Quotations by Stewart, Jon


She’s a Democrat. She must prove she loves America. As opposed to Republicans, who everyone knows love America — they just hate half the people living in it.

Jon Stewart (b. 1962) American satirist, comedian, and television host. [b. Jonathan Stuart Leibowitz]
“Michelle Obama’s Patriotism,” The Daily Show (26 Aug 2008)

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Added on 25-Nov-09 | Last updated 25-Nov-09
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I think the metric by which television is considered liberal is literally based on the metric of liberalism in each person’s soul. Peoples’ senses of humor tend to go about as far as their ideology.

Jon Stewart (b. 1962) American satirist, comedian, and television host. [b. Jonathan Stuart Leibowitz]
“No News Is Good News, Interview, Adam Bulger, The Hartford Advocate (12 Jun 2008)

 On whether The Daily Show is liberal. Full text.

Added on 4-Nov-09 | Last updated 4-Nov-09
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I reject the idea there are just two sides. I think that with the amount of ideas and thoughts there are, it’s not even going to be consistent with the same person. People can hold liberal and conservative dogma points at the same time. They’re not living their lives via platforms. They’re living their lives. The whole thing is an awfully tired construct.

Jon Stewart (b. 1962) American satirist, comedian, and television host. [b. Jonathan Stuart Leibowitz]
“No News is Good News,” Interview with Adam Bulger, The Hartford Advocate (12 Jun 2008)

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Added on 23-Sep-09 | Last updated 23-Sep-09
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Whatever barriers we put up are gone. Even if it’s just momentary. We are judging people by not the color of their skin, but the content of their character. You know, all this talk about “These guys are criminal masterminds. They’ve gotten together and their extraordinary guile and their wit and their skill …” It’s, it’s — it’s a lie. Any fool can blow something up. Any fool can destroy. But to see these guys, these firefighters and these policemen and people from all over the country, literally with buckets, rebuilding … that’s extraordinary. And that’s why we have already won … they can’t … it’s light. It’s democracy. They can’t shut that down.

Jon Stewart (b. 1962) American satirist, comedian, and television host. [b. Jonathan Stuart Leibowitz]
“September 11, 2001,” Monolog, The Daily Show (20 Sep 2001)

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Added on 10-Dec-09 | Last updated 10-Dec-09
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Religion — it’s given people hope in a world torn apart by religion.

Jon Stewart (b. 1962) American satirist, comedian, and television host. [b. Jonathan Stuart Leibowitz]
The Daily Show
Added on 22-Mar-11 | Last updated 22-Mar-11
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If you don’t stick to your values when they are tested, they’re not values. They’re hobbies.

Jon Stewart (b. 1962) American satirist, comedian, and television host. [b. Jonathan Stuart Leibowitz]
The Daily Show (22 Jan 2009)

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Added on 23-Apr-09 | Last updated 23-Apr-09
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Maybe we should always show pictures. Bin Laden, pictures of our wounded service people, pictures of maimed innocent civilians. We can only make decisions about war if we see what war actually is — and not as a video game where bodies quickly disappear, leaving behind a shiny gold coin.

Jon Stewart (b. 1962) American satirist, comedian, and television host. [b. Jonathan Stuart Leibowitz]
The Daily Show (4 May 2011)
Added on 9-May-11 | Last updated 9-May-11
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Divorce isn’t caused because 50% of marriages end in gayness.

Jon Stewart (b. 1962) American satirist, comedian, and television host. [b. Jonathan Stuart Leibowitz]
The Daily Show, Interview with William Bennett (6 Jun 2006)

Debating gay marriage. Context.

Added on 14-Oct-09 | Last updated 14-Oct-09
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Love what you do. Get good at it. Competence is a rare commodity in this day and age. And let the chips fall where they may.

Jon Stewart (b. 1962) American satirist, comedian, and television host. [b. Jonathan Stuart Leibowitz]
Commencement Address, College of William & Mary (20 May 2004)

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Added on 7-Oct-09 | Last updated 7-Oct-09
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I have not found this generation to be cynical or apathetic or selfish. They are as strong and as decent as any people that I have met. And I will say this, on my way down here I stopped at Bethesda Naval, and when you talk to the young kids that are there that have just been back from Iraq and Afghanistan, you don’t have the worry about the future that you hear from so many that are not a part of this generation but judging it from above.

Jon Stewart (b. 1962) American satirist, comedian, and television host. [b. Jonathan Stuart Leibowitz]
Commencement Address, College of William & Mary (20 May 2004)

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Added on 2-Dec-09 | Last updated 2-Dec-09
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We declared war on terror — it’s not even a noun, so, good luck. After we defeat it, I’m sure we’ll take on that bastard ennui.

