STEVE: (after a beat, scoffs) “Using pornography”? What a strange expression, Jane. Um, I enjoy erotica, if that’s what you mean. But then, doesn’t everyone? I certainly don’t “use pornography,” whatever that means. That makes me sound like — some kind of —

SALLY: Wanker?

STEVE: Oh, because it’s got naked women in it! Look, I like naked women! I’m a bloke! I’m supposed to like them! We’re born like that! We like naked women as soon as we’re pulled out of one. Halfway down the birth canal we’re already enjoying the view. Look, it is the four pillars of the male heterosexual psyche. We like: naked women, stockings, lesbians, and Sean Connery best as James Bond. Because that is what being a boy is. And if you don’t like it, darling, join a film collective. Look, I want to spend the rest of my life with the woman at the end of the table here. But that does not stop me wanting to see several thousand more naked bottoms before I die. Because that’s what being a bloke is. When Man invented fire, he didn’t say “Hey, let’s cook!” He said: “Great! Now we can see naked bottoms in the dark!” As soon as Caxton invented the printing press we were using it to make pictures of — hey! — naked bottoms. We’ve turned the Internet into an enormous international database of naked bottoms! So, you see, the story of male achievement through the ages, feeble though it may have been, has been the story of our struggle to get a better look at your bottoms. Frankly, girls, I’m not so sure how insulted you really ought to be.