Montaigne, Michel de -- Essays, Book 1, ch. 14 (1.14), “The Taste of Good and Bad Things Depends Mostly on the Opinion We Have of Them [Que le goust des biens et des maux despend en bonne partie de l’opinion que nous en avons]” (1572) [tr. HyperEssays (2023)]

Dave — Wed, 03 Apr 2024 18:13:59 +0000

There is nothing I hate more than haggling. It is simply a petty and brazen business: Two parties will negotiate and argue for an hour only to walk away from what they have solemnly agreed to over five pennies’ worth of overcharge.

[Il n’est rien que je haysse comme à marchander : c’est un pur commerce de trichoterie et d’impudence. Apres une heure de debat et de barguignage, l’un et l’autre abandonne sa parolle et ses sermens pour cinq sous d’amendement.]

Michel de Montaigne (1533-1592) French essayist
Essays, Book 1, ch. 14 (1.14), “The Taste of Good and Bad Things Depends Mostly on the Opinion We Have of Them [Que le goust des biens et des maux despend en bonne partie de l’opinion que nous en avons]” (1572) [tr. HyperEssays (2023)]
(Source)

Though this chapter was written around 1572 for the 1580 edition, this text was added for the 1588 edition. The chapter as a whole was numbered ch. 14 in the 1580 and 1588 editions, moved to ch. 40 for the 1595 ed. Most modern translations use the original numbering.

(Source (French)). Alternate translations:

There is nothing I hate more then driving of bargains: It is a meere commerce of dodging and impudencie. After an houres debating and paltring, both parties will goe from their wordes and oathes for the getting or saving of a shilling.
[tr. Florio (1603), ch. 40]

There is nothing I hate so much, as driving a Bargain; ’tis a meer Traffick of Couzenage and Impudence; where after an Hours cheapning and dogding, both Parties abandon their Word and Oath for Five Sols profit, or abatement.
[tr. Cotton (1686), ch. 40]

There is nothing I hate so much as driving a bargain; 'tis a mere traffic of cozenage and impudence, where, after an hour's cheapening and hesitating, both parties abandon their word and oath for five sols' abatement.
[tr. Cotton/Hazlitt (1877), ch. 40]

There is nothing that I hate so much as haggling; it is a mere interchange of cheating and impudence. Afer an hour of wrangling and chaffering, one and the other side sacrifices his word and his oaths for a charge of five sous.
[tr. Ives (1925)]

There is nothing I hate like bargaining. It is a pure interchange of trickery and shamelessness: after an hour of disputing and haggling both men go back on their word and their oath for a gain of five sous.
[tr. Frame (1943)]

There is nothing I hate more than bargaining. It is a pure exchange of trickery and effrontery: after hours of arguing and haggling both sides go back on their pledged word to gain a few pence more.
[tr. Screech (1987)]

Beaverbrook (Lord) -- “As O. O. McIntyre Sees It,” syndicated column (2 Jan 1937)

Dave — Fri, 15 Mar 2013 12:40:12 +0000

Someone sends me a clipping from Columnist Lyons with this honey: “They are telling this of Lord Beaverbrook and a visiting Yankee actress. In a game of hypothetical questions, Beaverbrook asked the lady: ‘Would you live with a stranger if he paid you one million pounds?’ She said she would. ‘And if be paid you five pounds?’ The irate lady fumed: ‘Five pounds. What do you think I am?’ Beaverbrook replied: ‘We’ve already established that. Now we are trying to determine the degree.'”

Max Aitken, Lord Beaverbrook (1879-1964) Anglo-Canadian business tycoon, publisher, politician, writer
“As O. O. McIntyre Sees It,” syndicated column (2 Jan 1937)

This anecdote has been attributed to a number of people, including Winston Churchill and George Bernard Shaw, usually in a bawdier form, e.g.:

SHAW: [To a woman seated by him at a dinner party.] Madam, if I gave you a million pounds, would you sleep with me?
WOMAN: I think I would.
SHAW: Would you do it for five?
WOMAN: Sir, what kind of woman do you think I am?
SHAW: I thought we had established that, and were merely haggling over the price.

The above, attributing the exchange to Lord Beaverbrook, is the earliest version found. See here and here for more discussion and research into its origins.

WIST Quotations

Montaigne, Michel de -- Essays, Book 1, ch. 14 (1.14), “The Taste of Good and Bad Things Depends Mostly on the Opinion We Have of Them [Que le goust des biens et des maux despend en bonne partie de l’opinion que nous en avons]” (1572) [tr. HyperEssays (2023)]

Beaverbrook (Lord) -- “As O. O. McIntyre Sees It,” syndicated column (2 Jan 1937)