Another very common misconception about politeness is that it is martyrdom; that you have to let everybody else do whatever they want. People say to me, “Doesn’t etiquette all boil down to making other people feel comfortable?” No. there are times when you are going to have to upset people. There are times when you have to upset the whole society.

Judith Martin (b. 1938) American author, journalist, etiquette expert [a.k.a. Miss Manners]

Interview (1997-03), “She Says: Miss Manners,” by Sandy Fernández, Ms magazine, Vol. 7, No. 5 (1997-03/04)
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