Stross, Charles -- The Atrocity Archives (2004)

Dave — Wed, 21 Dec 2016 01:20:45 +0000

In the Laundry we supposedly pride ourselves on our procedures. We’ve got procedures for breaking and entering offices, procedures for reporting a shortage of paper clips, procedures for summoning demons from the vasty deeps, and procedures for writing procedures. We may actually be on track to be the world’s first ISO-9000 total-quality-certified intelligence agency. According to our written procedure for dealing with procedural cluster-fucks on foreign assignment, what I should do at this point is fill out Form 1008.7, then drive like a bat out of hell over Highway 17 until it hits the Interstate, then take the turnoff for San Francisco Airport and use my company credit card to buy the first available seat home. Not forgetting to file Form 1018.9 (“expenses unexpectedly incurred in responding to a situation 1008.7 in the line of duty”) in time for the end of month accounting cycle.

Charles "Charlie" Stross (b. 1964) British writer
The Atrocity Archives (2004)

Rogers, Will -- Column (1923-04-08), “Weekly Article: How To Stop the Bootleggin'” [No. 17]

Dave — Mon, 15 Sep 2008 09:41:57 +0000

The income tax has made more liars out of the American people than golf has. Even when you make one out on the level, you don’t know when it’s through if you are a crook or a martyr.

Will Rogers (1879-1935) American humorist
Column (1923-04-08), “Weekly Article: How To Stop the Bootleggin'” [No. 17]
(Source)

Collected in The Illiterate Digest, "Helping the Girls With Their Income Taxes" (1924).

For more discussion of this quote's origins and variants, see Quote Origin: The Income Tax Has Made More Liars Out of the American People Than Golf Has – Quote Investigator®.

WIST Quotations

Stross, Charles -- The Atrocity Archives (2004)

Rogers, Will -- Column (1923-04-08), “Weekly Article: How To Stop the Bootleggin'” [No. 17]