WIST Quotations

Addison, Joseph -- Essay (1711-12-08), The Spectator, No. 243

Dave — Mon, 08 Sep 2025 16:44:41 +0000

Temperance and abstinence, faith and devotion, are in themselves perhaps as laudable as any other virtues; but those which make a man popular and beloved are justice, charity, munificence, and, in short, all the good qualities which render us beneficial to each other.

Joseph Addison (1672-1719) English essayist, poet, statesman
Essay (1711-12-08), The Spectator, No. 243
(Source)

Martin, Judith -- Interview (2011-08), “Q and A with Miss Manners,” by Arcynta Ali Childs, Smithsonian magazine

Dave — Mon, 25 Aug 2025 15:51:59 +0000

Q. What is etiquette? And why is it so important?

A. It’s important because we can’t stand the way that other people treat us. Although we want the right to be able to behave in any way we want. Somehow a compromise is in order, if you want to live in communities. If you live on a mountaintop by yourself, it’s not necessary.

Judith Martin (b. 1938) American author, journalist, etiquette expert [a.k.a. Miss Manners]
Interview (2011-08), “Q and A with Miss Manners,” by Arcynta Ali Childs, Smithsonian magazine
(Source)

Martin, Judith -- Interview (1995-03-06) by Virginia Shea, “Miss Mannners’ Guide to Excruciatingly Correct Internet Behavior,” Computerworld, Vol. 29, No. 10

Dave — Mon, 04 Aug 2025 17:31:26 +0000

I always presume, because it helps me get up in the morning, that most people are people of goodwill and would like to restrain themselves from offending people if they knew what was offensive.

Judith Martin (b. 1938) American author, journalist, etiquette expert [a.k.a. Miss Manners]
Interview (1995-03-06) by Virginia Shea, “Miss Mannners’ Guide to Excruciatingly Correct Internet Behavior,” Computerworld, Vol. 29, No. 10
(Source)

Franklin, Benjamin -- Poor Richard (1740 ed.)

Dave — Thu, 31 Jul 2025 15:40:45 +0000

Fear to do ill, and you need fear nought else.

Benjamin Franklin (1706-1790) American statesman, scientist, philosopher, aphorist
Poor Richard (1740 ed.)
(Source)

Martin, Judith -- Interview (1995-03-06) by Virginia Shea, “Miss Mannners’ Guide to Excruciatingly Correct Internet Behavior,” Computerworld, Vol. 29, No. 10

Dave — Mon, 28 Jul 2025 17:52:48 +0000

There are plenty of people who say, “We don’t care about etiquette, but we can’t stand the way so-and-so behaves, and we don’t want him around!” Etiquette doesn’t have the great sanctions that the law has. But the main sanction we do have is in not dealing with these people and isolating them because their behavior is unbearable.

Bolt, Robert -- Lawrence of Arabia, Part 1, sc. 38 (1962) [with Michael Wilson]

Dave — Tue, 01 Jul 2025 19:13:34 +0000

MURRAY: If you’re insubordinate with me, Lawrence, I’ll put you under arrest!

LAWRENCE: It’s my manner, sir.

MURRAY: What?

LAWRENCE: My manner, sir. It looks insubordinate, but it isn’t really.

MURRAY: I can’t make out whether you’re bloody bad-mannered or just half-witted.

LAWRENCE: I have the same problem, sir.

MURRAY: Shut up!

LAWRENCE: Yes, sir.

Robert Bolt (1924-1995) English dramatist
Lawrence of Arabia, Part 1, sc. 38 (1962) [with Michael Wilson]
(Source)

In the movie, the dialog is nearly identical:

MURRAY: If you're insubordinate with me, Lawrence, I shall put you under arrest.
LAWRENCE: It's my manner, sir.
MURRAY: Your what?
LAWRENCE: My manner, sir. It looks insubordinate, but it isn't really.
MURRAY: Well, I can't make out whether you're bloody bad-mannered or just half-witted.
LAWRENCE: I have the same problem, sir.
MURRAY: Shut up.
LAWRENCE: Yes, sir.

McLaughlin, Mignon -- The Neurotic’s Notebook, ch. 2 (1963)

Dave — Mon, 17 Mar 2025 20:37:32 +0000

We start out determined to see that our children are good; we soon settle for having them nice.

Mignon McLaughlin (1913-1983) American journalist and author
The Neurotic’s Notebook, ch. 2 (1963)
(Source)

Taleb, Nassim Nicholas -- Fooled by Randomness, Part 1, ch. 2 (2001)

Dave — Mon, 17 Mar 2025 17:11:34 +0000

The epic poet did not judge his heroes by the result: Heroes won and lost battles in a manner that was totally independent of their own valor; their fate depended upon totally external forces, generally the explicit agency of the scheming gods (not devoid of nepotism(. Heroes are heroes because they are heroic in behavior, not because they won or loss.

