Q. — How menny yards ov 5 dollar silk duz it take to make a dress?

A. — I dont kno, but it allwuss takes 2 yards and a haff more than yu buy the fust time.

[Q. — How many yards of 5 dollar silk does it take to make a dress?

A. — I don’t know, but it always takes 2 yards and a half more than you buy the first time.]

Josh Billings (1818–1885) American humorist, aphorist [pseud. of Henry Wheeler Shaw]

Josh Billings’ Farmer’s Allminax, 1879-09 “Questions, And Answers” (1879 ed.)
    (Source)