WIST Quotations

Billings, Josh -- Josh Billings’ Farmer’s Allminax, 1871-06 (1871 ed.)

Dave — Thu, 19 Feb 2026 21:09:21 +0000

Whenever a minister haz preached a sermon that pleazes the whole congregashun, he probably haz preached one that the Lord wont endorse.

[Whenever a minister has preached a sermon that pleases the whole congregation, he probably haz preached one that the Lord won’t endorse.]

Josh Billings (1818-1885) American humorist, aphorist [pseud. of Henry Wheeler Shaw]
Josh Billings’ Farmer’s Allminax, 1871-06 (1871 ed.)
(Source)

Ingersoll, Robert Green -- Lecture (1872-01-29), “The Gods,” Fairbury Hall, Fairbury, Illinois

Dave — Fri, 19 Dec 2025 22:45:18 +0000

Man must learn to rely upon himself. Reading bibles will not protect him from the blasts of winter, but houses, fires, and clothing will. To prevent famine, one plow is worth a million sermons, and even patent medicines will cure more diseases than all the prayers uttered since the beginning of the world.

Robert Green Ingersoll (1833-1899) American lawyer, freethinker, orator
Lecture (1872-01-29), “The Gods,” Fairbury Hall, Fairbury, Illinois
(Source)

First given on the 135th birthday of Thomas Paine. Collected in The Gods and Other Lectures (1876).

Orwell, George -- Essay (1941-09), “The Art of Donald McGill,” Horizon Magazine

Dave — Fri, 17 Oct 2025 15:09:05 +0000

I never read the proclamations of generals before battle, the speeches of fuehrers and prime ministers, the solidarity songs of public schools and left-wing political parties, national anthems, Temperance tracts, papal encyclicals and sermons against gambling and contraception, without seeming to hear in the background a chorus of raspberries from all the millions of common men to whom these high sentiments make no appeal.

George Orwell (1903-1950) English journalist, essayist, writer [pseud. of Eric Arthur Blair]
Essay (1941-09), “The Art of Donald McGill,” Horizon Magazine
(Source)

Smith, Sydney -- Memoir of the Reverend Sydney Smith, by His Daughter, Lady Holland, Vol. 1, ch. 3 (1855)

Dave — Tue, 03 Dec 2024 20:59:28 +0000

To this cause of the unpopularity of sermons may be added the extremely ungraceful manner in which they are delivered. The English, generally remarkable for doing very good things in a very bad manner, seem to have reserved the maturity and plenitude of their awkwardness for the pulpit.

Sydney Smith (1771-1845) English clergyman, essayist, wit
Memoir of the Reverend Sydney Smith, by His Daughter, Lady Holland, Vol. 1, ch. 3 (1855)
(Source)

Franklin, Benjamin -- Letter to Joseph Huey (6 Jun 1753)

Dave — Thu, 22 Oct 2020 15:16:20 +0000

The worship of God is a Duty; the hearing and reading of Sermons may be useful; but, if Men rest in Hearing and Praying, as too many do, it is as if a Tree should Value itself on being water’d and putting forth Leaves, tho’ it never produc’d any Fruit.

Benjamin Franklin (1706-1790) American statesman, scientist, philosopher, aphorist
Letter to Joseph Huey (6 Jun 1753)
(Source)

Beecher, Henry Ward -- (Attributed)

Dave — Fri, 11 Mar 2016 14:14:21 +0000

You may get a large amount of truth into a brief space.

Henry Ward Beecher (1813-1887) American clergyman and orator
(Attributed)

François de Sales -- (Attributed)

Dave — Tue, 07 Jul 2015 12:37:39 +0000

My test of the real worth of a man as a preacher is when his congregation go away, saying, not, “What a beautiful sermon!” but “I will do something.”

François de Sales (1567-1622) French bishop, saint, writer [a.k.a. Francis de Sales, b. François de Boisy]
(Attributed)
(Source)

Keillor, Garrison -- Lake Wobegon Days (1985)

Dave — Thu, 02 Oct 2014 12:33:36 +0000

I think if the church put in half the time on covetousness that it does on lust, this would be a better world for all of us.

Garrison Keillor (b. 1942) American entertainer, author
Lake Wobegon Days (1985)

Jefferson, Thomas -- Letter (1809-01-11) to Thomas Leiper

Dave — Thu, 08 Aug 2013 13:19:02 +0000

As to myself, my religious reading has long been confined to the moral branch of religion, which is the same in all religions; while in that branch which consists of dogmas, all differ, all have a different set. The former instructs us how to live well and worthily in society; the latter are made to interest our minds in the support of the teachers who inculcate them. Hence for one sermon on a moral subject, you hear ten on the dogmas of the sect.

Thomas Jefferson (1743-1826) American political philosopher, polymath, statesman, US President (1801-09)
Letter (1809-01-11) to Thomas Leiper
(Source)

Twain, Mark -- Hannibal Courier-Post (6 Mar 1835)

Dave — Tue, 29 May 2012 12:48:02 +0000

No sinner is ever saved after the first twenty minutes of a sermon.

Mark Twain (1835-1910) American writer [pseud. of Samuel Clemens]
Hannibal Courier-Post (6 Mar 1835)

Smith, Sydney -- Memoir of the Reverend Sydney Smith, by His Daughter, Lady Holland, Vol. 1, ch. 3 (1855)

Dave — Fri, 20 Mar 2009 10:34:35 +0000

Preaching has become a bye-word for long and dull conversation of any kind; and whoever wishes to imply, in any piece of writing, the absence of everything agreeable and inviting, calls it a sermon.

Sydney Smith (1771-1845) English clergyman, essayist, wit
Memoir of the Reverend Sydney Smith, by His Daughter, Lady Holland, Vol. 1, ch. 3 (1855)
(Source)

Smith, Sydney -- Sermon (1824-03-28), “The Judge That Smites Contrary to the Law”

Dave — Tue, 02 Sep 2008 10:41:02 +0000

The object of preaching is, constantly to remind mankind of what mankind are constantly forgetting; not to supply the defects of human intelligence, but to fortify the feebleness of human resolutions.

Sydney Smith (1771-1845) English clergyman, essayist, wit
Sermon (1824-03-28), “The Judge That Smites Contrary to the Law”
(Source)

On Acts 23:3. Preached in the Cathedral Church of Saint Peter, York.

Franklin, Benjamin -- Poor Richard (1747 ed.)

Dave — Sun, 01 Feb 2004 16:00:00 +0000

A good Example is the best sermon.

Benjamin Franklin (1706-1790) American statesman, scientist, philosopher, aphorist
Poor Richard (1747 ed.)
(Source)

See also Bacon (c. 1600), La Rochefoucauld (1665), Joubert (1850), Billings (1874), Twain (1897).