BEARD, n. The hair that is commonly cut off by those who justly execrate the absurd Chinese custom of shaving the head.
Ambrose Bierce (1842-1914?) American writer and journalist
“Beard,” The Cynic’s Word Book (1906)
(Source)
Included in The Devil's Dictionary (1911). Originally published in the "Devil's Dictionary" column in the San Francisco Wasp (1881-04-30).
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beard
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Male supremacy: Doctrine built upon three forms of superiority: the ability to grow a handlebar mustache, the ability to answer most of Nature’s calls efficiently, and the possession of pockets.
Marie Shear (1940-2017) American writer and feminist activist
“Media Watch: Celebrating Women’s Words,” New Directions for Women (May/Jun 1986)
(Source)
Gentlemen: I shall never shave, for the same reason that I started a beard, and for the reason my father started his. I remember standing at his side, when I was five, while he was shaving for the last time. “Father,” I asked, “Why do you shave?” He stood there for a full minute and finally looked down at me. “Why the hell do I?” he said.
George Bernard Shaw (1856-1950) British playwright and critic
(Attributed)
Postcard response when invited by an electric razor company to shave off his beard with their product. Variant:
- "I was about five at the time, and I was standing at my father's knee whilst he was shaving. I said to him, 'Daddy, why do you shave?' He looked at me in silence, for a full minute, before throwing the razor out of the window, saying, 'Why the hell do I?' He never did again."
BEATRICE: He that hath a beard is more than a youth, and he that hath no beard is less than a man.
William Shakespeare (1564-1616) English dramatist and poet
Much Ado About Nothing, Act 2, sc. 1, l. 36ff (2.1.36-37) (1598)
(Source)
Of the seven dwarves only Dopey had a shaven face. This should tell us something about the custom of shaving.
Tom Robbins (b. 1932) American novelist
Skinny Legs and All (1990)
