WIST Quotations

Twain, Mark -- Inscription (1908-02), Eve’s Diary (1906-06)

Dave — Fri, 27 Feb 2026 22:27:01 +0000

Clothes make the man, but they do not improve the woman.

Mark Twain (1835-1910) American writer [pseud. of Samuel Clemens]
Inscription (1908-02), Eve’s Diary (1906-06)
(Source)

Handwritten inscription in the front of a first edition of Eve's Dairy. The book was banned in several locations for including illustrations (by Lester Ralph) showing a naked Eve.

See also Twain for more information.

Franklin, Benjamin -- Poor Richard (1733)

Dave — Tue, 20 Jun 2023 16:33:03 +0000

The proof of gold is fire, the proof of woman, gold; the proof of man, a woman.

Benjamin Franklin (1706-1790) American statesman, scientist, philosopher, aphorist
Poor Richard (1733)
(Source)

Barry, Dave -- The Greatest Invention in the History of Mankind is Beer (2001)

Dave — Thu, 07 Jul 2022 17:19:56 +0000

The commitment problem has caused many women to mistakenly conclude that men, as a group, have the emotional maturity of hamsters. This is not the case. A hamster is much more capable of making a lasting commitment to a woman, especially if she gives it those little food pellets. Whereas a guy, in a relationship, will consume the pellets of companionship, and he will run on the exercise wheel of lust, but as soon as he senses the door of commitment is about to close and trap him in the wire cage of true intimacy, he’ll squirm out, scamper across the kitchen floor of uncertainty, and hide under the refrigerator of nonreadiness.

Dave Barry (b. 1947) American humorist, author, columnist
The Greatest Invention in the History of Mankind is Beer (2001)
(Source)

Antrim, Minna -- Naked Truth and Veiled Allusions (1901)

Dave — Fri, 03 Sep 2021 20:31:47 +0000

Man forgives woman anything save the wit to outwit him.

Minna Antrim (1861-1950) American epigrammatist, writer
Naked Truth and Veiled Allusions (1901)

Marshall Paule -- The Chosen Place, The Timeless People (1969)

Dave — Mon, 19 Jul 2021 22:11:57 +0000

A man can’t help his feelings sometime. He don’t even understand his damn self half the time and there the trouble starts.

Paule Marshall (1929-2019) American writer
The Chosen Place, The Timeless People (1969)
(Source)

Alcott, Louisa May -- Diary (1843-09-01)

Dave — Tue, 21 Apr 2020 22:31:21 +0000

Father asked us what was God’s noblest work. Anna said men, but I said babies. Men are often bad; babies never are.

Louisa May Alcott (1832-1888) American writer
Diary (1843-09-01)
(Source)

Quoted in Edna D. Cheney, ed., Louisa May Alcott: Her Life, Letters, and Journals (1889)

Otway, Thomas -- Venice Preserv’d, Act 1, sc. 1 (1682)

Dave — Wed, 25 Oct 2017 01:03:33 +0000

O woman! lovely woman! Nature made thee
To temper man: we had been brutes without you.
Angels are painted fair, to look like you:
There’s in you all that we believe of heaven, —
Amazing brightness, purity, and truth,
Eternal joy, and everlasting love.

Thomas Otway (1652-1685) English dramatist
Venice Preserv’d, Act 1, sc. 1 (1682)
(Source)

Kipling, Rudyard -- Plain Tales from the Hills, “Three and — an Extra” (1888)

Dave — Fri, 17 Mar 2017 19:23:59 +0000

The silliest woman can manage a clever man; but it needs a very clever woman to manage a fool!

Rudyard Kipling (1865-1936) English writer
Plain Tales from the Hills, “Three and — an Extra” (1888)

Bronte, Anne -- The Tenant of Wildfell Hall, ch. 32 [Ralph to Milicent] (1848)

Dave — Thu, 23 Feb 2017 16:55:32 +0000

A man must have something to grumble about; and if he can’t complain that his wife harries him to death with her perversity and ill-humour, he must complain that she wears him out with her kindness and gentleness.

Anne Brontë (1820-1849) British novelist, poet [pseud. Acton Bell]
The Tenant of Wildfell Hall, ch. 32 [Ralph to Milicent] (1848)

De Stael, Germaine -- Corinne, Book 14, ch. 1 (1807)

Dave — Tue, 09 Feb 2016 14:33:44 +0000

Ought not every woman, like every man, to follow the bent of her own talents?

Germaine de Staël (1766-1817) Swiss-French writer, woman of letters, critic, salonist [Anne Louise Germaine de Staël-Holstein, Madame de Staël, Madame Necker]
Corinne, Book 14, ch. 1 (1807)

Tarkington, Booth -- Penrod, ch. 10 (1914)

Dave — Mon, 25 Jan 2016 20:49:23 +0000

Besides, there are two things that will be believed of any man whatsoever, and one of them is that he has taken to drink.

Booth Tarkington (1869-1946) American novelist and dramatist
Penrod, ch. 10 (1914)
(Source)

Twain, Mark -- Following the Equator, ch. 27, epigraph (1897)

Dave — Fri, 22 Jan 2016 17:53:24 +0000

Man is the Only Animal that Blushes. Or needs to.

Mark Twain (1835-1910) American writer [pseud. of Samuel Clemens]
Following the Equator, ch. 27, epigraph (1897)
(Source)

Mencken, H. L. -- The New York Evening Mail (15 Nov 1917)

Dave — Wed, 13 Jan 2016 14:12:05 +0000

Man is always looking for someone to boast to; woman is always looking for someone to complain to.

