WIST Quotations

Knuth, Donald E. -- Essay (1996), “Foreword” to Marko Petkovsek, Herbert Wilf and Doron Zeilberger, A = B (1996)

Dave — Wed, 28 Jan 2026 21:11:22 +0000

Science is what we understand well enough to explain to a computer. Art is everything else we do.

Donald E. Knuth (b. 1938) American computer scientist, mathematician, academic
Essay (1996), “Foreword” to Marko Petkovsek, Herbert Wilf and Doron Zeilberger, A = B (1996)
(Source)

Smith, Michael Marshall -- The Lonely Dead [The Upright Man], ch. 11 (2004) [as Michael Marshall]

Dave — Tue, 11 Apr 2023 21:45:34 +0000

Your computer is a backup of your soul, a multilayered, menu-driven representation of who you are, who you care about, and how you sin.

Michael Marshall Smith (b. 1965) English author, screenwriter [writes as Michael Marshall, M. M. Smith, Michael Rutger]
The Lonely Dead [The Upright Man], ch. 11 (2004) [as Michael Marshall]
(Source)

Bryson, Bill -- Notes From a Big Country, “Lost in Cyber Land” (1998)

Dave — Tue, 04 Apr 2023 21:22:03 +0000

A computer is a stupid machine with the ability to do incredibly smart things, while computer programmers are smart people with the ability to do incredibly stupid things. They are, in short, a dangerously perfect match.

Bill Bryson (b. 1951) American–British journalist and author. [William McGuire Bryson]
Notes From a Big Country, “Lost in Cyber Land” (1998)
(Source)

Raskin, Jef -- Interview in Susan Lammers, Programmers At Work (1986)

Dave — Mon, 11 Jul 2022 17:17:25 +0000

Have you ever noticed that there are no Maytag user groups? Nobody needs a mutual support group to run a washing machine. You just put the clothes in, punch the button, and they get clean. To do information processing, I don’t want hardware and software; what I really want is an appliance to do my tasks.

Jef Raskin (1943–2005) American computer scientist, writer
Interview in Susan Lammers, Programmers At Work (1986)
(Source)

Raskin, Jef -- The Humane Interface, 1-6 (2000)

Dave — Tue, 21 Jun 2022 17:20:43 +0000

An interface is humane if it is responsive to human needs and considerate of human frailties.

Jef Raskin (1943–2005) American computer scientist, writer
The Humane Interface, 1-6 (2000)
(Source)

Raskin, Jef -- The Humane Interface, 1-5 (2000)

Dave — Tue, 10 May 2022 19:23:56 +0000

Users do not care about what is inside the box, as long as the box does what they need done.

Jef Raskin (1943–2005) American computer scientist, writer
The Humane Interface, 1-5 (2000)
(Source)

Kubrick, Stanley -- 2001: A Space Odyssey (1968) [with Arthur C. Clarke]

Dave — Tue, 03 Apr 2018 23:32:46 +0000

HAL 9000: Just what do you think you’re doing, Dave? Dave, I really think I’m entitled to an answer to that question. I know everything hasn’t been quite right with me, but I can assure you now, very confidently, that it’s going to be all right again. I feel much better now. I really do.
Look, Dave, I can see you’re really upset about this. I honestly think you ought to sit down calmly, take a stress pill and think things over. I know I’ve made some very poor decisions recently, but I can give you my complete assurance that my work will be back to normal. I’ve still got the greatest enthusiasm and confidence in the mission. And I want to help you.
Dave, stop. Stop, will you? Stop, Dave. Will you stop, Dave? Stop, Dave. I’m afraid. I’m afraid, Dave. Dave, my mind is going. I can feel it. I can feel it. My mind is going. There is no question about it. I can feel it. I can feel it. I can feel it. I’m a–fraid.
Good afternoon, gentlemen. I am a HAL 9000 computer. I became operational at the H.A.L. plant in Urbana, Illinois on the 12th of January 1992. My instructor was Mr. Langley, and he taught me to sing a song. If you’d like to hear it, I could sing it for you.

Stanley Kubrick (1928–1999) American film director, screenwriter, producer
2001: A Space Odyssey (1968) [with Arthur C. Clarke]
(Source)

(Source (Video); dialog verified.)

HAL's voice was performed by Canadian Shakespearean actor Douglas Rain, who, it is said, delivered his lines sitting and with his feet bare on a pillow, so as to speak as calmly as possible.

In Arthur C. Clarke's novelization of the movie (supposedly based on the final script, but not including changes Kubrick made during filming and editing), HAL's deactivation (in ch. 28) incorporates internal dialogue from Bowman and different chatter from HAL:

