WIST Quotations

Herbert, George -- Poem (1614), “The Church-Porch,” ll. 305-306, The Temple (1633)

Dave — Thu, 20 Aug 2026 16:10:30 +0000

A civil guest
Will no more talk all, than eat all, the feast.

George Herbert (1593–1633) Welsh priest, orator, poet.
Poem (1614), “The Church-Porch,” ll. 305-306, The Temple (1633)

Benjamin Franklin quotes this poem (and, for a change, provides the attribution) in Poor Richard Improved (1748 ed.):

Herbert, the poet, says,

—— a well bred guest,
Will no more talk all than eat all the feast.

Billings, Josh -- Josh Billings’ Farmer’s Allminax, 1870-03 (1870 ed.)

Dave — Thu, 18 Dec 2025 16:48:51 +0000

I hope i shall never hav so mutch reputashun, that i shant feel obliged tew be civil.

[I hope I shall never have so much reputation, that I shan’t feel obliged to be civil.]

Josh Billings (1818–1885) American humorist, aphorist [pseud. of Henry Wheeler Shaw]
Josh Billings’ Farmer’s Allminax, 1870-03 (1870 ed.)

Watterson, Bill -- Calvin and Hobbes (1995-09-01)

Dave — Tue, 18 Nov 2025 17:04:33 +0000

CALVIN’S MOM: There would be more civility in this world if people didn’t take it as an invitation to walk on you.

Bill Watterson (b. 1958) American cartoonist
Calvin and Hobbes (1995-09-01)

Heinlein, Robert A. -- Friday, ch. 23 [Boss] (1983)

Dave — Thu, 21 Aug 2025 16:28:36 +0000

A dying culture invariably exhibits personal rudeness. Bad manners. Lack of consideration for others in minor matters. A loss of politeness, of gentle manners, is more significant than is a riot. […] This symptom is especially serious in that an individual displaying it never thinks of it as a sign of ill health but as proof of his/her strength.

Robert A. Heinlein (1907–1988) American writer
Friday, ch. 23 [Boss] (1983)

Bierce, Ambrose -- “Congratulation,” The Cynic’s Word Book (1906)

Dave — Tue, 09 Jan 2024 23:31:50 +0000

CONGRATULATION, n. The civility of envy.

Ambrose Bierce (1842–1914?) American writer and journalist
“Congratulation,” The Cynic’s Word Book (1906)

Included in The Devil's Dictionary (1911). Originally published in the "Devil's Dictionary" column in the San Francisco Wasp (1881-08-12).

De Levis, Pierre-Marc-Gaston -- Maximes et Essais sur Différents Sujets, “Pensées Détachées,” # 180 (1808)

Dave — Mon, 13 Mar 2023 15:20:14 +0000

It is because gold is rare that gilding has been invented, which, without having its solidity, has all its brilliance. — Thus, to replace the kindness we lack, we have devised politeness, which has all its appearance.

[C’est parce que l’or est rare que l’on a inventé la dorure, qui, sans en avoir la solidité, en a tout le brillant. Ainsi, pour remplacer la bonté qui nous manque, nous avons imaginé la politesse, qui en a toutes les apparences.]

Pierre-Marc-Gaston de Lévis (1764–1830) French noble, politician, author, aphorist
Maximes et Essais sur Différents Sujets, “Pensées Détachées,” # 180 (1808)

(Source (French)). Frequently misattributed to his more famous father, Francis de Gaston, first Duke de Lévis.

The full aphorism also includes a final clause, "et au défaut de vertu, nous avons l'honneur, qui en a l'éclat" ("and, in default of virtue, we have honor, which has its luster").

The French was incorporated in standard French grammar books for many years.

The English translation shows up in several cases without any attribution and in varied contexts (1, 2, 3).

Goethe, Johann von -- Elective Affinities [Die Wahlverwandtschaften], Part 2, ch. 5, “From Ottilie’s Journal [Aus Ottiliens Tagebuche]” (1809) [tr. Hollingdale (1971)]

Dave — Mon, 23 Jan 2023 15:16:33 +0000

The object of what we call deportment and good manners is to attain that which can otherwise be attained only by force or not even by force.

[Durch das, was wir Betragen und gute Sitten nennen, soll das erreicht werden, was außerdem nur durch Gewalt, oder auch nicht einmal durch Gewalt zur erreichen ist.]