Nassim Nicholas Taleb (b. 1960) Lebanese-American essayist, statistician, risk analyst, aphorist
Fooled by Randomness, Part 1, ch. 2 (2001)

Emerson, Ralph Waldo -- Essay (1860), “Behavior,” The Conduct of Life, ch. 5

Dave — Mon, 20 Jan 2025 20:20:19 +0000

A main fact in the history of manners is the wonderful expressiveness of the human body. If it were made of glass, or of air, and the thoughts were written on steel tablets within, it could not publish more truly its meaning than now. Wise men read very sharply all your private history in your look and gait and behavior. The whole economy of nature is bent on expression. The telltale body is all tongues.

Ralph Waldo Emerson (1803-1882) American essayist, lecturer, poet
Essay (1860), “Behavior,” The Conduct of Life, ch. 5
(Source)

Based on a course of lectures by that name first delivered in Pittsburg (1851-03).

Martin, Judith -- “Miss Manners,” syndicated column (1983-12-31)

Dave — Mon, 23 Dec 2024 18:43:07 +0000

When a society abandons its ideals just because most people can’t live up to them, behavior gets very ugly indeed.

Judith Martin (b. 1938) American author, journalist, etiquette expert [a.k.a. Miss Manners]
“Miss Manners,” syndicated column (1983-12-31)
(Source)

Collected in Miss Manners' Guide to Rearing Perfect Children, ch. 6 "Collegiate," "Undergraduate Romances" (1984).

Gaiman, Neil -- Speech (2012-05-17), Commencement, University of the Arts, Philadelphia [19:05]

Dave — Thu, 10 Oct 2024 22:14:07 +0000

So be wise, because the world needs more wisdom, and if you cannot be wise, pretend to be someone who is wise, and then just behave like they would.

Neil Gaiman (b. 1960) British author, screenwriter, fabulist
Speech (2012-05-17), Commencement, University of the Arts, Philadelphia [19:05]
(Source)

(Source (Video))

Martin, Judith -- Miss Manners Rescues Civilization, ch. 13 “Tradition Moves Ahead” (1996)

Dave — Fri, 13 Sep 2024 14:13:02 +0000

DEAR MISS MANNERS: Is it ever possible to be too polite?

GENTLE READER: When politeness is used to show up other people, it is reclassified as rudeness. Thus it is technically impossible to be too polite.

Judith Martin (b. 1938) American author, journalist, etiquette expert [a.k.a. Miss Manners]
Miss Manners Rescues Civilization, ch. 13 “Tradition Moves Ahead” (1996)
(Source)

"Miss Manners's Parting Shot." Concluding words of the book.

McLaughlin, Mignon -- The Second Neurotic’s Notebook, ch. 5 (1966)

Dave — Thu, 12 Sep 2024 16:36:37 +0000

If you are brave too often, people will come to expect it of you.

Mignon McLaughlin (1913-1983) American journalist and author
The Second Neurotic’s Notebook, ch. 5 (1966)
(Source)

Martin, Judith -- Miss Manners’ Guide for the Turn-of-the-Millennium, Part 2 “Home Life,” “Parents and Children” (1989)

Dave — Mon, 29 Jul 2024 18:28:21 +0000

The dinner table is the center for the teaching and practicing not just of table manners but of conversation, consideration, tolerance, family feeling, and just about all the other accomplishments of polite society except the minuet.

Judith Martin (b. 1938) American author, journalist, etiquette expert [a.k.a. Miss Manners]
Miss Manners’ Guide for the Turn-of-the-Millennium, Part 2 “Home Life,” “Parents and Children” (1989)
(Source)

Martin, Judith -- “Miss Manners,” syndicated column (1987-11-01)

Dave — Mon, 22 Jul 2024 15:18:53 +0000

The challenge of manners is not so much to be nice to someone whose favor and/or person you covet (although more people need to be reminded of that necessity than one would suppose) as to be exposed to the bad manners of others without imitating them.

Judith Martin (b. 1938) American author, journalist, etiquette expert [a.k.a. Miss Manners]
“Miss Manners,” syndicated column (1987-11-01)
(Source)

Collected in Miss Manners' Guide for the Turn-of-the-Millennium, Part 1 "Revised Conventions," "Correcting Others" (1989).

Longfellow, Henry Wadsworth -- “There Was a Little Girl,” st. 1 (c. 1850)

Dave — Tue, 30 Jan 2024 20:07:48 +0000

There was a little girl,
Who had a little curl,
Right in the middle of her forehead.
When she was good,
She was very good indeed,
But when she was bad she was horrid.

Henry Wadsworth Longfellow (1807-1882) American poet
“There Was a Little Girl,” st. 1 (c. 1850)
(Source)

Often printed with "She was very, very good" for the penultimate line, and sometimes with "And when she was bad" (e.g.).

His son, Ernest, says that Longfellow composed the rhyme while walking back and forth with his infant second daughter (Alice Mary, b. 1850). There is some dispute about this, as well as his authorship of the other stanzas of the poem.

