Quotations by Herold, Don


If I had my life to live over, I would try to make more mistakes next time. I would relax. I would limber up. I would be sillier than I have been this trip. I know of very few things I would take seriously. I would be crazier. I would be less hygienic. I would take more chances. I would take more trips. I would climb more mountains and swim more rivers. I would burn up more gasoline. I would eat more ice cream and less bran. I would have more actual troubles and fewer imaginary ones.

Don Herold (1889-1966) American humorist, cartoonist, author
“Pick More Daisies,” College Humor magazine (1935)
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Also attributed to Nadine Stair, and a Brother Jerome, among others. This essay has gone through a variety of revisions, both by Herold and by a variety of plagiarists. The earliest reference I could find was that cited here, as quoted in The Journal of Health and Physical Education (May 1935) [linked above]. The usual citation is to a revised version of the essay by Herold in "If I Had My Life Over -- I'd Pick More Daisies," Reader's Digest (Oct 1953) (and reprinted in Reader's Digest's How to Live with Life (1965). Benjamin Rossen, "Who Would Pick More Daisies; A study of Plagiarism and Foolery on the Internet" (2000) wrote extensively on the variations and misappropriations of the poem (though he did not know of the 1935 version).
Added on 29-May-20 | Last updated 29-May-20
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Unhappiness is not knowing what we want and killing ourselves to get it.

Don Herold (1889-1966) American humorist, cartoonist, author
(Attributed)
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Quoted in Lawrence Peter, Peter's People (1979) as "Herold's Law."
Added on 1-Feb-04 | Last updated 12-May-20
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Poverty must have many satisfactions, else there would not be so many poor people.

Don Herold (1889-1966) American humorist, cartoonist, author
So Human (1924)
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Added on 5-Mar-10 | Last updated 12-May-20
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It takes a lot of things to prove you are smart, but only one thing to prove you are ignorant.

Don Herold (1889-1966) American humorist, cartoonist, author
So Human (1924)
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Added on 5-Jun-20 | Last updated 5-Jun-20
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There is nobody so irritating as somebody with less intelligence and more sense than we have.

Don Herold (1889-1966) American humorist, cartoonist, author
So Human, “Shetland Ponies vs. Autos,” epigraph (1924)
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Added on 23-Feb-10 | Last updated 12-May-20
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Work is the greatest thing in the world — so we should save some of it for to-morrow.

Don Herold (1889-1966) American humorist, cartoonist, author
So Human, Epigraph (1924)
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Added on 12-Jun-20 | Last updated 12-Jun-20
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Babies are such a nice way to start people.

Don Herold (1889-1966) American humorist, cartoonist, author
There Ought To Be A Law (1926)
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Added on 12-May-20 | Last updated 12-May-20
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There’s one thing about baldness; it’s neat.

Don Herold (1889-1966) American humorist, cartoonist, author
There Ought to be a Law (1926)
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Added on 23-May-20 | Last updated 23-May-20
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