I believe we are descendid from the Puritins, who nobly fled from a land of despitism to a land of freedim, where they could not only enjoy their own religion, but prevent everybody else from enjoyin his.
[I believe we are descended from the Puritans, who nobly fled from a land of despotism to a land of freedom, where they could not only enjoy their own religion, but prevent everybody else from enjoying his.]
Artemus Ward (1834-1867) American humorist, editor, lecturer [pseud. of Charles Farrar Browne]
“Is Introduced at the Club,” The Complete Works of Artemus Ward (1898)
Quotations by:
Ward, Artemus
Traters, I will here remark, are a onfortnit class of peple. If they wasn’t, they wouldn’t be traters. They conspire to bust up a country — they fail, and they’re traters. They bust her, and they become statesmen and heroes.
[Traitors, I will here remark, are an unfortunate class of people. If they weren’t, they wouldn’t be traitors. They conspire to bust up a country — they fail, and they’re traitors. They bust her, and they become statesmen and heroes.]
Artemus Ward (1834-1867) American humorist, editor, lecturer [pseud. of Charles Farrar Browne]
“The Tower of London,” The Complete Works of Atermus Ward (1898)
Trouble will come soon enough, and when he does come, receive him as pleasantly as possible. Like the tax collector, he is a disagreeable chap to have in one’s house, but the more amiably you greet him the sooner he will go away.
Artemus Ward (1834-1867) American humorist, editor, lecturer [pseud. of Charles Farrar Browne]
(Attributed)
“Thrice is he armed that hath his quarrel just” —
And four times he who gets his fist in fust.Artemus Ward (1834-1867) American humorist, editor, lecturer [pseud. of Charles Farrar Browne]
Shakespeare Up-to-Date
See Shakespeare.Also attributed to Josh Billings in Josh Billings: His Sayings (1865), and sometimes oddly credited to Romans 13:7.