Martin, Judith -- “Polite Company,” interview by Hara Estroff Marano, Psychology Today (1998-03)

Dave — Tue, 30 May 2023 15:15:18 +0000

Teacup formality is a part of etiquette, but an infinitesimal part. How about fast-food informality? That is as much a part of etiquette as the teacup. It is all of our behavior and not simply the formal occasion behavior. And, in fact, the more informal the circumstances, usually the more you need etiquette.

Judith Martin (b. 1938) American author, journalist, etiquette expert [a.k.a. Miss Manners]
“Polite Company,” interview by Hara Estroff Marano, Psychology Today (1998-03)
(Source)

Martin, Judith -- “Polite Company,” interview by Hara Estroff Marano, Psychology Today (1998-03)

Dave — Tue, 09 May 2023 15:18:37 +0000

Etiquette is about all of human social behavior. Behavior is regulated by law when etiquette breaks down or when the stakes are high — violations of life, limb, property, and so on. Barring that, etiquette is a little social contract we make that we well restrain some of our more provocative impulses in return for living more or less harmoniously in a community.

Judith Martin (b. 1938) American author, journalist, etiquette expert [a.k.a. Miss Manners]
“Polite Company,” interview by Hara Estroff Marano, Psychology Today (1998-03)
(Source)

Goethe, Johann von -- Elective Affinities [Die Wahlverwandtschaften], Part 2, ch. 5, “From Ottilie’s Journal [Aus Ottiliens Tagebuche]” (1809) [tr. Hollingdale (1971)]

Dave — Mon, 05 Dec 2022 17:09:46 +0000

Behavior is a mirror in which everyone displays his own image.

[Das Betragen ist ein Spiegel in welchem jeder sein Bild zeigt.]

Johann Wolfgang von Goethe (1749-1832) German poet, statesman, scientist
Elective Affinities [Die Wahlverwandtschaften], Part 2, ch. 5, “From Ottilie’s Journal [Aus Ottiliens Tagebuche]” (1809) [tr. Hollingdale (1971)]
(Source)

(Source (German)). Alternate translation:

Behavior is a mirror in which every one shows his image.
[Niles ed. (1872)]

Della Casa, Giovanni -- Galateo: Or, A Treatise on Politeness and Delicacy of Manners [Il Galateo overo de’ costumi], ch. 2 (1558) [tr. Graves (1774)]

Dave — Mon, 15 Aug 2022 19:11:52 +0000

You ought to regulate your manner of behaviour towards others, not according to your own humour, but agreeably to the pleasure and inclination of those with whom you converse.

[Il che acciò che tu più agevolmente apprenda di fare, dèi sapere che a te convien temperare et ordinare i tuoi modi non secondo il tuo arbitrio, ma secondo il piacer di coloro co’ quali tu usi, et a quello indirizzargli.]

Giovanni della Casa (1503-1556) Florentine poet, author, diplomat, bishop
Galateo: Or, A Treatise on Politeness and Delicacy of Manners [Il Galateo overo de’ costumi], ch. 2 (1558) [tr. Graves (1774)]
(Source)

(Source (Italian)). Alternate translations:

It behooves thee, to frame and order thy maners and doings, not according to thine owne minde and fashion: but to please those, with whome thou livest, and after that sort direct thy doings.
[tr. Peterson (1576)]

You must know that it will be to your advantage to temper and adapt your manners not according to your own choices but according to the pleasure of those with whom you are dealing and act accordingly.
[tr. Einsenbichler/Bartlett (1986)]

Rooney, Andy -- Sincerely, Andy Rooney, Part 15 “Faith in Reason” (1999)

Dave — Tue, 26 Jul 2022 14:25:39 +0000

I’d be more willing to accept religion, even though I don’t believe in it, if I thought it made people nicer to each other, but I don’t think it does.

Andy Rooney (1919-2011) American journalist, commentator, author
Sincerely, Andy Rooney, Part 15 “Faith in Reason” (1999)
(Source)

From a 1989 letter he wrote to his children about religion.

Diamond, Jared -- Collapse: How Societies Choose to Fail or Succeed, “Big businesses and the environment” (2005)

Dave — Mon, 28 Mar 2022 16:33:12 +0000

Businesses have changed when the public came to expect and require different behavior, to reward businesses for behavior that the public wanted, and to make things difficult for businesses practising behaviors that the public didn’t want. I predict that in the future, just as in the past, changes in public attitudes will be essential for changes in businesses’ environmental practices.

Jared Diamond (b. 1937) American geographer, historian, ornithologist, author
Collapse: How Societies Choose to Fail or Succeed, “Big businesses and the environment” (2005)
(Source)

Martin, Judith -- Twitter (2022-01-16)

Dave — Mon, 28 Mar 2022 16:29:12 +0000

It would be difficult for anyone with normal powers of observation to believe that there is a link between having money and behaving well.