Jon Stewart (b. 1962) American satirist, comedian, and television host. [b. Jonathan Stuart Leibowitz]
Commencement Address, William & Mary College (20 May 2004))

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Added on 16-Sep-09 | Last updated 16-Sep-09
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If I was to really get at the burr in my saddle, it’s not politics — and this is, I think, probably a horrible analogy — but I look at politicians as, they are doing what inherently they need to do to retain power. Their job is to consolidate power. When you go to the zoo and you see a monkey throwing poop, you go, “that’s what monkeys do, what are you gonna do?” But what I wish the media would do more frequently is say “bad monkey.”

Jon Stewart (b. 1962) American satirist, comedian, and television host. [b. Jonathan Stuart Leibowitz]
Interview with Charlie Rose (29 Sep 2004)

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Added on 19-Aug-09 | Last updated 19-Aug-09
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Nineteen people flew into the towers. It seems hard for me to imagine that we could go to war enough to make the world safe enough that nineteen people wouldn’t want to do harm to us. So it seems like we have to rethink a strategy that is less military-based.

Jon Stewart (b. 1962) American satirist, comedian, and television host. [b. Jonathan Stuart Leibowitz]
Interview with Tony Blair, The Daily Show (18 Sep 2008)

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Added on 11-Nov-09 | Last updated 11-Nov-09
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I have complete faith in the continued absurdity of whatever’s going on.

Jon Stewart (b. 1962) American satirist, comedian, and television host. [b. Jonathan Stuart Leibowitz]
Interview, Philadelphia Inquirer (22 Apr 2007)

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Added on 26-Aug-09 | Last updated 26-Aug-09
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Here’s the way I look at it. President Bush has uranium-tipped bunker busters and I have puns. I think he’ll be okay.

Jon Stewart (b. 1962) American satirist, comedian, and television host. [b. Jonathan Stuart Leibowitz]
Interview, Rolling Stone (31 Oct 2006)

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Added on 16-Dec-09 | Last updated 16-Dec-09
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The reason I don’t worry about society is, nineteen people knocked down two buildings and killed thousands. Hundreds of people ran into those buildings to save them. I’ll take those odds every fucking day.

Jon Stewart (b. 1962) American satirist, comedian, and television host. [b. Jonathan Stuart Leibowitz]
Interview, Rolling Stone (Nov 2007 )
Added on 2-Sep-09 | Last updated 2-Sep-09
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Everybody wrings their hands about Fox News. You know, “fair and balanced? Why, that’s snide!” Yeah, okay, maybe they’re not fair and balanced, but CNN used to have the slogan “You Can Depend on CNN”. Guess what? I watch it, no you can’t. So what’s the difference?

Jon Stewart (b. 1962) American satirist, comedian, and television host. [b. Jonathan Stuart Leibowitz]
Interview, C-SPAN (14 Oct 2004)
Added on 18-Nov-09 | Last updated 18-Nov-09
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The show in general we feel like is a privilege. Even the idea that we can sit in the back of the country and make wise cracks … which is really what we do. We sit in the back and throw spitballs — but never forgetting that it is a luxury in this country that allows us to do that. That is, a country that allows for open satire, and I know that sounds basic and it sounds like it goes without saying. But that’s really what this whole situation is about. It’s the difference between closed and open. The difference between free and … burdened. And we don’t take that for granted here, by any stretch of the imagination.

Jon Stewart (b. 1962) American satirist, comedian, and television host. [b. Jonathan Stuart Leibowitz]
Monologue, The Daily Show (20 Sep 2001)

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Added on 30-Sep-09 | Last updated 30-Sep-09
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The country’s 24 hour political pundit perpetual panic conflictinator did not cause our problems but its existence makes solving them that much harder. The press can hold its magnifying up to our problems, bringing them into focus, illuminating issues heretofore unseen — or they can use that magnifying glass to light ants on fire, and then perhaps host a week of shows on the sudden, unexpected, dangerous flaming ant epidemic. If we amplify everything we hear nothing.

Jon Stewart (b. 1962) American satirist, comedian, and television host. [b. Jonathan Stuart Leibowitz]
Rally to Restore Sanity and/or Fear, closing speech (30 Oct 2010)
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Added on 29-Aug-13 | Last updated 29-Aug-13
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Most Americans don’t live their lives solely as Democrats or Republicans or conservatives or liberals. Most Americans live their lives that are just a little bit late for something they have to do. Often it’s something they do not want to do, but they do it. Impossible things get done every day that are only made possible by the little, reasonable compromises.

Jon Stewart (b. 1962) American satirist, comedian, and television host. [b. Jonathan Stuart Leibowitz]
Rally to Restore Sanity and/or Fear, closing speech (30 Oct 2010)
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Added on 9-Sep-13 | Last updated 9-Sep-13
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What is the fear of the “gay agenda” that has so upset people? Do people think that if gay people are given a place at the table, they’ll be so convincing we’ll all end up blowing them? What is the issue? “You know, I’m straight, but you’ve made such a convincing argument…”

Jon Stewart (b. 1962) American satirist, comedian, and television host. [b. Jonathan Stuart Leibowitz]
Stand-up comedy performance at RIT (2005)
Added on 9-Sep-09 | Last updated 9-Sep-09
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