Montaigne, Michel de -- Essays, Book 3, ch. 13 (3.13), “Of Experience [De l’Experience]” (1588) [tr. Screech (1987)]

Dave — Thu, 08 Oct 2026 16:13:28 +0000

Kings and philosophers shit; and so do ladies.

[Les rois et les philosophes fientent, et les dames aussi.]

Michel de Montaigne (1533–1592) French essayist
Essays, Book 3, ch. 13 (3.13), “Of Experience [De l’Experience]” (1588) [tr. Screech (1987)]

First appeared in the 2nd (1588) edition. Because of the earthy nature of this paragraph (this and its following text), some translators (e.g., Ives (1925)) leave it untranslated, in French.

(Source (French)). Other translations:

Both Kings and Philosophers obey nature, and go to the stoole, and so doe Ladies.
[tr. Florio (1603)]

Both Kings and Philosophers go to stool, and Ladies too.
[tr. Cotton (1686); Cotton/Hazlitt (1877); Zeitlin (1934)]

Both kings and philosophers defecate, and ladies too.
[tr. Frame (1943)]

Both kings and philosophers defecate, and so do the ladies.
[tr. Cohen (1958)]

Both kings and philosophers shit, and ladies do, as well.
[tr. Atkinson/Sices (2012)]

Twain, Mark -- Letters from the Earth, “The Damned Human Race,” sec. 5 “The Lowest Animal” (1962) [ed. DeVoto]

Dave — Mon, 25 Mar 2024 21:15:04 +0000

Man seems to be a rickety poor sort of a thing, any way you take him; a kind of British Museum of infirmities and inferiorities. He is always undergoing repairs. A machine that was as unreliable as he is would have no market.

Mark Twain (1835–1910) American writer [pseud. of Samuel Clemens]
Letters from the Earth, “The Damned Human Race,” sec. 5 “The Lowest Animal” (1962) [ed. DeVoto]

WIST Quotations

Montaigne, Michel de -- Essays, Book 3, ch. 13 (3.13), “Of Experience [De l’Experience]” (1588) [tr. Screech (1987)]

Twain, Mark -- Letters from the Earth, “The Damned Human Race,” sec. 5 “The Lowest Animal” (1962) [ed. DeVoto]