Johann Wolfgang von Goethe (1749–1832) German poet, statesman, scientist
Elective Affinities [Die Wahlverwandtschaften], Part 2, ch. 5, “From Ottilie’s Journal [Aus Ottiliens Tagebuche]” (1809) [tr. Hollingdale (1971)]

(Source (German)). Other translation:

That which we call politeness and good breeding effects what otherwise can only be obtained by violence, or not even that.
[Niles ed. (1872)]

Sri Yukteswar Giri -- In Paramahansa Yogananda, Autobiography of a Yogi, ch. 12 (1946)

Dave — Mon, 24 Oct 2022 15:13:08 +0000

Good manners without sincerity are like a beautiful dead lady.

Sri Yukteswar Giri (1855–1936) Indian monk, yogi, guru [श्रीयुक्तेश्वर गिरि, b. Priya Nath Karar]
In Paramahansa Yogananda, Autobiography of a Yogi, ch. 12 (1946)

Della Casa, Giovanni -- Galateo: Or, A Treatise on Politeness and Delicacy of Manners [Il Galateo overo de’ costumi], ch. 1 (1558) [tr. Graves (1774)]

Dave — Mon, 22 Aug 2022 15:04:22 +0000

For tho’ it is certainly more laudable, and a thing of greater moment, to be generous, constant, and magnanimous, than merely to be polite and well bred; yet we find, from daily experience, that sweetness of manners, a genteel carriage, and, polite address are frequently of more advantage to those who are so happy as to be possessed of them, than any greatness of soul or brightness of parts are to those who are adorned with those more shining talents.

[E come che l’esser liberale o constante o magnanimo sia per sé sanza alcun fallo più laudabil cosa e maggiore che non è l’essere avenente e costumato, non di meno forse che la dolcezza de’ costumi e la convenevolezza de’ modi e delle maniere e delle parole giovano non meno a’ possessori di esse che la grandezza dell’animo e la sicurezza altresì a’ loro possessori non fanno.]

Giovanni della Casa (1503–1556) Florentine poet, author, diplomat, bishop
Galateo: Or, A Treatise on Politeness and Delicacy of Manners [Il Galateo overo de’ costumi], ch. 1 (1558) [tr. Graves (1774)]

(Source (Italian)). Other translations:

And albeit Liberalitie, or magnanimitie, of themselves beare a greater praise, then, to be a well taught or manored man: yet perchaunce, the courteous behaviour and entertainement with good maners and words, helpe no lesse, him that hath them: then the high minde and courage, advaunceth him in whome they be.
[tr. Peterson (1576)]

Although liberality, courage, or generosity are without doubt far greater and more praiseworthy things than charm and manners, none the less, pleasant habits and decorous manners and words are perhaps no less useful to those who have them than a noble spirit and self-assurance are to others.
[tr. Einsenbichler/Bartlett (1986)]

Della Casa, Giovanni -- Galateo: Or, A Treatise on Politeness and Delicacy of Manners [Il Galateo overo de’ costumi], ch. 2 (1558) [tr. Graves (1774)]

Dave — Mon, 15 Aug 2022 19:11:52 +0000

You ought to regulate your manner of behaviour towards others, not according to your own humour, but agreeably to the pleasure and inclination of those with whom you converse.

[Il che acciò che tu più agevolmente apprenda di fare, dèi sapere che a te convien temperare et ordinare i tuoi modi non secondo il tuo arbitrio, ma secondo il piacer di coloro co’ quali tu usi, et a quello indirizzargli.]

Giovanni della Casa (1503–1556) Florentine poet, author, diplomat, bishop
Galateo: Or, A Treatise on Politeness and Delicacy of Manners [Il Galateo overo de’ costumi], ch. 2 (1558) [tr. Graves (1774)]

(Source (Italian)). Other translations:

It behooves thee, to frame and order thy maners and doings, not according to thine owne minde and fashion: but to please those, with whome thou livest, and after that sort direct thy doings.
[tr. Peterson (1576)]

You must know that it will be to your advantage to temper and adapt your manners not according to your own choices but according to the pleasure of those with whom you are dealing and act accordingly.
[tr. Einsenbichler/Bartlett (1986)]

Shakespeare, William -- As You Like It, Act 2, sc. 7, l. 99ff (2.7.99-101) (1599)

Dave — Mon, 11 Jul 2022 16:27:12 +0000

ORLANDO:The thorny point
Of bare distress hath ta’en from me the show
Of smooth civility.

