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                <!-- DCH Modify the title to give the category (quote author) at the beginning of it. -->
		<title>Martial -- Epigrams [Epigrammata], Book  6, epigram 93 (6.93) (AD 91) [tr. Pott &#038; Wright (1921)]</title>
		<link>https://wist.info/martial/50268/</link>
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		<pubDate>Fri, 10 Dec 2021 16:55:54 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Dave</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Martial]]></category>
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		<description><![CDATA[Thais smells even worse than a fuller&#8217;s old crock, When, set in the street, it succumbs to a knock, A he-goat when rutting, a lion&#8217;s foul breath, A skin of a dog done by tanners to death, A chicken gone rotten while still in the shell, A jar filled with sauce that has not kept [&#8230;]]]></description>
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			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>Thais smells even worse than a fuller&#8217;s old crock,<br />
<span class="tab">When, set in the street, it succumbs to a knock,<br />
A he-goat when rutting, a lion&#8217;s foul breath,<br />
<span class="tab">A skin of a dog done by tanners to death,<br />
A chicken gone rotten while still in the shell,<br />
<span class="tab">A jar filled with sauce that has not kept too well.<br />
So wishing somehow to disguise this foul reek,<br />
<span class="tab">Whenever she comes to the baths in the week,<br />
She&#8217;s covered with unguent and vinegared flour<br />
<span class="tab">And layers of powder at least three or four.<br />
But spite of these dodges, and do what she will,<br />
<span class="tab">The fact is that Thais of Thais smells still.</p>
<p><em>[Tam male Thais olet, quam non fullonis avari<br />
Testa vetus, media sed modo fracta via,<br />
Non ab amore recens hircus, non ora leonis,<br />
Non detracta cani transtiberina cutis,<br />
5Pullus abortivo nec cum putrescit in ovo,<br />
Amphora corrupto nec vitiata garo.<br />
Virus ut hoc alio fallax permutet odore,<br />
Deposita quotiens balnea veste petit,<br />
Psilothro viret aut acida latet oblita creta<br />
10Aut tegitur pingui terque quaterque faba.<br />
Cum bene se tutam per fraudes mille putavit,<br />
Omnia cum fecit, Thaida Thais olet.]</em></span></span></span></span></span></span></p>
<br><b>Martial</b> (AD c.39-c.103) Spanish Roman poet, satirist, epigrammatist [Marcus Valerius Martialis]<br><i>Epigrams [Epigrammata]</i>, Book  6, epigram 93 (6.93) (AD 91) [tr. Pott &#038; Wright (1921)] 
									<br>&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;(<a href="https://archive.org/details/martialtwelveboo0000tran/page/192/mode/2up?q=thais" target="_blank">Source</a>)
										<br><br><span class="cite">
						

(<a href="http://data.perseus.org/citations/urn:cts:latinLit:phi1294.phi002.perseus-lat1:6.93">Source (Latin)</a>). Alternate translations:<br><br>

<blockquote>Worse than a fuller's tubb doth Thais stink,<br>
<span class="tab">Broke in the streets, and leaking through each chink;<br>
Or lion's belch; or lustfull reeking goats;<br>
<span class="tab">Or skin of dogg that dead o' the' bankside floats;<br>
Or half-hatch'd chicken from broke rotten eggs,<br>
<span class="tab">Or taynted jarrs of stinking mackrell dreggs.<br>
This vile rank smell with perfumes to disguise,<br>
<span class="tab">Whene'er she's in the bath, she doth devise;<br>
She's with pomatum smugg'd, or pain good store,<br>
<span class="tab">Or oyle of the bean-flow'r varnishe'd o'er and o'er:<br>
A thousand wayes she tries to make all well;<br>
<span class="tab">In vayne, still Thais doth of Thais smell.<br>
[<a href="https://www.google.com/books/edition/The_Epigrams_of_Martial/LzXgAAAAMAAJ?hl=en&gbpv=1&bsq=%22worse%20than%20a%20fuller's%20tubb%22&pg=PA303&printsec=frontcover">Egerton Manuscript 2982</a> (16th C)] </blockquote><br>

<blockquote>Poor Thais so smells, as no ill-fated tray,<br>
<span class="tab">Of all-catching scourer, just broke in the way:<br>
No love-leaving goat, and no lion's made maw;<br>
<span class="tab">No skin from a dog the Transtiberines draw:<br>
No pullet abortive, that rots in the shell:<br>
<span class="tab">No cask, where the brine of anchovy did dwell.<br>
Yet all her contagion, the sly would suppress,<br>
<span class="tab">Whene'er, at the bath, she deposits her dress.<br>
She smugs in sweet lotion, or sculks in sour chalk;<br>
<span class="tab">In mail of fat bean-meal she wisely will calk.<br>
Thus ev'ry art conjur'd, th' offensive to kill,<br>
<span class="tab">Alas! the poor Thais brethes poor Thais still.<br>
[tr. <a href="https://www.google.com/books/edition/The_Epigrams_of_M_Val_Martial/vksOAAAAQAAJ?hl=en&gbpv=1&pg=PA296&printsec=frontcover&bsq=%22poor%20thais%22">Elphinston</a> (1782), Book 6, Part 3, ep. 28]</blockquote><br>

