Razors pain you;
Rivers are damp;
Acids stain you;
And drugs cause cramp.
Guns aren’t lawful;
Nooses give;
Gas smells awful;
You might as well live.

Dorothy Parker (1893-1967) American writer
“Résumé,” New York World (16 Aug 1925)

Reprinted in Enough Rope (1926). Parker attempted suicide several times, by a variety of methods.
Added on 3-Sep-07 | Last updated 22-Jun-20
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