WIST

MAL: It’s my estimation that every man ever got a statue made of him was one kind of sommbitch or another.

Ben Edlund (b. 1968) American cartoonist, writer, producer
Firefly, “Jaynetown” (18 Oct 2002)
Full text.

And so, may evil beware and may good dress warmly and eat lots of fresh vegetables.

Ben Edlund (b. 1968) American cartoonist, writer, producer
The Tick

Oh what a goofy work is man!

Ben Edlund (b. 1968) American cartoonist, writer, producer
The Tick

Yes, evil comes in many forms, whether it be a man-eating cow or Joseph Stalin, but you can’t let the package hide the pudding! Evil is just plain bad! You don’t cotton to it. You gotta smack it in the nose with the rolled-up newspaper of goodness! Bad dog! Bad dog

Ben Edlund (b. 1968) American cartoonist, writer, producer
The Tick

Everybody was a baby once, Arthur. Oh, sure, maybe not today, or even yesterday. But once! Babies, chum: tiny, dimpled, fleshy mirrors of our us-ness, that we parents hurl into the future, like leathery footballs of hope! And you’ve got to get a good spiral on that baby, or evil will make an interception!

Ben Edlund (b. 1968) American cartoonist, writer, producer
The Tick

You know gang, when you’re a superhero, you never know where the day will take you. You may find yourself halfway around the world in the shark-infested waters of true-to-life living. Or you may find yourself going down to the store for a lozenge. You can’t know, can you? No! You gotta ride that wave, You gotta suck that lozenge! Cause if you don’t, who will?

Ben Edlund (b. 1968) American cartoonist, writer, producer
The Tick

CHROME DOME: Bah. Warm, fuzzy nice-nice! What good is science if nobody gets hurt!?

Ben Edlund (b. 1968) American cartoonist, writer, producer
The Tick, “The Tick vs. Science”

Falling in love with a supervillain is Trouble with a capital Troub.

Ben Edlund (b. 1968) American cartoonist, writer, producer
The Tick, “The Tick vs. the Ottoman Empire”

Destiny’s powerful hand has made the bed of my future and it’s up to me to lie in it. I am destined to be a superhero to right wrongs and pound two-fisted justice into the hearts of evil-doers everywhere. You don’t fight destiny, no sir! And you don’t eat crackers in the bed of your future or you get all … scratchy. Hey, I’m narrating here!

Ben Edlund (b. 1968) American cartoonist, writer, producer
The Tick, Ep. 1, “The Tick vs. The Idea Men” (1994)

You’re not going crazy, you’re going sane in a crazy world!

Ben Edlund (b. 1968) American cartoonist, writer, producer
The Tick, Ep. 1, “The Tick vs. The Idea Men” (1994)

INTERVIEWER: Can you destroy the Earth?
THE TICK: Egad, I hope not! That’s where I keep all my stuff!

Ben Edlund (b. 1968) American cartoonist, writer, producer
The Tick, Ep. 1, “The Tick vs. The Idea Men” (1994)

It’s starting to smell a little like danger in here, , or heavily fried food.

Ben Edlund (b. 1968) American cartoonist, writer, producer
The Tick, Ep. 12, “The Tick vs. Proto Clown” (1995)

On justice and on friendship, there is no price, but there are established credit limits.

Ben Edlund (b. 1968) American cartoonist, writer, producer
The Tick, Ep. 13, “The Tick vs. Arthur’s Bank Account” (1995)

Destiny has her hand on my back, and she’s pushing!

Ben Edlund (b. 1968) American cartoonist, writer, producer
The Tick, Ep. 13, “The Tick vs. Arthur’s Bank Account” (1995)

Isn’t sanity really just a one trick pony anyway? I mean all of you get is one trick, rational thinking, but when you’re good and crazy, oooh oooh oooh, the sky is the limit!

Ben Edlund (b. 1968) American cartoonist, writer, producer
The Tick, Ep. 22, “Ants in the Pants!” (1995)

Well, once again my friend, we find that science is a two-headed beast. One head is nice, it gives us aspirin and other modern conveniences … but the other head of science is bad! Oh beware the other head of science, Arthur, it bites!

Ben Edlund (b. 1968) American cartoonist, writer, producer
The Tick, Ep. 3, “The Tick vs. Dinosaur Neil” (1994)

I’m betting that I’m just abnormal enough to survive.

Ben Edlund (b. 1968) American cartoonist, writer, producer
The Tick, Ep. 5, “The Tick vs. The Breadmaster” (1994)

Life is a big wild crazy tossed salad, but you don’t eat it, no sir! You live it! Isn’t it great?

Ben Edlund (b. 1968) American cartoonist, writer, producer
The Tick, Ep. 6, “The Tick vs. El Seed” (1994)

I don’t know the meaning of the word surrender! I mean, I know it, I’m not dumb. Just not in this context.

Ben Edlund (b. 1968) American cartoonist, writer, producer
The Tick, Ep. 8, “The Tick vs. The Uncommon Cold” (1994)

Arthur, I just had the strangest dream. I was taking some math test I hadn’t studied for … and then you tried to saw off my head. Weird, huh?

Ben Edlund (b. 1968) American cartoonist, writer, producer
The Tick, Ep. 8, “The Tick vs. The Uncommon Cold” (1994)