William Shakespeare (1564–1616) English dramatist and poet
As You Like It, Act 2, sc. 7, l. 99ff (2.7.99-101) (1599)

Schopenhauer, Arthur -- Parerga and Paralipomena, Vol. 1, “Aphorisms on the Wisdom of Life [Aphorismen zur Lebensweisheit],” ch. 5 “Counsels and Maxims [Paränesen und Maximen],” § 3.36 (1851) [tr. Payne (1974)]

Dave — Mon, 25 Apr 2022 17:16:48 +0000

Politeness is prudence and consequently rudeness is folly. To make enemies by being wantonly and unnecessarily rude is as crazy as setting one’s house on fire.

[Höflichkeit ist Klugheit; folglich ist Unhöflichkeit Dummheit: sich mittelst ihrer unnötiger und mutwilliger Weise Feinde machen ist Raserei, wie wenn man sein Haus in Brand steckt.]

Arthur Schopenhauer (1788–1860) German philosopher
Parerga and Paralipomena, Vol. 1, “Aphorisms on the Wisdom of Life [Aphorismen zur Lebensweisheit],” ch. 5 “Counsels and Maxims [Paränesen und Maximen],” § 3.36 (1851) [tr. Payne (1974)]

Source (German). Another translation:

It is a wise thing to be polite; consequently, it is a stupid thing to be rude. To make enemies by unnecessary and willful incivility, is just as insane a proceeding as to set your house on fire.
[tr. Saunders (1890)]

O'Connor, Sandra Day -- Speech, Wake Forest University, North Carolina (3 Apr 1993)

Dave — Mon, 18 Apr 2022 16:20:00 +0000

Unfortunately, civility is hard to codify or legislate, but you know it when you see it. It’s possible to disagree without being disagreeable.

Sandra Day O'Connor (b. 1930) American attorney, politician, Supreme Court justice (1981–2006)
Speech, Wake Forest University, North Carolina (3 Apr 1993)

At the dedication of the Worrell Professional Center. Quoted in "Justice O'Connor Criticizes Lawyers for 'Rambo' Tactics," Washington Post (4 Apr 1993).

Martin, Judith -- In “Polite Company,” interview by Hara Estroff Marano, Psychology Today (1998-03)

Dave — Mon, 07 Mar 2022 16:28:23 +0000

The hardest lesson — and this is what child-rearing and perhaps all of manners is about — is that there are other people in the world and you do have to take their feelings into consideration. It doesn’t mean you always have to yield to them, but it does mean that you have to know how to deal with them. A lot of people know that they want to be treated politely, but they don’t make that little leap and say, Well, the other person must feel that way, too.

Judith Martin (b. 1938) American author, journalist, etiquette expert [a.k.a. Miss Manners]
In “Polite Company,” interview by Hara Estroff Marano, Psychology Today (1998-03)

Martin, Judith -- In “Polite Company,” interview by Hara Estroff Marano, Psychology Today (1998-03)

Dave — Fri, 11 Feb 2022 18:09:36 +0000

The other part of it is [the belief that] if we just totally opened our souls to one another, we would love one another and get along. This trivializes the fact that people have deep and legitimately-held differences. People think, mistakenly, that etiquette means you have to suppress your differences. On the contrary, etiquette is what enables you to deal with them; it gives you a set of rules. On the floor of the Congress, you don’t say, “You’re a jerk and a crook”; you say, “I’m afraid the distinguished gentleman is mistaken about so and so.” Those are the things that enable you to settle your differences, to bring them out in the open. Everything else just starts battles.

Judith Martin (b. 1938) American author, journalist, etiquette expert [a.k.a. Miss Manners]
In “Polite Company,” interview by Hara Estroff Marano, Psychology Today (1998-03)

Martin, Judith -- In “Polite Company,” interview by Hara Estroff Marano, Psychology Today (1998-03)

Dave — Mon, 24 Jan 2022 17:42:28 +0000

The whole country wants civility. Why don’t we have it? It doesn’t cost anything. No federal funding, no legislation is involved. One answer is the unwillingness to restrain oneself. Everybody wants other people to be polite to them, but they want the freedom of not having to be polite to others.

