The Humvee has a feature that allows you to inflate or deflate your tires as you drive. In a perfect guy universe this would seriously impress women.

GUY: “Look! I can inflate the tires as I drive!”

WOMAN: “Pull over right now, so we can engage in wanton carnality!”

Unfortunately, the real world doesn’t work this way. I know this because when I took my wife for a ride in the Humvee, we had this conversation:

ME: “Look! I can inflate the tires as I drive!”

MY WIFE: “Why?”

Dave Barry (b. 1947) American humorist

Miami Herald (7 Jan. 2001)