannot actually masturbate.
The main accomplishment of almost all organized protests is to annoy people who are not in them.
Dave Barry (b. 1947) American humorist
“25 Things I Have Learned In 50 Years,” #17 (1997)
No matter how much you love your spouse, eventually the smooth unblemished surface of your relationship will be marred by a small pimple of anger, which, if ignored, can grow into a major festering zit of rage that will explode and spew forth a really disgusting metaphor that I don’t wish to pursue any further here.
Dave Barry (b. 1947) American humorist
Miami Herald, “To Love, Honor, and Ask for Directions” (31 Jan. 1994)
There is a very fine line between “hobby” and “mental illness.”
Dave Barry (b. 1947) American humorist
“25 Things I Have Learned In 50 Years,” #11 (1997)
Women often ask, “What do men really want, deep in their souls?” The best answer — based on in-depth analysis of the complex and subtle interplay of thought, instinct, and emotion that constitutes the male psyche — is that, deep in their souls, men want to watch stuff go “bang.”
Dave Barry (b. 1947) American humorist
Miami Herald, “It’s a Bird! It’s a Plane! It’s a . . . BONK!” (2 Oct. 1994)
Nobody cares if you can’t dance well. Just get up and dance.
Dave Barry (b. 1947) American humorist
“25 Things I Have Learned In 50 Years,” #25 (1997)
When trouble arises and things look bad, there is always one individual who perceives a solution and is willing to take command. Very often, that individual is crazy.
Dave Barry (b. 1947) American humorist
“25 Things I Have Learned In 50 Years,” #23 (1997)
No matter what happens, somebody will find a way to take it too seriously.
Dave Barry (b. 1947) American humorist
“25 Things I Have Learned In 50 Years,” #22 (1997)
What happens if a big asteroid hits Earth? Judging from realistic simulations involving a sledge hammer and a common laboratory frog, we can assume it will be pretty bad.
Dave Barry (b. 1947) American humorist
(Attributed)
A person who is nice to you, but rude to the waiter, is not a nice person.
Dave Barry (b. 1947) American humorist
“25 Things I Have Learned In 50 Years,” #21 (1997)
You should not confuse your career with your life.
Dave Barry (b. 1947) American humorist
“25 Things I Have Learned In 50 Years,” #20 (1997)
The one thing that unites all human beings, regardless of age, gender, religion, economic status or ethnic background, is that, deep down inside, we all believe that we are above-average drivers.
Dave Barry (b. 1947) American humorist
“25 Things I Have Learned In 50 Years,” # 9 (1997)
Another possible source of guidance for teenagers is television, but television’s message has always been that the need for truth, wisdom and world peace pales by comparison with the need for a toothpaste that offers whiter teeth and fresher breath.
Dave Barry (b. 1947) American humorist
“Kids Today: They Don’t Know Dum Diddly Do”
People who want to share their religious views with you almost never want you to share yours with them.
Dave Barry (b. 1947) American humorist
“25 Things I Have Learned In 50 Years,” #12 (1997)