Judith Martin (b. 1938) American author, journalist, etiquette expert [a.k.a. Miss Manners]
In “Polite Company,” interview by Hara Estroff Marano, Psychology Today (1998-03)

Gracián, Baltasar -- The Art of Worldly Wisdom [Oráculo Manual y Arte de Prudencia], § 118 (1647) [tr. Maurer (1992)]

Dave — Mon, 24 Jan 2022 16:24:11 +0000

Treat your enemies with courtesy, and you’ll see how valuable it really is. It costs little but pays a nice dividend: those who honor are honored.

[Tiénese por deuda entre enemigos para que se vea su valor. Cuesta poco y vale mucho: todo honrador es honrado.]

Baltasar Gracián y Morales (1601–1658) Spanish Jesuit priest, writer, philosopher
The Art of Worldly Wisdom [Oráculo Manual y Arte de Prudencia], § 118 (1647) [tr. Maurer (1992)]

(Source (Spanish)). Other translations:

[Civility] is even a duty, and in use amongst Enemies, which shews the power of it. Whoever honours is honoured.
[Flesher ed. (1685)]

Between opponents [courtesy] is especially due as a proof of valour. It costs little and helps much: every one is honoured who gives honour.
[tr. Jacobs (1892)]

Hold to [courtesy] as a matter of duty between enemies, for it exhibits our courage, costing little, and being worth much, for to show honor is to be honored.
[tr. Fischer (1937)]

Ivins, Molly -- Essay (1994-05-15), “My, Oh, My, It’s the Ninth Wonder of the World,” Creators Syndicate column, Fort Worth Star-Telegram

Dave — Mon, 03 Jan 2022 18:27:47 +0000

Nice is a pallid virtue. Not like honesty or courage or perseverance. On the other hand, in a nation frequently lacking in civility, there is much to be said for nice.

Molly Ivins (1944–2007) American writer, political columnist [Mary Tyler Ivins]
Essay (1994-05-15), “My, Oh, My, It’s the Ninth Wonder of the World,” Creators Syndicate column, Fort Worth Star-Telegram

Collected in You Go to Dance with Them What Brung You (1998).

Hayes, Helen -- Loving Life (1987) [with Marion Glasserow Gladney]

Dave — Mon, 29 Nov 2021 18:02:47 +0000

Civilization will cease without civility.

Helen Hayes (1900–1993) American actress
Loving Life (1987) [with Marion Glasserow Gladney]

Gandhi, Mohandas -- Autobiography : The Story of My Experiments with Truth>, ch. 24 (1927)

Dave — Mon, 15 Nov 2021 19:14:04 +0000

Civility does not here mean the mere outward gentleness of speech cultivated for the occasion, but an inborn gentleness and desire to do the opponent good.

Mohandas Gandhi (1869–1948) Indian lawyer, anti-colonial nationalist, political ethicist [Mahatma Gandhi]
Autobiography : The Story of My Experiments with Truth>, ch. 24 (1927)

Fielding, Henry -- Covent Garden Journal, #56 (25 Jul 1752)

Dave — Mon, 08 Nov 2021 17:52:11 +0000

At the Conclusion of my last Paper, I asserted that the Summary of Good Breeding was no other than that comprehensive and exalted Rule, which the greatest Authority hath told is is the Sum Total of all Religion and all Morality.

Here, however, my Readers will be pleased to observe that the subject Matter of good Breeding being only what is called Behavior, it is this only to which we are to apply it on the present Occasion. Perhaps therefore we shall be better understood if we vary the Word, and read it thus: Behave unto all Men, as you would they should be behave unto you.

This will most certainly oblige us to treat all Mankind with the utmost Civility and Respect, there being nothing which we desire more than to be treated so by them.

Henry Fielding (1707–1754) English novelist, dramatist, satirist
Covent Garden Journal, #56 (25 Jul 1752)

Bush, George W. -- Speech (2001-01-20), Inaugural Address, Washington, D. C.

Dave — Mon, 01 Nov 2021 18:15:08 +0000

Civility is not a tactic or a sentiment. It is the determined choice of trust over cynicism, of community over chaos.

George W. Bush (b. 1946) US President (2001–2009)
Speech (2001-01-20), Inaugural Address, Washington, D. C.

