WIST Quotations

Fry, Stephen -- “Sir John Raving: Cricket & Golf,” Paperweight (1992)

Dave — Thu, 19 Oct 2023 00:53:30 +0000

They christened their game golf because they were Scottish and revelled in meaningless Celtic noises in the back of the throat.

Stephen Fry (b. 1957) British actor, writer, comedian
“Sir John Raving: Cricket & Golf,” Paperweight (1992)
(Source)

Originally appeared as a segment in the BBC Radio show Loose Ends in the late 1980s.

Wodehouse, P. G. -- “Ordeal by Golf,” Collier’s Magazine (1919-12-06)

Dave — Fri, 28 Jan 2022 15:49:06 +0000

The only way of really finding out a man’s true character is to play golf with him. In no other walk of life does the cloven hoof so quickly display itself.

P. G. Wodehouse (1881-1975) Anglo-American humorist, playwright and lyricist [Pelham Grenville Wodehouse]
“Ordeal by Golf,” Collier’s Magazine (1919-12-06)
(Source)

Reprinted in The Clicking of Cuthbert, ch. 6 (1922).

Casper, Billy -- (Attibuted)

Dave — Fri, 13 Aug 2021 14:55:33 +0000

Golf puts a man’s character on the anvil and his richest qualities — patience, poise, restraint — to the flame. Golf doesn’t build character, it only reveals it.

Billy Casper (1931-2015) American professional golfer
(Attibuted)

Wodehouse, P. G. -- The Mating Season, ch. 4 (1949)

Dave — Thu, 11 Mar 2021 22:31:35 +0000

“So, Jeeves!”

“Yes, sir.”

“What do you mean. Yes, sir?”

“I was endeavouring to convey my appreciation of the fact that your position is in many respects somewhat difficult, sir. But I wonder if I might call your attention to an observation of the Emperor Marcus Aurelius. He said: ‘Does aught befall you? It is good. It is part of the destiny of the Universe ordained for you from the beginning. All that befalls you is part of the great web.'”

I breathed a bit stertorously.

“He said that, did he?”

“Yes, sir.”

“Well, you can tell him from me he’s an ass.”

P. G. Wodehouse (1881-1975) Anglo-American humorist, playwright and lyricist [Pelham Grenville Wodehouse]
The Mating Season, ch. 4 (1949)
(Source)

Adapted from Marcus Aurelius, Meditations, Book 4, #26 [tr. Rendall (1901)].

Wodehouse uses in "Ordeal by Golf" (1919) a similar sentiment from Meditations, Book 10, #5, to suggest Marcus Aurelius was a golfer.

Imitate the spirit of Marcus Aurelius. "Whatever may befall thee," says that great man in his "Meditations," "it was preordained for thee from everlasting. Nothing happens to anybody which he is not fitted by nature to bear." I like to think that this noble thought came to him after he had sliced a couple of new balls into the woods, and that he jotted it down on the back of his score-card.

Adams, Franklin P. -- Nods and Becks (1944)

Dave — Mon, 10 Oct 2016 01:53:59 +0000

Years ago we discovered the exact point, the dead center of middle age. It occurs when you are too young to take up golf and too old to rush up to the net.

Franklin Pierce Adams (1881-1960) American journalist and humorist ["F. P. A."]
Nods and Becks (1944)

Jones, Bobby -- Golf Is My Game (1960)

Dave — Fri, 04 Sep 2015 14:00:35 +0000

The main idea in golf as in life, I suppose, is to learn to accept what cannot be altered, and to keep on doing one’s own reasoned and resolute best whether the prospect be bleak or rosy.

Robert Tyre "Bobby" Jones, Jr. (1902-1971) American amateur golfer, lawyer
Golf Is My Game (1960)
(Source)

Ford, Gerald R. -- Speech, Dedication of the World Golf Hall of Fame, Pinehurst, North Carolina (12 Sep 1974)

Dave — Fri, 28 Aug 2015 13:17:16 +0000

The pat on the back, the arm around the shoulder, the praise for what was done right, and the sympathetic nod for what wasn’t, are as much a part of golf as life itself.

Gerald R. Ford (1913-2006) American politician, US President (1974-77) [b. Leslie Lynch King, Jr.]
Speech, Dedication of the World Golf Hall of Fame, Pinehurst, North Carolina (12 Sep 1974)

Lemmon, Jack -- (Attributed)

Dave — Fri, 21 Aug 2015 15:17:46 +0000

If you think it’s hard to meet new people, try picking up the wrong golf ball.

Jack Lemmon (1925-2001) American actor [John Uhler Lemmon III]
(Attributed)

An old joke, probably pre-dating Lemmon's use of it. See here.

Johnson, Lyndon -- Comment (1964) to Larry O’Brien III

Dave — Wed, 09 Jan 2013 14:35:13 +0000

One lesson you better learn if you want to be in politics is that you never go out on a golf course and beat the President.

Lyndon B. Johnson (1908-1973) American politician, educator, US President (1963-69)
Comment (1964) to Larry O’Brien III
(Source)

On the occasion of O'Brien beating Johnson by one stroke on a nine-hole golf outing. Noted by his father in his book, No Final Victories: A Life in Politics, ch. 8 "LBJ" (1974).

See Gracian.

Rogers, Will -- Column (1923-04-08), “Weekly Article: How To Stop the Bootleggin'” [No. 17]

Dave — Mon, 15 Sep 2008 09:41:57 +0000

The income tax has made more liars out of the American people than golf has. Even when you make one out on the level, you don’t know when it’s through if you are a crook or a martyr.

Will Rogers (1879-1935) American humorist
Column (1923-04-08), “Weekly Article: How To Stop the Bootleggin'” [No. 17]
(Source)

Collected in The Illiterate Digest, "Helping the Girls With Their Income Taxes" (1924).

For more discussion of this quote's origins and variants, see Quote Origin: The Income Tax Has Made More Liars Out of the American People Than Golf Has – Quote Investigator®.