The Humvee has a feature that allows you to inflate or deflate your tires as you drive. In a perfect guy universe this would seriously impress women.

GUY: “Look! I can inflate the tires as I drive!”

WOMAN: “Pull over right now, so we can engage in wanton carnality!”

Unfortunately, the real world doesn’t work this way. I know this because when I took my wife for a ride in the Humvee, we had this conversation:

ME: “Look! I can inflate the tires as I drive!”

MY WIFE: “Why?”

Dave Barry (b. 1947) American humorist
Miami Herald (7 Jan. 2001)
Added on 14-Oct-05 | Last updated 8-Apr-11
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