WIST Quotations

West, Mae -- Every Day’s a Holiday (movie) [Larmadou Graves] (1937)

Dave — Fri, 16 Feb 2018 16:59:24 +0000

You ought to get out of those wet clothes and into a dry martini.

Mae West (1892-1980) American film actress
Every Day’s a Holiday (movie) [Larmadou Graves] (1937)

West both starred in the film (as the recipient of this line, Peaches O'Day) and wrote the screenplay. Often attributed to Robert Benchley, who used the line in a film a few years later, and claimed he got it from a joke book. Also attributed to Groucho Marx.

Nash, Ogden -- “A Drink with Something In It,” The Primrose Path (1935)

Dave — Fri, 17 Nov 2017 18:46:04 +0000

There is something about a Martini,
A tingle remarkably pleasant;
A yellow, a mellow Martini;
I wish I had one at present.
There is something about a Martini,
Ere the dining and dancing begin,
And to tell you the truth,
It is not the vermouth —
I think that perhaps it’s the gin.

Ogden Nash (1902-1971) American poet
“A Drink with Something In It,” The Primrose Path (1935)
(Source)

Mencken, H. L. -- (Attributed)

Dave — Fri, 10 Nov 2017 17:41:00 +0000

The only American invention as perfect as a sonnet.

H. L. Mencken (1880-1956) American writer and journalist [Henry Lewis Mencken]
(Attributed)

Referring to the dry martini cocktail.

Faulkner, William -- (Attributed)

Dave — Fri, 03 Nov 2017 17:52:25 +0000

Well, with one martini ah feel bigger, wiser, taller, and with two it goes to the superlative, and ah feel biggest, wisest, tallest, and with three there ain’t no holdin’ me.

William Faulkner (1897-1962) American novelist
(Attributed)
(Source)

As quoted in Lauren Bacall, By Myself (1978). Often paraphrased or rendered back into standard English, e.g., "When I have one martini, I feel bigger, wiser, taller. When I have a second, I feel superlative. When I have more, there's no holding me."

Conrad, Barnaby III -- “Martini Madness,” Cigar Aficionado (Spring 1996)

Dave — Tue, 17 Oct 2017 01:03:01 +0000

The Martini is to middle- and upper-class American society what peyote is to the Yaqui Indians: a sacred rite that affirms tribal identity, encourages fanciful thought and — let’s be honest here — delivers a whoppingly nice high.

Barnaby Conrad III (b. 1952) American author, artist, editor
“Martini Madness,” Cigar Aficionado (Spring 1996)
(Source)

Conrad, Barnaby III -- The Martini: An Illustrated History of an American Classic, “The Great Martini Revival” (1995)

Dave — Sat, 02 Sep 2017 19:04:45 +0000

The word Martini is a nostalgic passport to another era — when automobiles had curves like Mae West, when women were either ladies or dames, when men wore hats, when a deal was done on a handshake, when boxing and polo were regular pastimes, when we lived for movies instead of MTV, and when jazz was going from hot to cool. It was a time when a relationship was called either a romance or an affair, when love over a pitcher of Martinis was bigger than both of us, sweetheart, and it wouldn’t matter if the Russians dropped the bomb as long as the gin was wet and the vermouth was dry. That as Martini Culture.

Barnaby Conrad III (b. 1952) American author, artist, editor
The Martini: An Illustrated History of an American Classic, “The Great Martini Revival” (1995)
(Source)

Conrad reworked the passage in "Martini Madness" in Cigar Afficionado (Spring 1996):

The Martini is a cocktail distilled from the wink of a platinum blonde, the sweat of a polo horse, the blast of an ocean liner's horn, the Chrysler building at sunset, a lost Cole Porter tune, and the aftershave of quipping detectives in natty double-breasted suits. It's a nostalgic passport to another era -- when automobiles had curves like Mae West, when women were either ladies or dames, when men were gentlemen or cads, and when a "relationship" was true romance or a steamy affair. Films were called movies then, the music was going from le jazz hot in Paris to nightclub cool in Vegas, and when a deal was done on a handshake, the wise guy who welched soon had a date with a snub-nosed thirty-eight. Love might have ended in a world war, but a kiss was still a kiss, a smile was still a smile, and until they dropped the atomic bomb there was no need to worry, schweetheart, as long as the vermouth was dry and the gin was wet. That was Martini Culture.

Stross, Charles -- The Jennifer Morgue (2006)

Dave — Tue, 17 Jan 2017 22:46:49 +0000

While I’m having these grim thoughts, I notice that my martini glass is nearly empty. It’s not a terribly endearing drink — it tastes like something that got hosed off a runway, then diluted with antifreeze — but it does what it says on the label.

Charles "Charlie" Stross (b. 1964) British writer
The Jennifer Morgue (2006)

Lehrer, Tom -- “Bright College Days,” An Evening (Wasted) with Tom Lehrer (1959)

Dave — Thu, 26 May 2016 14:02:18 +0000

Hearts full of youth!
Hearts full of truth!
Six parts gin to
One part vermouth!

Tom Lehrer (b. 1928) American mathematician, satirist, songwriter
“Bright College Days,” An Evening (Wasted) with Tom Lehrer (1959)

Parker, Dorothy -- (Spurious)

Dave — Fri, 21 Jun 2013 14:37:44 +0000

I like to have a martini,
Two at the very most.
After three I’m under the table,
After four I’m under my host.

Dorothy Parker (1893-1967) American writer, poet, wit
(Spurious)

Variants:

"I'd love to have a martini, / Two at the very most. / With three I'm under the table, / With four I'm under my host."
"I like to have a Martini / But only two at the most, / After three I'm under the table, / After four I'm under my host."

Frequently attributed to Parker (the main quatrain quoted is in The Collected Dorothy Parker), but originally an anonymous gag in found in the University of Virginia Harlequin (1959): "I wish I could drink like a lady. / 'Two or three,' at the most. / But two, and I'm under the table -- / And three, I'm under the host."

The confusion apparently comes from Bennett Cerf, Try and Stop Me (1944), where he related an anecdote in which Parker commented about a cocktail party, more straightforwardly, "Enjoyed it? One more drink and I'd have been under the host!" See here for more discussion.