WIST

The code was willing,
It considered your request,
But the chips were weak.

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A file that big?
It might be very useful.
But now it is gone.

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Three things are certain:
Death, taxes, and lost data.
Guess which has occurred.

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Yesterday it worked
Today it is not working
Windows is like that

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To have no errors
Would be life without meaning
No struggle, no joy

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Having been erased,
The document you’re seeking
Must now be retyped.

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Everything is gone;
Your life’s work has been destroyed.
Squeeze trigger (yes/no)?

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Errors have occurred.
We won’t tell you where or why.
Lazy programmers.

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wind catches lily
scatt’ring petals to the wind:
segmentation fault

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With searching comes loss
and the presence of absence:
“My Novel” not found.

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The Tao that is seen
Is not the true Tao, until
You bring fresh toner.

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A crash reduces
your expensive computer
to a simple stone.

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“If ignorance is bliss, why aren’t more people happy?”

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“The problem with being too efficient is that once you’ve shown that you can walk on water, every SOB will want you to trot across the lake on errands.”

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“Deja Fu: The feeling that, somehow, somewhere, you’ve been kicked in the head like this before.”

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“Save the whales. Collect the whole set.”

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“I like cats, too. Let’s exchange recipes.”

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“It isn’t what you know that counts, it’s what you think of in time.”

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“A liberal is a conservative who has gone to jail.
A conservative is a liberal who has been mugged.”

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“That’s it, man. Game over, man! It’s game over!”

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“Come, Pinky, or I shall have to hurt you.”

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“Where’s the kaboom? There was supposed to be an earth-shattering kaboom!”

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“Pinky, are you pondering what I’m pondering?”
“I think so, Brain, but me and Pippi Longstocking? I mean, what would the children look like?”

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“Pinky, are you pondering what I’m pondering?”
“I think so, Brain, but this time you put the trousers on the chimp.”

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“Pinky, are you pondering what I’m pondering?”
“I think so, Brain, but burlap chafes me so.”

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“Anyone who isn’t confused here doesn’t really know what’s going on.”

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“I was thinking of the immortal words of Socrates who said: ‘I drank what?’”

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“The NSA is now funding research not only in cryptography, but in all areas of advanced mathematics. If you’d like a circular describing these new research opportunities, just pick up your phone, call your mother, and ask for one.”

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“People don’t kill people. Bad instruction sets kill people.”

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“Well, if you didn’t struggle so much, you wouldn’t get rope burns.”

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“Where are we going? And why are we in a hand basket?”

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“The first sign of maturity is the discovery that the volume knob also turns to the left.”

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“Always remember there are certain people who set their watches by your clock.”

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“To know recursion, you must first know recursion.”

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“Any problem can be made unsolvable if enough meetings are held to discuss it.”

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“Real programmers don’t document; if it was hard to write, it should be hard to read.”

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“I am not looking for realism: I’m looking for functionality.”

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“Who is General Failure and why is he reading my hard drive?”

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“All generalizations are false. That last sentence is not a paradox of self reference, and neither is this one.”

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“Wouldn’t it be neat if a group of auto body specialists, car dealers, and trauma surgeons got together and lobbied Congress for a day where red means go and green means stop?”

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“Every program has at least one bug and can be shortened by at least one instruction — from which, by induction, it is evident that every program can be reduced to one instruction that does not work.”

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“When aiming for the common denominator, be prepared for the occasional division by zero.”

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“I haven’t lost my mind; I’m sure it’s backed up on tape somewhere!”

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“The usability of a computer language is inversely proportional to the number of theoretical axes the language designer tries to grind.”

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“Pinky, are you pondering what I’m pondering?”
“Uh, I think so, Brain, but where will we find a duck and a hose at this hour?”

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“Pinky, are you pondering what I’m pondering?”
“Uh, I think so, Brain, but balancing a family and a career … oooh, it’s all too much for me.”

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“Pinky, are you pondering what I’m pondering?”
“Uh, I think so Brain, but I can’t memorize a whole opera in Yiddish.”

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“Pinky, are you pondering what I’m pondering?”
“Uh … yeah, Brain, but where are we going to find rubber pants our size?”

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“Pinky, are you pondering what I’m pondering?”
“Well, I think so, Brain, but if we didn’t have ears, we’d look like weasels.”

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“Pinky, are you pondering what I’m pondering?”
“I think so Brain, but if they called them Sad Meals kids wouldn’t buy them.”

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