Judith Martin (b. 1938) American author, journalist, etiquette expert [a.k.a. Miss Manners]
Twitter (2022-01-16)
(Source)

Schopenhauer, Arthur -- Parerga and Paralipomena, Vol. 1, “Aphorisms on the Wisdom of Life [Aphorismen zur Lebensweisheit],” ch. 4 “Counsels and Maxims [Paränesen und Maximen],” § 3.29 (1851) [tr. Payne (1974)]

Dave — Fri, 17 Dec 2021 17:42:28 +0000

Precisely in trifles, wherein a man is off his guard, does he show his character, and then we are often able at our leisure to observe in small actions or mere mannerisms the boundless egoism which has not the slightest regard for others and in matters of importance does not afterwards deny itself, although it is disguised. We should never miss such an opportunity. If in the petty affairs and circumstances of everyday life, in the things to which the de minimis lex non curat applies, a man acts inconsiderately, seeking merely his own advantage or convenience to the disadvantage of others; if he appropriates that which exists for everybody; then we may be sure that there is no justice in his heart, but that he would be a scoundrel even on a large scale if his hands were not tied by law and authority; we should not trust him across our threshold. Indeed, whoever boldly breaks the laws of his own circle will also break those of the State whenever he can do so without risk.

[Gerade in Kleinigkeiten, als bei welchen der Mensch sich nicht zusammennimmt, zeigt er seinen Charakter, und da kann man oft, an geringfügigen Handlungen, an bloßen Manieren, den gränzenlosen, nicht die mindeste Rücksicht auf Andere kennenden Egoismus bequem beobachten, der sich nachher im Großen nicht verleugnet, wiewohl verlarvt. Und man versäume solche Gelegenheit nicht. Wenn Einer in dem kleinen täglichen Vorgängen und Verhältnissen des Lebens, in den Dingen, von welchen das de minimis lex non curat gilt, rücksichtslos verfährt, bloß seinen Vertheil oder seine Bequemlichkeit, zum Nachtheil Andere, sucht; wenn er sich angeignet was für Alle da ist u. s. w.; da sei man überzeugt, daß in seinem Herzen keine Gerechtigkeit wohnt, sondern er auch im Großen ein Schuft sein wird, sobald das Gesetz und die Gewalt ihm nicht die Hände binden, und traue ihm nicht über die Schwelle. Ja, wer ohne Scheu die Gesetze seines Klubs bricht, wird auch die des Staates brechen, sobald er es ohne Gefahr kann.]

Arthur Schopenhauer (1788-1860) German philosopher
Parerga and Paralipomena, Vol. 1, “Aphorisms on the Wisdom of Life [Aphorismen zur Lebensweisheit],” ch. 4 “Counsels and Maxims [Paränesen und Maximen],” § 3.29 (1851) [tr. Payne (1974)]
(Source)

The Latin means, "The law is not concerned with trifles." (Source (German)) Alternate translations:

A man shows his character just in the way in which he deals with trifles, -- for then he is off his guard. This will often afford a good opportunity of observing the boundless egoism of man's nature, and his total lack of consideration for others; and if these defects show themselves in small things, or merely in his general demeanor, you will find that they also underlie his action in matters of importance, although he may disguise the fact. This is an opportunity which should not be missed. If in the little affairs of every day, -- the trifles of life, those matters to which the rule de minimis non applies, -- a man is inconsiderate and seeks only what is advantageous or convenient to himself, to the prejudice of others' rights; if he appropriates to himself that which belongs to all alike, you may be sure there is no justice in his heart, and that he would be a scoundrel on a wholesale scale, only that law and compulsion bind his hands. Do not trust him beyond your door. He who is not afraid to break the laws of his own private circle, will break those of the State when he can do so with impunity.
[tr. Saunders (1890)]

Men best show their character in trifles, where they are not on their guard. It is in insignificant matters, and in the simplest habits, that we often see the boundless egotism which pays no regard to the feeling of others, and denies nothing to itself.
[In Tryon Edwards, A Dictionary of Thoughts, "Character" (1891); this is the version quoted most often.]

Fielding, Henry -- Covent Garden Journal, #56 (25 Jul 1752)

Dave — Mon, 08 Nov 2021 17:52:11 +0000

At the Conclusion of my last Paper, I asserted that the Summary of Good Breeding was no other than that comprehensive and exalted Rule, which the greatest Authority hath told is is the Sum Total of all Religion and all Morality.

Here, however, my Readers will be pleased to observe that the subject Matter of good Breeding being only what is called Behavior, it is this only to which we are to apply it on the present Occasion. Perhaps therefore we shall be better understood if we vary the Word, and read it thus: Behave unto all Men, as you would they should be behave unto you.

This will most certainly oblige us to treat all Mankind with the utmost Civility and Respect, there being nothing which we desire more than to be treated so by them.

Henry Fielding (1707-1754) English novelist, dramatist, satirist
Covent Garden Journal, #56 (25 Jul 1752)
(Source)

Aristotle -- Attributed in Diogenes Laërtius, Lives and Opinions of Eminent Philosophers [Vitae Philosophorum], Book 5, sec. 11 [tr. Yonge (1853)]

Dave — Tue, 21 Sep 2021 14:09:19 +0000

The question was once put to him, how we ought to behave to our friends; and the answer he gave was, “As we should wish our friends to behave to us.”