Taylor, Barbara Brown -- (Attributed)

Dave — Fri, 17 Sep 2021 16:08:41 +0000

The great thing about civility is that it does not require you to agree with or approve of anything. You don’t even have to love your neighbor to be civil. You just have to treat your neighbor the same way you would like your neighbor to treat your grandmother, or your child.

Barbara Brown Taylor (b. 1951) American minister, academic, author
(Attributed)

Springer, Jerry -- Interview by Stephanie Ruhle, MSNBC, @1:12 (1 Nov 2019)

Dave — Wed, 07 Jul 2021 21:12:28 +0000

We can’t function as a society unless we have norms of how to behave. You can’t pass enough laws to take care of every human interaction.

Jerry Springer (b. 1944) Anglo-American broadcaster, actor, producer, politician
Interview by Stephanie Ruhle, MSNBC, @1:12 (1 Nov 2019)

Loofbourow, Lili -- “This Is America,” Slate (19 Aug 2018)

Dave — Tue, 22 Jun 2021 16:56:24 +0000

The problem isn’t that our national character is too invested in civility. It’s that a certain segment of our population is desperate to be freed from it.

Lili Loofbourow (contemp.) American essayist, critic, author
“This Is America,” Slate (19 Aug 2018)

Spenser, Edmund -- The Faerie Queene, Book 6, Canto 1, st. 26 (1589-96)

Dave — Mon, 10 Aug 2020 16:52:04 +0000

But they that breake bands of civilitie,
And wicked customes make, those doe defame
Both noble armes and gentle curtesie.
No greater shame to man than inhumanitie.

Edmund Spenser (c. 1552–1599) English poet
The Faerie Queene, Book 6, Canto 1, st. 26 (1589-96)

Evans, Bergen -- Quoted in “The Euphemism: Telling It Like It Isn’t,” Time (19 Sep 1969)

Dave — Wed, 20 May 2020 19:32:51 +0000

Lying is an indispensable part of making life tolerable.

Bergen Evans (1904–1978) American educator, writer, lexicographer
Quoted in “The Euphemism: Telling It Like It Isn’t,” Time (19 Sep 1969)

Sometimes misquoted with the words "Euphemisms persist because," but these are non-quoted text leading up to the quotation.

Frankfurter, Felix -- Felix Frankfurter Reminiscences (1960) [ed. Harlan Phillips]

Dave — Fri, 16 Feb 2018 02:53:37 +0000

Morals are three-quarters manners.

Felix Frankfurter (1882–1965) American jurist, teacher; US Supreme Court Justice (1939–62)
Felix Frankfurter Reminiscences (1960) [ed. Harlan Phillips]

Repplier, Agnes -- “A Question of Politeness,” Americans and Others (1912)

Dave — Mon, 24 Apr 2017 22:35:19 +0000

For to be civilized is to be incapable of giving unnecessary offense, it is to have some quality of consideration for all who cross our path.

Agnes Repplier (1855–1950) American writer
“A Question of Politeness,” Americans and Others (1912)

Montagu, Mary Wortley -- Letter to Mary, Countess of Bute (30 May 1756)

Dave — Tue, 18 Apr 2017 00:29:34 +0000

Civility costs nothing, and buys everything.

Mary Wortley Montagu (1689–1762) English aristocrat, letter writer, poet [née Pierrepont]
Letter to Mary, Countess of Bute (30 May 1756)

~Proverbs and Sayings -- Yiddish proverb

Dave — Mon, 10 Apr 2017 17:35:20 +0000

Better a false “Good morning” than a sincere “Go to Hell.”

Proverbs, Sayings, and Adages
Yiddish proverb

Emerson, Ralph Waldo -- Essay (1860), “Considerations by the Way,” The Conduct of Life, ch. 7

Dave — Mon, 20 Mar 2017 22:36:17 +0000

The music that can deepest reach,
And cure all ill, is cordial speech.

Ralph Waldo Emerson (1803–1882) American essayist, lecturer, poet
Essay (1860), “Considerations by the Way,” The Conduct of Life, ch. 7

Based on a course of lectures by that name first delivered in Pittsburg (1851-03).

Pascal, Blaise -- (Attributed)

Dave — Mon, 13 Mar 2017 15:31:44 +0000

Kind words also produce their own image in men’s souls; and a beautiful image it is. They soothe and quiet and comfort the hearer. They shame him out of his sour, morose, unkind feelings. We have not yet begun to use kind words in such abundance as they ought to be used.