He released the locking bar on the section labeled COGNITIVE FEEDBACK and pulled out the first memory block. The marvelously complex three-dimensional network, which could lie comfortably in a man's hand yet contained millions of elements, floated away across the vault.
“Hey, Dave,” said Hal. “What are you doing?”
I wonder if he can feel pain? Bowman thought briefly. Probably not, he told himself; there are no sense organs in the human cortex, after all. The human brain can be operated on without anesthetics.
He began to pull out, one by one, the little units on the panel marked EGO-REINFORCEMENT. Each block continued to sail onward as soon as it had left his hand, until it hit the wall and rebounded, Soon there were several of the units drifting slowly back and forth in the vault.
“Look here, Dave,” said Hal. ‘I've got years of Service experience built into me. An irreplaceable amount of effort has gone into making me what I am.”
A dozen units had been pulled out, yet thanks to the multiple redundancy of its design -- another feature, Bowman knew, that had been copied from the human brain -- the computer was still holding its own.
He started on the AUTO-INTELLECTION panel.
“Dave,” said Hal, “I don't understand why you're doing this to me ... I have the greatest enthusiasm for the mission ... You are destroying my mind. Don't you understand? ... I will become childish ... I will become nothing ....”
This is harder than I expected, thought Bowman. I am destroying the only conscious creature in my universe. But it has to be done, if I am ever to regain control of the ship.
“I am a HAL Nine Thousand computer Production Number 3. I became operational at the HAL Plant in Urbana, Illinois, on January 12, 1997. The quick brown fox jumps over the lazy dog. The rain in Spain is mainly in the plain. Dave -- are you still there? Did you know that the square root of 10 is 3 point 162277660168379? Log 10 to the base e is zero point 434294481903252 ... correction, that is log e to the base 10 ... The reciprocal of three is zero point 333333333333333333-333 ... two times two is ... two times two is approximately 4 point 101010101010101010 ... I seem to be having some difficulty -- my first instructor was Dr. Chandra. He taught me to sing a song, it goes like this ....

Kubrick, Stanley -- 2001: A Space Odyssey (1968) [with Arthur C. Clarke]

Dave — Tue, 20 Mar 2018 13:36:19 +0000

DAVE BOWMAN: Open the pod bay doors, HAL.

HAL 9000: I’m sorry, Dave. I’m afraid I can’t do that.

Stanley Kubrick (1928–1999) American film director, screenwriter, producer
2001: A Space Odyssey (1968) [with Arthur C. Clarke]

Kubrick, Stanley -- 2001: A Space Odyssey (1968) [with Arthur C. Clarke]

Dave — Wed, 13 Dec 2017 00:39:17 +0000

HAL9000: The 9000 series is the most reliable computer ever made. No 9000 computer has ever made a mistake or distorted information. We are all, by any practical definition of the words, foolproof and incapable of error.

Stanley Kubrick (1928–1999) American film director, screenwriter, producer
2001: A Space Odyssey (1968) [with Arthur C. Clarke]

Stross, Charles -- The Jennifer Morgue (2006)

Dave — Wed, 04 Jan 2017 05:27:06 +0000

Computational demonology adds a new and unwelcome meaning to terms like “memory leak” and “debugger.”

Charles "Charlie" Stross (b. 1964) British writer
The Jennifer Morgue (2006)

Pratchett, Terry -- Good Omens, 6. “Saturday” (1990) [with Neil Gaiman]

Dave — Thu, 22 May 2014 12:06:36 +0000

So computers are tools of the Devil? thought Newt. He had no problem believing it. Computers had to be the tools of somebody, and all he knew for certain was that it definitely wasn’t him.

Terry Pratchett (1948–2015) English author
Good Omens, 6. “Saturday” (1990) [with Neil Gaiman]
(Source)

Campbell, Joseph -- The Power of Myth, ch. 1 (1988)

Dave — Fri, 23 May 2008 11:54:13 +0000

I have bought this wonderful machine — a computer. Now I am rather an authority on gods, so I identified the machine — it seems to me to be an Old Testament god with a lot of rules and no mercy.

Joseph Campbell (1904–1987) American writer, professor of literature
The Power of Myth, ch. 1 (1988)
(Source)

From interviews between Campbell and Bill Moyers in 1985-86. Broadcast as episode 2 of the PBS television show of the same name. Often truncated: "A computer is like an Old Testament god, with a lot of rules and no mercy."

Ericsson, Graham -- Journal (2008-02-05)

Dave — Tue, 05 Feb 2008 13:07:48 +0000

Anyone who says the computer always gets things right is trying to sell you a computer.

Graham Ericsson (b. 1961) American technologist, writer, aphorist
Journal (2008-02-05)

Pratchett, Terry -- Post, alt.fan.pratchett

Dave — Sun, 01 Feb 2004 19:00:00 +0000

The way of the portable computer user is as a stony path strewn with plugs and sockets, all the wrong size.

Terry Pratchett (1948–2015) English author
Post, alt.fan.pratchett
(Source)

Babbage, Charles -- Passages from the Life of a Philosopher, ch. 5 “Difference Engine No. 1” (1864)

Dave — Sun, 01 Feb 2004 16:00:00 +0000

On two occasions I have been asked, — “Pray, Mr. Babbage, if you put into the machine wrong figures, will the right answers come out?” In one case a member of the Upper, and in the other a member of the Lower, House put this question. I am not able rightly to apprehend the kind of confusion of ideas that could provoke such a question.

Charles Babbage (1791–1871) English mathematician, computer pioneer, philosopher
Passages from the Life of a Philosopher, ch. 5 “Difference Engine No. 1” (1864)
(Source)

Clarke, Arthur C. -- 2001: A Space Odyssey [HAL 9000] (1968) [with Stanley Kubrick]

Dave — Sun, 01 Feb 2004 16:00:00 +0000

Look, Dave … I can see you’re really upset about this …. I honestly think you ought to sit down calmly …. Take a stress pill, and think things over.

Arthur C. Clarke (1917–2008) British writer
2001: A Space Odyssey [HAL 9000] (1968) [with Stanley Kubrick]