[ἐρωτηθεὶς πῶς ἂν τοῖς φίλοις προσφεροίμεθα, ἔφη, “ὡς ἂν εὐξαίμεθα αὐτοὺς ἡμῖν προσφέρεσθαι.”]

Aristotle (384-322 BC) Greek philosopher
Attributed in Diogenes Laërtius, Lives and Opinions of Eminent Philosophers [Vitae Philosophorum], Book 5, sec. 11 [tr. Yonge (1853)]
(Source)

(Source (Greek)). Alternate translations:

To the question how we should behave to friends, he answered, "As we should wish them to behave to us."
[tr. Hicks (1925), sec. 21]

When asked how we should act towards friends, he said “as we would pray they act towards us!”
[tr. @sentantiq (2016)]

When asked how we should behave to friends, he said, "As we would wish them to behave to us."
[tr. Mensch (2018)]

Springer, Jerry -- Interview by Stephanie Ruhle, MSNBC, @1:12 (1 Nov 2019)

Dave — Wed, 07 Jul 2021 21:12:28 +0000

We can’t function as a society unless we have norms of how to behave. You can’t pass enough laws to take care of every human interaction.

Jerry Springer (b. 1944) Anglo-American broadcaster, actor, producer, politician
Interview by Stephanie Ruhle, MSNBC, @1:12 (1 Nov 2019)
(Source)

Rejali, Darius -- In Jane Mayer, “Torture and the Truth,” New Yorker (14 Dec 2014)

Dave — Mon, 03 May 2021 20:21:27 +0000

Nothing predicts future behavior as much as past impunity.

Darius Rejali (b. c. 1959) Iranian-American academic, political scientist
In Jane Mayer, “Torture and the Truth,” New Yorker (14 Dec 2014)
(Source)

Cleckley, Hervey -- The Mask of Sanity (1950 ed.)

Dave — Thu, 15 Apr 2021 21:17:14 +0000

Alcohol is not likely to bring out any impulse that is not already potential in a personality, nor is it likely to cast behavior into patterns for which there is not already significant subsurface predilection. The alcohol merely facilitates expression by narcotizing inhibitory processes. […] The oil which lubricates the engine of an automobile neither furnishes the energy for its progress nor directs it.

Hervey Cleckley (1903-1984) American psychiatrist, academic
The Mask of Sanity (1950 ed.)
(Source)

Dolnick, Edward -- Madness on the Couch, ch. 18 (1998)

Dave — Wed, 07 Apr 2021 14:51:58 +0000

From the simple observation that mental illness is marked by odd behavior flows a host of problems. For nothing seems clearer than that we are responsible for our behavior; from there, it seems only a small step to the conclusion that a disease characterized by strange behavior must be a disease under our control. And so we appeal to willpower in the devout belief that we can think our way to mental health. We advise the victim of depression to look on the bright side; we tell the person in the midst of a sky-high manic episode to take a deep breath and calm down. When it comes to mental illness, we are all Christian Scientists.

Edward Dolnick (b. 1952) American writer
Madness on the Couch, ch. 18 (1998)
(Source)

Lippmann, Walter -- Men of Destiny, ch. 8 “The Nature of the Battle Over Censorship,” sec. 2 (1927)

Dave — Wed, 02 Dec 2020 18:04:19 +0000

No one has ever been known to decline to serve on a committee to investigate radicals on the ground that so much exposure to their doctrines would weaken his patriotism, nor on a vice commission on the ground that it would impair his morals. Anything may happen inside the censor, but what counts is that in his outward appearances after his ordeal by temptation he is more than ever a paragon of the conforming virtues. Perhaps his appetites are satisfied by an inverted indulgence, but to a clear-sighted conservative that does not really matter. The conservative is not interested in innocent thoughts. He is interested in loyal behavior.

Walter Lippmann (1889-1974) American journalist and author
Men of Destiny, ch. 8 “The Nature of the Battle Over Censorship,” sec. 2 (1927)
(Source)

Lewis, C.S. -- Mere Christianity, ch. 10 “Nice People or New Men” (1952)

Dave — Wed, 30 Oct 2019 15:33:25 +0000

If conversion to Christianity makes no improvements in a man’s outward actions — if he continues to be just as snobbish or spiteful or envious or ambitious as he was before — then I think we must suspect that his “conversion” was largely imaginary; and after one’s original conversion, every time one thinks one has made an advance, that is the test to apply. Fine feelings, new insights, greater interest in “religion” mean nothing unless they make our actual behavior better.

C. S. Lewis (1898-1963) English writer, literary scholar, lay theologian [Clive Staples Lewis]
Mere Christianity, ch. 10 “Nice People or New Men” (1952)
(Source)

De Angelis, Barbara -- Ask Barbara: The 100 Most-Asked Questions About Love, Sex, and Relationships (1997)

Dave — Fri, 25 May 2018 22:30:08 +0000

Marriage is not a noun, it’s a verb. It’s not something you have, like a house or a car. It is not a piece of paper that proves you are husband and wife. Marriage is a behavior. It is a choice you make over and over again, reflected in the way you treat your partner every day.

