When the missionaries came to Africa they had the Bible and we had the land. They said “Let us pray.” We closed our eyes. When we opened them, we had the Bible and they had the land.

Desmond Tutu (1931-2021) South African cleric, Anglican Archbishop of Cape Town, Nobel Laureate

Quoted in Steven Gish, Desmond Tutu: A Biography (2004)

Tutu has used this joke often, though it is not original to him.