Having a baby is like trying to push a grand piano through a transom.

Alice Roosevelt Longworth (1884-1980) American writer and socialite

(Attributed)
    (Source)

On the birth of her daughter. Though widely attributed to Longworth, she in turn (as she did with many of her attributed witticisms) attributed it to someone else.

Quoted in Michael Teague, ed., Mrs. L.: Conversations With Alice Roosevelt Longworth, Introduction (1981).