H. L. Mencken (1880-1956) American writer and journalist [Henry Lewis Mencken]
The New York Evening Mail (15 Nov 1917)

A year later he wrote: "Man is always looking for someone to boast to; woman is always looking for a shoulder to put her head on." [In Defense of Women (1918)]

Aaronovitch, Ben -- Whispers Under Ground (2012)

Dave — Wed, 16 Dec 2015 15:07:41 +0000

Like young men from the dawn of time, I decided to choose the risk of death over certain humiliation.

Ben Aaronovitch (b. 1964) British author
Whispers Under Ground (2012)

Williams, Robin -- (Attributed)

Dave — Thu, 22 Oct 2015 13:42:12 +0000

The problem is that God gives men a brain and a penis, and only enough blood to run one at a time.

Robin Williams (1951-2014) American comedian and actor
(Attributed)

Adams, Abigail -- Letter to John Adams (31 Mar 1776)

Dave — Fri, 05 Jun 2015 20:39:31 +0000

That your Sex are Naturally Tyrannical is a Truth so thoroughly established as to admit of no dispute, but such of you as wish to be happy willingly give up the harsh title of Master for the more tender and endearing one of Friend. Why, then, not put it out of the power of the vicious and the Lawless to use us with cruelty and indignity with impunity? Men of Sense in all Ages abhor those customs which treat us only as the vassals of your sex; regard us then as Beings placed by Providence under your protection, and in imitation of the Supreme Being make use of that power only for our happiness.

Abigail Adams (1744-1818) American correspondent, First Lady (1797-1801)
Letter to John Adams (31 Mar 1776)

Barrie, James -- What Every Woman Knows, Act 4 (1918)

Dave — Thu, 30 Apr 2015 12:03:51 +0000

MAGGIE: Every man who is high up loves to think that he has done it all himself; and the wife smiles, and lets it go at that.

J. M. Barrie (1860-1937) Scottish novelist and dramatist [James Matthew Barrie]
What Every Woman Knows, Act 4 (1918)
(Source)

Deval, Jacques -- Afin de vivre bel et bien (1970)

Dave — Mon, 02 Feb 2015 13:09:16 +0000

God loved the birds and invented trees.
Man loved the birds and invented cages.

Jacques Deval (1895-1972) French playwright and director [pseud. of Jacques Boularan]
Afin de vivre bel et bien (1970)

Shaw, George Bernard -- Man and Superman, Act 1, l. 184-188 (1903)

Dave — Fri, 06 Jun 2014 14:06:22 +0000

TANNER: Of all human struggles there is none so treacherous and remorseless as the struggle between the artist man and the mother woman. Which shall use up the other? That is the issue between them. And it is all the deadlier because, in your romanticist cant, they love one another.
OCTAVIUS: Even if it were so — and I don’t admit it for a moment — it is out of the deadliest struggles that we get the noblest characters.
TANNER: Remember that the next time you meet a grizzly bear or a Bengal tiger, Tavy.
OCTAVIUS: I meant where there is love, Jack.
TANNER: Oh, the tiger will love you. There is no love sincerer than the love of food. I think Ann loves you that way: she patted your cheek as if it were a nicely underdone chop.

George Bernard Shaw (1856-1950) Irish playwright and critic
Man and Superman, Act 1, l. 184-188 (1903)
(Source)

Often just the "There is no love sincerer than the love of food" portion is quoted.

Dunne, Finley Peter -- “Mr. Dooley on Alcohol,” Chicago Tribune (26 Apr 1914)

Dave — Fri, 10 May 2013 13:32:55 +0000

Alcohol is nicissary f’r a man so that now an’ thin he can have a good opinion iv himsilf, ondisturbed be th’ facts.

[Alcohol is necessary for a man so that now and then he can have a good opinion of himself, undisturbed by the facts.]

Finley Peter Dunne (1867-1936) American humorist and journalist
“Mr. Dooley on Alcohol,” Chicago Tribune (26 Apr 1914)

Bailey, Philip James -- Festus, Sc. “A Visit” [Festus] (1839)

Dave — Mon, 02 Aug 2010 14:43:57 +0000

Art is man’s nature; nature is God’s art.

Philip James Bailey (1816-1902) English poet, lawyer
Festus, Sc. “A Visit” [Festus] (1839)
(Source)

Ingersoll, Robert Green -- “The Liberty of Man, Woman, and Child” (1877)

Dave — Tue, 23 Sep 2008 09:50:44 +0000

You had better be the emperor of one loving and tender heart, and she the empress of yours, than to be king of the world. The man who has really won the love of one good woman in this world, I do not care if he dies in the ditch a beggar, his life has been a success.

Robert Green Ingersoll (1833-1899) American lawyer, freethinker, orator
“The Liberty of Man, Woman, and Child” (1877)
(Source)

Martin, Steve -- L. A. Story (1991)

Dave — Sun, 01 Feb 2004 19:00:00 +0000

HARRIS: I could never be a woman, ’cause I’d just stay home and play with my breasts all day.

Steve Martin (b. 1945) American comedian, actor, writer, producer, musician
L. A. Story (1991)
(Source)

(Source (Video)).

Variant: "I could never be a woman. If I were, I would do nothing but sit at home all day playing with my breasts."