Blaise Pascal (1623–1662) French scientist and philosopher
(Attributed)

Often attributed without citation in 19th Century works, e.g., The Golden Rule and Odd-Fellows' Family Companion, Vol. 7 (1847).

Louis XIV -- (Attributed)

Dave — Mon, 27 Feb 2017 16:13:03 +0000

If a civil word or two will render a man happy, he must be a wretch indeed who will not give them to him.

Louis XIV (1638–1715) French monarch (1643–1715) [Louis the Great, the Sun King)
(Attributed)

Quoted in William Seward, Anecdotes of Distinguished Persons, Vol 4, 5th ed. (1804).

Johnson, Samuel -- Essay (1750-09-25), The Rambler, No. 50

Dave — Mon, 20 Feb 2017 20:09:39 +0000

When once the forms of civility are violated, there remains little hope of return to kindness or decency.

Samuel Johnson (1709–1784) English writer, lexicographer, critic
Essay (1750-09-25), The Rambler, No. 50

Couched as a letter to the paper from a woman.

Holmes, Oliver Wendell, Sr. -- Article (1858-01), “The Autocrat of the Breakfast-Table,” Atlantic Monthly

Dave — Mon, 13 Feb 2017 16:41:44 +0000

But remember that talking is one of the fine arts — the noblest, the most important, the most difficult — and its fluent harmonies may be spoiled by the intrusion of a single harsh note. Therefore conversation which is suggestive rather than argumentative, which lets out the most of each talker’s results of thought, is commonly the pleasantest and the most profitable.

Oliver Wendell Holmes, Sr. (1809–1894) American poet, essayist, scholar
Article (1858-01), “The Autocrat of the Breakfast-Table,” Atlantic Monthly

Collected in The Autocrat of the Breakfast Table, ch. 3 (1858).

Heinlein, Robert A. -- Time Enough for Love, “Notebooks of Lazarus Long” (1973)

Dave — Mon, 06 Feb 2017 21:26:05 +0000

Moving parts in rubbing contact require lubrication to avoid excessive wear. Honorifics and formal politeness provide lubrication where people rub together. Often the very young, the untraveled, the naive, the unsophisticated deplore these formalities as “empty,” “meaningless,” or “dishonest,” and scorn to use them. No matter how “pure” their motives, they thereby throw sand into machinery that does not work too well at best.

Robert A. Heinlein (1907–1988) American writer
Time Enough for Love, “Notebooks of Lazarus Long” (1973)

Graham, Harry -- “Politeness”

Dave — Mon, 30 Jan 2017 22:25:21 +0000

Be civil, then, to young and old,
Especially to persons who
Possess a quantity of gold
Which they might leave to you.
The more they have, it seems to me,
The more polite you ought to be.

Harry Graham (1874–1936) English journalist, poet, stage lyricist
“Politeness”

Paine, Thomas -- Common Sense, “Of the Present Ability of America” (1776)

Dave — Wed, 25 Jan 2017 18:31:49 +0000

Suspicion is the companion of mean souls, and the bane of all good society.

Thomas Paine (1737–1809) American political philosopher and writer
Common Sense, “Of the Present Ability of America” (1776)

Hazlitt, William -- Characteristics in the Manner of Rochefoucault’s Maxims, #188 (1837 ed.)

Dave — Mon, 23 Jan 2017 18:36:23 +0000

If we use no ceremony towards others, we shall be treated without any. People are soon tired of paying trifling attentions to those who receive them with coldness, and return them with neglect.

William Hazlitt (1778–1830) English writer
Characteristics in the Manner of Rochefoucault’s Maxims, #188 (1837 ed.)

Emerson, Ralph Waldo -- Journal (1840-05-10)

Dave — Tue, 06 Dec 2016 04:33:22 +0000

Conformity is the ape of harmony.

Ralph Waldo Emerson (1803–1882) American essayist, lecturer, poet
Journal (1840-05-10)

Franklin, Benjamin -- Poor Richard Improved (1748 ed.)

Dave — Fri, 19 Feb 2016 16:34:46 +0000

He is not well-bred, that cannot bear Ill-Breeding in others.

Benjamin Franklin (1706–1790) American statesman, scientist, philosopher, aphorist
Poor Richard Improved (1748 ed.)

