You know my methods. Apply them.
Arthur Conan Doyle (1859-1930) British writer and physician
Story (1890-02), “The Sign of the Four,” ch. 6 [Holmes], Lippincott’s Monthly Magazine, Vol. 45 (US) / 1 (UK)
(Source)
The original publication, and Doyle's manuscript (along with many other iterations across media) use "The Sign of the Four" as the title, while others (including the first book publications) use "The Sign of Four." The five-word form is used most commonly in the story, but the four-word form does show up. (More info.)
Published in novel form as The Sign of Four (1890-10).
Quotations about:
instructions
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“Second to the right, and straight on till morning.”
That, Peter had told Wendy, was the way to the Neverland; but even birds, carrying maps and consulting them at windy corners, could not have sighted it with these instructions. Peter, you see, just said anything that came into his head.
[Holding the Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch]
KING ARTHUR: How does it — um — how does it work?
SIR LANCELOT: I know not, my liege.
KING ARTHUR: Consult the Book of Armaments.
BROTHER MAYNARD: Armaments, chapter two, verses nine through twenty-one.
CLERIC: [reading] And Saint Attila raised the hand grenade up on high, saying, “O Lord, bless this thy hand grenade, that with it thou mayst blow thine enemies to tiny bits, in thy mercy.” And the Lord did grin. And the people did feast upon the lambs, and sloths, and carp, and anchovies, and orangutans, and breakfast cereals, and fruit bats, and large chu–“
BROTHER MAYNARD: Skip a bit, Brother.
CLERIC: And the Lord spake, saying, “First shalt thou take out the Holy Pin. Then shalt thou count to three, no more, no less. Three shall be the number thou shalt count, and the number of the counting shall be three. Four shalt thou not count, neither count thou two, excepting that thou then proceed to three. Five is right out. Once the number three, being the third number, be reached, then lobbest thou thy Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch towards thy foe, who, being naughty in My sight, shall snuff it.”
BROTHER MAYNARD: Amen.
ALL: Amen.
KING ARTHUR: Right. [pulls pin] One … two … five!
GALAHAD: Three, sir.
KING ARTHUR: Three! [throws grenade]
He’d noticed that sex bore some resemblance to cookery: it fascinated people, they sometimes bought books full of complicated recipes and interesting pictures, and sometimes when they were really hungry they created vast banquets in their imagination — but at the end of the day they’d settle quite happily for egg and chips. If it was well done and maybe had a slice of tomato.
Terry Pratchett (1948-2015) English author
Discworld Series No. 24, The Fifth Elephant [footnote] (1999)
(Source)
CLERIC: And the Lord spake, saying, “First shalt thou take out the Holy Pin. Then shalt thou count to three, no more, no less. Three shall be the number thou shalt count, and the number of the counting shall be three. Four shalt thou not count, neither count thou two, excepting that thou then proceed to three. Five is right out. Once the number three, being the third number, be reached, then lobbest thou thy Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch towards thy foe, who, being naughty in My sight, shall snuff it.
Monty Python (b. 1969) British comedy troupe [Graham Chapman, John Cleese, Terry Gilliam, Eric Idle, Terry Jones, Michael Palin]
Monty Python and the Holy Grail (1975)
INSTRUCTIONS: “1. Explain Newton’s First Law of Motion in your own words.”
CALVIN: (writing, after a moment of inspiration) Yakka foob mog. Grug pubbawup zink wattoom gazork. Chumble spuzz.
