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Whenever yu cum akrost a man, who praizes yu immoderately, and kusses every boddy else in proportion, yu kan make up yure mind, that yure turn for kussing will cum soon.

[Whenever you come across a man, who praises you immoderately, and cusses everybody else in proportion, you can make up your mind, that your turn for cussing will come soon.]

Josh Billings (1818–1885) American humorist, aphorist [pseud. of Henry Wheeler Shaw]
Josh Billings’ Farmer’s Allminax, 1878-09 (1878 ed.)
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Added on 24-Sep-26 | Last updated 24-Sep-26
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Do what you feel in your heart to be right — for you’ll be criticized, anyway. You’ll be “damned if you do, and damned if you don’t.”

Eleanor Roosevelt (1884–1962) American politician, diplomat, activist; First Lady of the US (1933–45)
Quoted in Dale Carnegie, How to Stop Worrying and Start Living, ch. 21 (1948)
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I cannot find this in any of Roosevelt's written works or other primary sources. Carnegie wrote that Roosevelt told him this personally, and framed it as an extension of advice she'd received from her paternal aunt Anna "Bamie" Roosevelt Cowles: "Never be bothered by what people say, as long as you know in your heart you are right." See also Roosevelt.

From this Roosevelt has sometimes been credited with originating the phrase "Damned if you do and damned if you don't," though she set it in quotation marks to indicate she was quoting it. The saying was actually first recorded written by evangelist Lorenzo Dow in 1836.
 
Added on 11-Aug-26 | Last updated 1-Sep-26
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Long ago, I made up my mind that, when things were said involving only me, I would pay no attention to them, except when valid criticism was carried by which I could profit.

Eleanor Roosevelt (1884–1962) American politician, diplomat, activist; First Lady of the US (1933–45)
Column (1942-01-14), “My Day”
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Added on 30-Dec-25 | Last updated 30-Dec-25
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He whom the good praize and wicked hate ought tew be satisfied with hiz reputashun.
 
[He whom the good praise and the wicked hate ought to be satisfied with his reputation.]

Josh Billings (1818–1885) American humorist, aphorist [pseud. of Henry Wheeler Shaw]
Everybody’s Friend, Or; Josh Billing’s Encyclopedia and Proverbial Philosophy of Wit and Humor, ch. 150 “Affurisms: Parboils” (1874)
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Added on 14-Nov-24 | Last updated 14-Nov-24
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