<blockquote>Thais smells worse than an old jar of a covetous fuller just broken in the middle of the street; worse than a goat after an amorous encounter; than the belch of a lion; than a hide torn from a dog on the banks of the Tiber; than chick rotting in an abortive egg; than a jar fetid with spoilt pickle. Cunningly wishing to exchange this disagreeable odour for some other, she, on laying aside her garments to enter the bath, makes herself green with a depilatory, or conceals herself beneath a daubing of chalk dissolved in acid, or covers herself with three or four layers of rich bean-unguent. When by a thousand artifices she thinks she has succeeded in making herself safe, Thais, after all, smells of Thais.<br>
[tr. <a href="https://www.tertullian.org/fathers/martial_epigrams_book06.htm#:~:text=Thais%20smells%20worse%20than%20an%20old%20jar%20of%20a%20covetous%20fuller%20just%20broken%20in%20the%20middle%20of%20the%20street%3B%20worse%20than%20a%20goat%20after%20an%20amorous%20encounter%3B%20than%20the%20belch%20of%20a%20lion%3B%20than%20a%20hide%20torn%20from%20a%20dog%20on%20the%20banks%20of%20the%20Tiber%3B%20than%20chick%20rotting%20in%20an%20abortive%20egg%3B%20than%20a%20jar%20fetid%20with%20spoilt%20pickle.">Bohn's Classical</a> (1859)]</blockquote><br>

<blockquote>Thais smells worse even than a grasping fuller's long-used crock, and that, too, just smashed in the middle of the street; than a he-goat fresh from his amours; than the breath of a lion; than a hide dragged from a dog beyond Tiber; than a chicken when it rots in an abortive egg; than a two-eared jar poisoned by putrid fish-sauce. In order craftily to substitute for such a reek another odour, whenever she strips and enters the bath she is green with depilatory, or is hidden behind a plaster of chalk and vinegar, or is covered with three or four layers of sticky bean-flower. When she imagines that by a thousand dodges she is quite safe, Thais, do what she will, smells of Thais.<br>
[tr. <a href="https://www.google.com/books/edition/Epigrams/w4ZfAAAAMAAJ?hl=en&gbpv=1&bsq=%22Thais%20smells%20worse%22&pg=PA417&printsec=frontcover">Ker</a> (1919)]</blockquote><br>



<blockquote>Old Thais is so rank, shed reeks to heaven,<br>
<span class="tab">Like greedy fuller's crock in pieces riven.<br>
No hot he-goat, no lion's breath so rare<br>
<span class="tab">Or over-Tiber dog-skin out to air.<br>
An ancient pickle-jar describes her best<br>
<span class="tab">Or unhatched chicken in forsaken nest.<br>
To mask her odour by another stench<br>
<span class="tab">She doffs her robe and bathes, the dainty wench.<br>
She's green with ointment, smeared with biting clay,<br>
<span class="tab">And coats of oily bean her charms array.<br>
Let Thais play what tricks and turns she will,<br>
<span class="tab">The scent's breast high; she's the old vixen still.<br>
[tr. <a href="https://www.google.com/books/edition/Martial_s_Epigrams/g35fAAAAMAAJ?gbpv=1&bsq=%22Old%20Thais%22">Francis & Tatum</a> (1924)] </blockquote><br>



<blockquote>Worse than a fuller’s crock full of stale piss <br>
Smashed in the gutter by the slaughterhouse; <br>
Worse than a he-goat straight from rut, and worse <br>
Than a lion’s breath or chicken when it rots <br>
In an aborted egg, or hide of a dog <br>
Dragged from the Tiber, or a two-eared jar <br>
Of poisonous fish sauce -- so Thais smells <br>
Of Thais, when she steps fresh from the bath.<br>
[tr. <a href="https://archive.org/details/martialinenglish00mart/page/388/mode/2up?q=%22worse+than+a+fuller%27s+crock%22">O'Connell</a> (1991)]</blockquote><br>




<blockquote>Thais smells worse than the veteran crock of a stingy fuller, recently broken in the middle of the road, or a billy goat fresh from his amours, or a linon's mouth, or a hide from behind Tiber torn from a dog, or a chicken rotting in an aborted egg, or a jar polluted with putrid garum. In order to exchange this stench for a differnet odor, whenever she takes off ehr clothse to get into the bath, the crafty lady is green with depilatory or lurks under a lining of chalk and vnegar, or is coated with three or four layers of thick bean meal. A thousand tricks, and she thinks she's safe. But when all's done, Thais smells of Thais.<br>
[tr. <a href="https://dokumen.pub/martial-epigrams-books-6-10-2-0674995562-9780674995567.html">Shackleton Bailey</a> (1993)]</blockquote><br>


<blockquote>Thais smells worse than caustic oil,<br>
<span class="tab">Or corpses rotting in the soil,<br>
Or rotten eggs, or rutting goats,<br>
<span class="tab">Or swill that's vomited by stoats.<br>
To hide the odor, Thais drenches<br>
<span class="tab">Her body with distracting stenches.<br>
But worse than ointments on her shelf,<br>
<span class="tab">The smell most dreadful is -- herself.<br>
[tr. <a href="https://www.google.com/books/edition/Martial_s_Epigrams/13X80r3_zQIC?hl=en&gbpv=1&pg=PT82&printsec=frontcover&bsq=%22Thaios%20smells%20worse%20than%20caustic%20oil%22%22">Wills</a> (2007), 6.98]</blockquote><br>						</span>
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                <!-- DCH Modify the title to give the category (quote author) at the beginning of it. -->
		<title>Edlund, Ben -- The Tick, Ep. 12, &#8220;The Tick vs. Proto Clown&#8221; (1995)</title>
		<link>https://wist.info/edlund-ben/215/</link>
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		<pubDate>Sun, 01 Feb 2004 16:00:00 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Dave</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Edlund, Ben]]></category>
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		<description><![CDATA[It&#8217;s starting to smell a little like danger in here &#8212; or heavily fried food.]]></description>
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			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>It&#8217;s starting to smell a little like danger in here &#8212; or heavily fried food.</p>
<br><b>Ben Edlund</b> (b. 1968) American cartoonist, writer, producer<br><i>The Tick</i>, Ep. 12, &#8220;The Tick vs. Proto Clown&#8221; (1995) 
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