If I had my life to live over, I would try to make more mistakes next time. I would relax. I would limber up. I would be sillier than I have been this trip. I know of very few things I would take seriously. I would be crazier. I would be less hygienic. I would take more chances. I would take more trips. I would climb more mountains and swim more rivers. I would burn up more gasoline. I would eat more ice cream and less bran. I would have more actual troubles and fewer imaginary ones.
Don Herold (1889-1966) American humorist, cartoonist, author
“Pick More Daisies,” College Humor magazine (1935)
(Source)
Also attributed to Nadine Stair, and a Brother Jerome, among others. This essay has gone through a variety of revisions, both by Herold and by a variety of plagiarists. The earliest reference I could find was that cited here, as quoted in The Journal of Health and Physical Education (May 1935) [linked above]. The usual citation is to a revised version of the essay by Herold in "If I Had My Life Over -- I'd Pick More Daisies," Reader's Digest (Oct 1953) (and reprinted in Reader's Digest's How to Live with Life (1965). Benjamin Rossen, "Who Would Pick More Daisies; A study of Plagiarism and Foolery on the Internet" (2000) wrote extensively on the variations and misappropriations of the poem (though he did not know of the 1935 version).
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Mahomet made the people believe that he would call a hill to him, and from the top of it offer up his prayers for the observers of his law. The people assembled. Mahomet called the hill to come to him, again and again; and when the hill stood still he was never a whit abashed, but said, “If the hill will not come to Mahomet, Mahomet will go to the hill.”
Francis Bacon (1561-1626) English philosopher, scientist, author, statesman
Essays, “Of Boldness” (1625)