This is sometimes noted as a restatement of a phrase in the introduction to Thomas Fuller's Gnomologia, (1732), but that reference to "well-bred People" doesn't seem to match the sentiment here at all.

Serling, Rod -- The Twilight Zone, 3×03 “The Shelter” (29 Sep 1961)

Dave — Fri, 12 Feb 2016 18:02:25 +0000

NARRATOR: No moral. No message. No prophetic tract. Just a simple statement of fact: for civilization to survive, the human race has to remain civilized. Tonight’s very small exercise in logic from the Twilight Zone.

Rod Serling (1924–1975) American screenwriter, playwright, television producer, narrator
The Twilight Zone, 3×03 “The Shelter” (29 Sep 1961)

Pirandello, Luigi -- The Pleasure of Honesty (1917) [tr. Murray]

Dave — Tue, 30 Jun 2015 15:45:13 +0000

Anyone can be heroic from time to time, but a gentleman is something which you have to be all the time. Which isn’t easy.

Luigi Pirandello (1867–1936) Italian novelist and dramatist
The Pleasure of Honesty (1917) [tr. Murray]

Edlund, Ben -- Firefly, 1×07 “Jaynestown” (18 Oct 2002)

Dave — Thu, 11 Jun 2015 13:06:29 +0000

SIMON: I swear — when it’s appropriate.

KAYLEE: Simon, the whole point of swearing is that it ain’t appropriate.

Ben Edlund (b. 1968) American cartoonist, writer, producer
Firefly, 1×07 “Jaynestown” (18 Oct 2002)

Heinlein, Robert A. -- Time Enough for Love [Lazarus Long] (1973)

Dave — Tue, 02 Jun 2015 13:14:50 +0000

Whenever the locals rub blue mud in their navels, I rub blue mud in mine just as solemnly.

Robert A. Heinlein (1907–1988) American writer
Time Enough for Love [Lazarus Long] (1973)

Shaftesbury, Earl of -- Characteristicks of Men, Manners, Opinions, Times, Vol. 1, “Sensus Communis” (1711)

Dave — Fri, 12 Dec 2014 13:24:11 +0000

All Politeness is owing to Liberty. We polish one another, and rub off our Corners and rough Sides by a sort of amicable Collision. To restrain this, is inevitably to bring a Rust upon Men’s Understandings.

Anthony Cooper, 3rd Earl of Shaftesbury (1671–1713) English politician and philosopher
Characteristicks of Men, Manners, Opinions, Times, Vol. 1, “Sensus Communis” (1711)

~Proverbs and Sayings -- Lebanese proverb

Dave — Fri, 01 Aug 2014 13:18:04 +0000

Lower your voice and strengthen your argument.

Proverbs, Sayings, and Adages
Lebanese proverb

Billings, Josh -- Everybody’s Friend, Or; Josh Billing’s Encyclopedia and Proverbial Philosophy of Wit and Humor, ch. 149 “Affurisms: Lightning Bugs” (1874)

Dave — Mon, 15 Oct 2012 11:27:23 +0000

I hope i shall never hav so mutch reputashun that i shan’t feel obliged to be alwus civil.

[I hope I shall never have so much reputation that I shan’t feel obliged to be always civil.]

Billings, Josh -- Everybody’s Friend, Or; Josh Billing’s Encyclopedia and Proverbial Philosophy of Wit and Humor, ch. 164 “Affurisms: Nosegays” (1874)

Dave — Mon, 01 Oct 2012 12:36:41 +0000

Giv every one you meet, my boy, the time ov day and haff the road, and if that dont make him civil dont waste enny more fragrance on the cuss.

[Give everyone you meet, my boy, the time of day and half the road, and if that don’t make him civil don’t waste any more fragrance on the cuss.]

Billings, Josh -- Everybody’s Friend, Or; Josh Billing’s Encyclopedia and Proverbial Philosophy of Wit and Humor, ch. 142 “Affurisms: Fust Impreshuns” (1874)

Dave — Mon, 13 Aug 2012 12:04:41 +0000

Politeness iz often wasted, but it iz a good and cheap mistake tew make.

[Politeness is often wasted, but it is a good and cheap mistake to make.]