Barbara De Angelis (b. 1951) American relationship consultant, lecturer, author
Ask Barbara: The 100 Most-Asked Questions About Love, Sex, and Relationships (1997)
(Source)

Burke, Edmund -- Letters on a Regicide Peace, Letter 1 (1796)

Dave — Thu, 07 Sep 2017 15:46:38 +0000

Manners are of more importance than laws. Upon them, in a great measure, the laws depend. The law touches us but here and there, and now and then. Manners are what vex or soothe, corrupt or purify, exalt or debase, barbarize or refine us, but a constant, steady, uniform, insensible operation, like that of the air we breathe in. They give their whole form and color to our lives. According to their quality, they aid morals, they supply them, or they totally destroy them.

Edmund Burke (1729-1797) Anglo-Irish statesman, orator, philosopher
Letters on a Regicide Peace, Letter 1 (1796)
(Source)

Emerson, Ralph Waldo -- “Solitude and Society,” Atlantic Monthly (1857-12)

Dave — Tue, 24 May 2016 13:38:27 +0000

For behavior, men learn it, as they take diseases, one of another.

Ralph Waldo Emerson (1803-1882) American essayist, lecturer, poet
“Solitude and Society,” Atlantic Monthly (1857-12)

Paraphrase of Shakespeare, King Henry IV, Part 2, Act 5, sc. 1: "It is certain that either wife bearing or ignorant carriage is caught, as men take diseases, one of another: therefore let men take heed of their company." Sometimes misattributed to Francis Bacon.

Franklin, Benjamin -- Poor Richard’s Almanack (1757)

Dave — Mon, 04 Apr 2016 13:29:00 +0000

Act uprightly, and despise Calumny; Dirt may stick to a Mud Wall, but not to polish’d Marble.

Benjamin Franklin (1706-1790) American statesman, scientist, philosopher, aphorist
Poor Richard’s Almanack (1757)

Shaw, George Bernard -- The Philanderer, Act 4 (1893)

Dave — Fri, 26 Feb 2016 16:41:57 +0000

The test of a man or woman’s breeding is how they behave in a quarrel.

George Bernard Shaw (1856-1950) Irish playwright and critic
The Philanderer, Act 4 (1893)

Cooper, James Fenimore -- The American Democrat (1838)

Dave — Fri, 05 Feb 2016 16:55:52 +0000

A refined simplicity is the characteristic of all high bred deportment, in every country.

James Fenimore Cooper (1789-1851) American novelist
The American Democrat (1838)

Chesterfield (Lord) -- Letter to his son, #128 (9 Oct 1747)

Dave — Fri, 29 Jan 2016 16:35:18 +0000

As I have often told you, politeness and good beeding are absolutely necessary to adorn any, or all other good qualities or talents. Without them, no knowledge, no perfection whatever, is seen in its best light. The scholar, without good breeding, is a pedant; the philosopher, a cynic; the soldier, a brute; and every man disagreeable.

Lord Chesterfield (1694-1773) English statesman, wit [Philip Dormer Stanhope]
Letter to his son, #128 (9 Oct 1747)
(Source)

La Rochefoucauld, Francois -- Réflexions ou sentences et maximes morales [Reflections; or Sentences and Moral Maxims], ¶216 (1665-1678) [tr. FitzGibbon (1957)]

Dave — Fri, 11 Dec 2015 16:20:40 +0000

Perfect valour is to behave, without witnesses, as one would act were all the world watching.

[La parfaite valeur est de faire sans témoins ce qu’on serait capable de faire devant tout le monde.]

François VI, duc de La Rochefoucauld (1613-1680) French epigrammatist, memoirist, noble
Réflexions ou sentences et maximes morales [Reflections; or Sentences and Moral Maxims], ¶216 (1665-1678) [tr. FitzGibbon (1957)]
(Source)

(Appeared in the 1st (1665) ed. as the similar:

[La pure valeur, s’il y en avoit, seroit de faire sans témoins ce qu’on est capable de faire devant le monde.]

(Source (French)). Other translations:

Pure Valour, if there were any such thing, would consist in the doing of that without witnesses, which it were able to do, if all the world were to be spectators thereof.
[tr. Davies (1669), ¶117]

True Valour would do all that, when alone, that it could do, if all the World were by.
[tr. Stanhope (1694), ¶217]

Perfect valour consists in doing without witnesses all we should be capable of doing before the whole world.
[pub. Donaldson (1783), ¶431; ed. Lepoittevin-Lacroix (1797), ¶207; ed. Carvill (1835), ¶367]

Perfect valor is to do unwitnessed what we should be capable of doing before all the world.
[ed. Gowens (1851), ¶225]

Perfect valour is to do without witnesses what one would do before all the world.
[tr. Bund/Friswell (1871), ¶216]

