The object of what we call deportment and good manners is to attain that which can otherwise be attained only by force or not even by force.

[Durch das, was wir Betragen und gute Sitten nennen, soll das erreicht werden, was außerdem nur durch Gewalt, oder auch nicht einmal durch Gewalt zur erreichen ist.]

Johann Wolfgang von Goethe (1749-1832) German poet, statesman, scientist

Elective Affinities [Die Wahlverwandtschaften], Part 2, ch. 5, “From Ottilie’s Journal [Aus Ottiliens Tagebuche]” (1809) [tr. Hollingdale (1971)]
    (Source)

(Source (German)). Alternate translation:

That which we call politeness and good breeding effects what otherwise can only be obtained by violence, or not even that.
[Niles ed. (1872)]