Roosevelt, Theodore -- Letter (1900-01-26) to Henry L. Sprague

Dave — Wed, 02 Nov 2011 17:08:32 +0000

I have always been fond of the West African proverb “Speak softly and carry a big stick; you will go far.”

Theodore Roosevelt (1858–1919) American politician, statesman, conservationist, writer; US President (1901–09)
Letter (1900-01-26) to Henry L. Sprague

The letter to Sprague is is the first known use by Roosevelt of his future catch phrase. It attained more fame when he used it in a speech at the Minnesota State Fair (1901-09-02) (two versions found):

There is a homely adage which runs "Speak softly and carry a big stick; you will go far." If the American nation will speak softly and yet build and keep at a pitch of highest training a thoroughly efficient Navy, the Monroe Doctrine will go far.
[Speech (1901-09-02), "A Nation of Pioneers," Minnesota State Fair, Minneapolis]

A good many of you are probably acquainted with the old proverb "Speak softly and carry a big stick -- you will go far."
[Minneapolis Tribune (1901-09-03)]

Other significant references:

Right here let me make as vigorous a plea as I know how in favor of saying nothing that we do not mean, and of acting without hesitation up to whatever we say. A good many of you are probably acquainted with the old proverb, 'Speak softly and carry a big stick -- you will go far.' If a man continually blusters, if he lacks civility, a big stick will not save him from trouble, and neither will speaking softly avail, if back of the softness there does not lie strength, power.
[Speech (1903-04-02), Chicago]

One the main lessons to learn from this war is embodied in the homely proverb: "Speak softly and carry a big stick."
[America and the World War, ch. 2 "The Belgian Tragedy" (1915)]

The only safe rule [in foreign policy] is to promise little, and faithfully keep to every promise; to "speak softly and carry a big stick."
[Theodore Roosevelt: An Autobiography, ch. 15 "The Peace of Righteousness" (1913)]

More discussion here:

Heywood, John -- Proverbes, Part 1, ch. 9 (1546)

Dave — Wed, 04 May 2011 13:57:47 +0000

It hurteth not the toung to give faire words.

John Heywood (1497?-1580?) English playwright and epigrammist
Proverbes, Part 1, ch. 9 (1546)

Kennedy, John F. -- Inaugural Address (20 Jan 1961)

Dave — Wed, 12 Sep 2007 14:52:51 +0000

So let us begin anew — remembering on both sides that civility is not a sign of weakness, and sincerity is always subject to proof. Let us never negotiate out of fear. But let us never fear to negotiate.

John F. Kennedy (1917–1963) American politician, author, journalist, US President (1961–63)
Inaugural Address (20 Jan 1961)

Mencken, H. L. -- Minority Report: H.L. Mencken’s Notebooks, # 1 (1956)

Dave — Sun, 01 Feb 2004 19:00:00 +0000

We must respect the other fellow’s religion, but only in the sense and to the extent that we respect his theory that his wife is beautiful and his children are smart.

H. L. Mencken (1880–1956) American writer and journalist [Henry Lewis Mencken]
Minority Report: H.L. Mencken’s Notebooks, # 1 (1956)

Billings, Josh -- Everybody’s Friend, Or; Josh Billing’s Encyclopedia and Proverbial Philosophy of Wit and Humor, ch. 243 “Missellaneous: Private Opinyuns” (1874)

Dave — Sun, 01 Feb 2004 16:00:00 +0000

Mi private opinyun iz, that politeness haz won more sudden viktorys than logick haz.

[My private opinion is, that politeness has won more sudden victories than logic has.]

Josh Billings (1818–1885) American humorist, aphorist [pseud. of Henry Wheeler Shaw]
Everybody’s Friend, Or; Josh Billing’s Encyclopedia and Proverbial Philosophy of Wit and Humor, ch. 243 “Missellaneous: Private Opinyuns” (1874)

I have also seen second-hand reference (e.g.) to a variant of this -- "Politeness haz won more viktorys than logick ever haz" -- but have been unable to find it in Billings' works.

Twain, Mark -- Mark Twain’s Notebook [ed. Paine (1935)]

Dave — Sun, 01 Feb 2004 19:00:00 +0000

Good breeding consists in concealing how much we think of ourselves and how little we think of the other person.

Mark Twain (1835–1910) American writer [pseud. of Samuel Clemens]
Mark Twain’s Notebook [ed. Paine (1935)]