Perfect valor accomplishes without witnesses what anyone could do before the eyes of the world.
[tr. Heard (1917), ¶221]

Perfect courage consists in doing unobserved what we could do in the eyes of the world.
[tr. Stevens (1939), ¶216]

Perfect courage means doing unwitnessed what we would be capable of with the world looking on.
[tr. Kronenberger (1959), ¶216]

Perfect valor consists in doing without witnesses what one would be capable of doing before the world at large.
[tr. Tancock (1959), ¶216]

Perfect bravery is being able to do without witnesses what one would be able to do in front of everyone.
[tr. Siniscalchi (c. 1994)]

Perfect courage is to do without witnesses what one would do before all the world.
[tr. Whichello (2016) ¶216]

Perfect courage is to do without witnesses what one would be capable of doing with the world looking on.
[Source]

Van Gogh, Vincent -- Letter to Theo Van Gogh (Jul 1889)

Dave — Tue, 10 Nov 2015 15:05:31 +0000

Let’s not forget that the little emotions are the great captains of our lives, and we obey them without realizing it.

Vincent van Gogh (1853-1890) Dutch painter
Letter to Theo Van Gogh (Jul 1889)
(Source)

Gandhi, Mohandas -- (Attributed)

Dave — Mon, 26 Oct 2015 14:27:00 +0000

Keep your thoughts positive because your thoughts become your words.
Keep your words positive because your words become your behavior.
Keep your behavior positive because your behavior becomes your habits.
Keep your habits positive because your habits become your values.
Keep your values positive because your values become your destiny.

Mohandas Gandhi (1869-1948) Indian lawyer, anti-colonial nationalist, political ethicist [Mahatma Gandhi]
(Attributed)

Never specifically cited, and attributed with variations in the language. Also attributed as a Chinese or Buddhist proverb.

Scalzi, John -- “Being a Jerk About the Hugos: Not as Effective a Strategy as You Might Think”, Whatever (blog) (24 Aug 2015)

Dave — Mon, 14 Sep 2015 13:48:48 +0000

There is (usually) no crime in performing a jerk maneuver, or acting like a jerk. Everyone can, and has, acted like a jerk from time to time. It’s a regrettable but natural part of the human experience. But most people have the good sense to understand that acting like a jerk should not be a lifestyle choice, and that if you make it one, people will respond to you based on your choices.

John Scalzi (b. 1969) American writer
“Being a Jerk About the Hugos: Not as Effective a Strategy as You Might Think”, Whatever (blog) (24 Aug 2015)
(Source)

Roosevelt, Eleanor -- Column (1956-08), “If You Ask Me,” McCall’s Magazine, Vol. 83

Dave — Wed, 10 Jun 2015 12:55:21 +0000

I doubt that anyone does not really believe in God. People may think they don’t have any belief, but you will usually find that somewhere down in a human being’s soul there is a belief in something beyond himself. In any case, I would not judge a man’s character by his belief or unbelief. I would judge his character by his deeds; and no matter what he said about his beliefs, his behavior would soon show whether he was a man of good character or bad.

Eleanor Roosevelt (1884–1962) First Lady of the US (1933–1945), politician, diplomat, activist
Column (1956-08), “If You Ask Me,” McCall’s Magazine, Vol. 83
(Source)

When asked, "What standards do you use to judge a man's character when you know he doesn't believe in God?"

A slightly shortened version of this is sometimes given, e.g., in Carol Kelly-Gangi (ed.), Franklin and Eleanor Roosevelt: Their Essential Wisdom (2014): "[...] People may think they don’t have any belief, but you will usually find that there is a belief in something beyond himself. [...]"

Mencken, H. L. -- A Little Book in C Major, ch. 5, § 22 (1916)

Dave — Tue, 23 Sep 2014 12:28:11 +0000

The objection to Puritans is not that they try to make us think as they do, but that they try to make us do as they think.

H. L. Mencken (1880-1956) American writer and journalist [Henry Lewis Mencken]
A Little Book in C Major, ch. 5, § 22 (1916)
(Source)

Scalzi, John -- The Last Colony, ch. 4 (2007)

Dave — Wed, 17 Sep 2014 14:01:52 +0000

Teenagers can be idiotic and stupid, but teenagers also model their behavior from the signals they get from adults.

John Scalzi (b. 1969) American writer
The Last Colony, ch. 4 (2007)

Burgh, James -- The Dignity of Human Nature, Sec. 5 “Miscellaneous Thoughts on Prudence in Conversation” (1754)

Dave — Thu, 28 Aug 2014 12:28:59 +0000

There is hardly any bodily blemish which a winning behaviour will not conceal, or make tolerable; and there is no external grace which ill-nature or affectation will not deform.

James Burgh (1714-1775) British politician and writer
The Dignity of Human Nature, Sec. 5 “Miscellaneous Thoughts on Prudence in Conversation” (1754)
(Source)

Scalzi, John -- “Convention Harassment Policy Follow-Up,” blog entry (5 Jul 2013)

Dave — Wed, 30 Jul 2014 12:51:53 +0000

If your flirting strategy is indistinguishable from harassment, it’s not everyone else that’s the problem.

John Scalzi (b. 1969) American writer
“Convention Harassment Policy Follow-Up,” blog entry (5 Jul 2013)
(Source)

Clarke, Susanna -- Jonathan Strange and Mr. Norrell (2004)

Dave — Wed, 04 Jun 2014 14:09:29 +0000

“Well, I suppose one ought not to employ a magician and then complain that he does not behave like other people,” said Wellington.

Susanna Clarke (b. 1949) British author
Jonathan Strange and Mr. Norrell (2004)

Emerson, Ralph Waldo -- Journal (1864)

Dave — Fri, 03 Jan 2014 15:31:27 +0000

When believers and unbelievers live in the same manner — I distrust the religion.

Ralph Waldo Emerson (1803-1882) American essayist, lecturer, poet
Journal (1864)

Joubert, Joseph -- Pensées [Thoughts], ch. 16 “Des Mœurs publiques et privées; du Caractère des Nations [On Morality and the Character of Nations],” ¶ 38 (1850 ed.) [tr. Calvert (1866), ch. 12]

Dave — Mon, 15 Apr 2013 12:02:01 +0000

All luxury corrupts either the morals or the taste.

[Tout luxe corrompt ou les mœurs ou le goût.]

Joseph Joubert (1754-1824) French moralist, philosopher, essayist, poet
Pensées [Thoughts], ch. 16 “Des Mœurs publiques et privées; du Caractère des Nations [On Morality and the Character of Nations],” ¶ 38 (1850 ed.) [tr. Calvert (1866), ch. 12]
(Source)

(Source (French)). Alternate translations:

All luxury corrupts either conduct or taste.
[tr. Lyttelton (1899), ch. 15, ¶ 15]

Every form of extravagance corrupts either one's morals or one's taste.
[tr. Collins (1928), ch. 15]

James, Henry -- “The Art of Fiction,” Longman’s Magazine (4 Sep 1884)

Dave — Mon, 09 Jul 2012 12:30:22 +0000

What is character but the determination of incident? What is incident but the illustration of character?

Henry James (1843-1916) American writer
“The Art of Fiction,” Longman’s Magazine (4 Sep 1884)
(Source)

Carlyle, Thomas -- Sartor Resartus, Book 2, ch. 9 (1834)

Dave — Tue, 21 Apr 2009 12:49:32 +0000

But indeed Conviction, were it never so excellent, is worthless till it convert itself into Conduct. Nay properly Conviction is not possible ill then.

Thomas Carlyle (1795-1881) Scottish essayist and historian
Sartor Resartus, Book 2, ch. 9 (1834)
(Source)

Quoting Herr Teufelsdröckh.

This chapter first appeared in Fraser's Magazine for Town and Country, Vol. 9, No. 52 (1834-04).

Plato -- The Republic

Dave — Thu, 16 Aug 2007 14:19:11 +0000

You can discover more about a person in an hour of play than in a year of conversation.

Plato (c.428-347 BC) Greek philosopher
The Republic

~Other -- S. U. Sunrei

Dave — Sun, 01 Feb 2004 16:00:00 +0000

Visible goodwill is the strongest negotiation strategy. Don’t let somebody else determine your behavior.

(Other Authors and Sources)
S. U. Sunrei

Martin, Judith -- Miss Manners’ Guide to Excruciatingly Correct Behavior, Introduction (1983)

Dave — Sun, 01 Feb 2004 16:00:00 +0000

When Miss Manners observes people behaving rudely, she never steps in to correct them. She behaves politely to them, and then goes home and snickers about them afterward. That is what the well-bred person does.

Judith Martin (b. 1938) American author, journalist, etiquette expert [a.k.a. Miss Manners]
Miss Manners’ Guide to Excruciatingly Correct Behavior, Introduction (1983)
(Source)

Watterson, Bill -- Calvin and Hobbes (1991-01-19)

Dave — Sun, 01 Feb 2004 16:00:00 +0000

CALVIN: Well, Hobbes, I guess there’s a moral to all this.

HOBBES: What’s that?

CALVIN: “Snow goons are bad news.”

HOBBES: That lesson certainly ought to be inapplicable elsewhere.

CALVIN: I like maxims that don’t encourage behavior modification.

Bill Watterson (b. 1958) American cartoonist
Calvin and Hobbes (1991-01-19)
(Source)

Martin, Steve -- L. A. Story (1991)

Dave — Sun, 01 Feb 2004 16:00:00 +0000

HARRIS: Ordinarily, I don’t like to be around interesting people because it means I have to be interesting too.

SARA: Are you saying I’m interesting?

HARRIS: All I’m saying is that, when I’m around you, I find myself showing off, which is the idiot’s version of being interesting.

Steve Martin (b. 1945) American comedian, actor, writer, producer, musician
L. A. Story (1991)
(Source)